LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter One

      What the fuck are you doing?

      Thom tried to suppress the voice in his head as it screamed louder. Was he really doing this? Here, in front of all these people, had he just objected to his own wedding? Who the hell did that?

      It seemed surreal, and yet, the words he’d uttered moments ago glared like neon signs in his mind. Better still, the words felt right.

      The hush that had settled over the crowd at his brash announcement started to fracture. Mute shock gave way to wide-eyed speculation then super-eager anticipation of salacious gossip on which to dine on for the rest of the year. Well, not quite a year. One month, tops. This was TMZ Central, after all.

      He glanced at the woman by his side. Elana had paled. For the first time since he’d known her, she looked green around the gills, even worse than she had after Harrison’s accident. Her wide, uncertain gaze held his, the bouquet clutched tight in her fist trembling a little. But within that look, he caught something else. Relief, perhaps? Or was he projecting his own feelings onto her? What the hell did that matter now?

      Sweet freedom beckoned. He could taste it at the back of his throat. With a few words, this nightmare of living in the darkest part of the closet would be over.

      But... Jesus...at what cost?

      “Thom?”

      He blinked.

      Elana’s voice was as shaky as he felt.

      He tightened his gut against the anxiety he heard in her voice. She could be wild and frivolous sometimes, but Elana was still human. And he was fucking up what should be her perfect day.

      He was fucking up the day for everyone. Including his parents.

      Shit. His parents. He could feel their gazes boring into his back, his mother’s especially. He didn’t need to turn around to see her narrow-eyed are-you-outta-your-mind? stare.

      They would hate him for doing this. Enough to disown him? Maybe. Maybe not. He had the advantage of being the only child to eventually sway them, but still, love and hate could cohabit just fine. He should know. It was what he felt each time he looked in the mirror and acknowledged the fact that was still hiding his true self.

      This alliance meant a great deal to his parents.

      But, hell, wasn’t it time he stood his ground? Claim the life he truly wanted for himself, instead of living this sham?

      Elana was still staring at him. Her eyes were slowly narrowing with that curious mix of anxiety and resignation.

      Behind him, the crowd waited, expectant.

      He swallowed past the rock in his throat and turned, carefully avoiding looking at where his parents were seated and focused somewhere in the middle distance.

      “Ladies and gentlemen, I know what you’re all thinking—what the hell is he up to? But, hey, the groom needs a little attention at his own wedding, too, am I right?” His laughter sounded forced, even to his own ears.

      A smattering of nervous laughter. More than a few disappointed expressions that said they’d hoped for something more earth-shattering than his pathetic joke. Nevertheless, they were all poised on the edges of their seats. They sensed there was more to come.

      For a moment, his gaze dropped to the VIP section on the front rows. His future mother-in-law’s megawatt smile was flawless but fixed, her eyes demanding to know what the hell was going on. He hurriedly looked away. He couldn’t afford to waver.

      He needed to do this.

      “First of all, I’d like to thank you all for coming, even if most of you are here to see the most beautiful woman in the world marry a nobody like me.” Self-deprecating laughter, joined in by one or two. More exchanged looks. Mariella’s eyes started

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