LITMIR.BIZ

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settled, he rubbed her back and stepped away a little, looking down into her face. He looked more relaxed, more handsome, if that was even possible.

      “That was wonderful,” he said, and she nodded, not quite meeting his gaze, kissing his shoulder.

      “Yes, it was.”

      He backed up another step, framing her face in his palms and looking at her with a gaze so penetrating she nearly had to turn away. “Joy, I know a lot about the human body, and about women. What I don’t know is why you’d fake it with me.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “Joy,” he said in gentle admonition, and she moved away, bending to reach for her clothes.

      “Fine, I faked. So what? It was nice anyway, I enjoyed it—I think I might have come close, but I typically don’t … I’ve rarely been able to, uh …”

      “Orgasm,” he stated bluntly.

      She looked away stubbornly, pulling on her underwear and her shirt. “Yes.”

      “Why didn’t you tell me instead of pretending?”

      “I didn’t want to make it bad for you—I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

      “Why would I be disappointed? How could it be bad? It was incredible. A lot of women have trouble in that department, and if you’d told me, I could have done something else.”

      His voice lowered to a sexy pitch when he said the simple words something else, making her flutter all over in response, but she also didn’t know what to say. No man had ever talked to her this bluntly before—none had cared, happy to enjoy themselves and go on their way. She’d gotten used to it, and Rafe’s penetrating gaze and questions made her squirm, awkward and exposed.

      He put his hands on her arms, making her face him.

      “Listen, okay, fine,” she said blusteringly. “I know this is a guy thing, you like to know you can make us respond, and I did respond, Rafe, as best I could. I loved what you did, but I’m too uptight. I think too much, and I can’t turn it off. It’s not you, it’s me,” she joked lamely.

      Joy felt on edge, probably because her body was still riled up. Rafe didn’t make it easy; he didn’t let her off the hook, and she didn’t know exactly how to deal with it. Rafe didn’t want spin, he only wanted the truth.

      “Joy, we can try lots of different things, whatever you want,” he said quietly. Leaning in to kiss her, she didn’t kiss him back, but didn’t draw away, either. “Let me show you—we can experiment, play, whatever.”

      Joy wanted to believe that, but she knew … she just knew that as long as her mind was engaged, she wasn’t going to be able to loosen up enough to find satisfaction. The wheels in her mind spun around an idea, one she wasn’t sure she should speak out loud. Would he think she was a total freak?

      Regardless of her doubts, she wanted badly to be with Rafe—she wanted so much to believe what he was saying, and there might be one way they could both enjoy their time together.

      “You’re open to anything?”

      “As long as it doesn’t involve serious physical injury, animals or shaving off my body hair, yes. Anything.”

      She laughed. He made her laugh so easily. That was a good thing, wasn’t it?

      “My doctor told me my little problem wasn’t anything physical—I’m mentally blocked. I can, uh, you know … help myself,” she admitted, and saw his eyes blaze with interest. “Then there are my dreams…. Nothing holds me back in dreams, so it’s only a problem when I’m awake, apparently,” she tried to joke, but it fell flat.

      “That’s good to know,” he said, not laughing, either, touching her face gently.

      “So I’m thinking, maybe we should try being together at night. You know, if you come over and sleep here, and I start to dream … I think I would be less … repressed, just then.”

      His brow furrowed, and she held her breath, afraid he would refuse.

      “I’m all for spending the night in your bed, Joy—but are you saying you want me to have sex with you while you’re sleeping?”

      She fidgeted, but decided to boldly state her case, since he had said he’d do anything.

      “Well, I mean, I have these hot dreams, and they’re about you anyway, and maybe if you’re there, then if things start up, and maybe my mind would be as receptive as my body. I do want you, Rafe.”

      He pulled on his jeans, taking a moment to think.

      “I see your point, but I wouldn’t want to startle you, or worse, while you’re sleeping. Chances are those dreams are about more than sex. Maybe if we spend some time during the day together, and get to know each other a little, that would help, too. You know, the Japanese sometimes make foreplay last all day long, or longer, before actually having sex.” He smiled naughtily. “I think we’ve gotten a good start in that area.”

      “Oh,” was all she could say. The thought of all-day foreplay with Rafe made her knees weak.

      “So why don’t we clean this mess up and take a shower—” he looked down at the frosting dried to his chest “—and then we can head down to the shelter to talk with your friend.”

      “You want to come to the shelter?”

      “Sure, I want to help if I can.”

      Joy chewed on her lip, thinking. “I don’t know. It’s probably not anything you really want to bother with, seeing as you’re just here for—”

      “Joy,” he said, cutting her off.

      “Huh?”

      “Don’t close me out, and don’t make what’s between us low—I’m not just here for sex.”

      She cleared her throat. “I was going to say, as you’re just here for a few weeks.”

      “Oh. Whoops.” He slanted an embarrassed grin, but recovered quickly. “Well, I want to help, if I can. It’s less than a week before Christmas, and you have an ambitious plan, so I’ll be another set of hands. I’d like to be part of this with you, even if for a little while.”

      She didn’t know why having him come to the shelter was so difficult, as if she were sharing more with him now than her body. Still, his appeal was sincere. He’d listened to her all day and had some good ideas.

      “Okay. I appreciate that.”

      “Thanks. It’ll be a fun day. And then …” His voice trailed off, but he was smiling in a way that made her blood warm and her muscles loose.

      “And then?”

      “I want to spend the night with you, Joy—I’d like to spend every night that I’m here with you. I’ve got enough of an ego that I’d like you to be awake when I’m inside of you. I want you to know you’re with me, not just in your dreams, flattering as that is. I want you to know it, remember everything I do to you.”

      The way he said it made her melt. She remembered quite well what it was like when he filled her body with his own, and she would like to be awake for that, too.

      “I know. Me, too. Maybe this is a way to get to that point?”

      He pulled her close. “Sure … but first let’s go take that shower.”

       10

      JOY SAT IN THE MEETING, trying to concentrate, but her focus was not on the job at hand. She made eye contact with Ken, nodded, scribbled down a note, and then her thoughts wandered off. She couldn’t wait for this endless meeting to cease. Who really cared about what colors of certain toys sold better than others? Did she?

      Not really.

      However,

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