LITMIR.BIZ

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was a staircase right by the altar. “What the hell are you doing?” Pru asked, and then the voices of the guests rumbled and echoed in the church. Down the stairs they went, Levi’s hand inescapable. He was a bully. He was ruining everything.

      “Jeremy,” she squeaked, looking back. Her fiancé didn’t meet her eyes.

      Levi pushed through the door at the bottom of the stairs. The church basement was dim and smelled like chalk. Four or five metal folding chairs sat huddled together. Bible Study or AA or something. Levi let go of her arm and then guided Jeremy a few paces away, leaving her standing alone.

      “What’s going on here?” It was her father, thank God, and Colleen and her sisters and Jack, and Jeremy’s parents, too. Her father came to her side and put his arm around her, and she sagged against his shoulder. “You’re ruining their wedding, Levi!”

      Yes! He was supposed to be the best man, not the ruiner of weddings. How dare he? You know, she had always wished Jeremy had had a different friend. She’d never liked Levi Cooper. He was too...secretive. And confident. And he’d never liked her, especially after that one stupid kiss.

      “Hang on a sec,” Levi said.

      He and Jeremy were talking, Jeremy’s voice panicky, Levi’s lower, calmer. Then Jeremy nodded; Levi gave his shoulder a squeeze, nodded, then turned to the group.

      “Jeremy and Faith need a little time alone,” he said. His eyes stopped—not on Faith, but on Mr. and Mrs. Lyon.

      “Oh,” Elaine said, her voice very, very soft. “Oh, dear.”

      “Faith?” Dad said. “Do you want us to stay?”

      She looked at Jeremy, who loved her. Who’d called her last night to say everything he ever wanted was to be her husband. “It’ll be okay. It’s fine, Daddy.”

      “I’ll be right on the other side of that door,” he said. “Call if you need me.”

      Everyone left, slowly, uncertainly, glancing back at Faith. She sank into a metal chair, Jeremy sitting across from her. And Levi, damn him, walked a few feet away and stood with his hands behind his back, staring at the floor, looking like a stone wall.

      “Does he have to stay?” Faith whispered.

      “I...I’d like him to,” Jeremy whispered back. “If that’s okay.”

      She looked into his eyes, which were so dark they were almost black, and which had always seemed so happy—with her, with life. Smiling seemed to be his natural expression, and everyone commented on it, that big, ready grin of his.

      No smiling now.

      She sensed the world was about to end.

      “Faith,” he said, his voice soft and broken, “I want you to know that I do love you, so much.” He took a breath and looked at the floor. “But I can’t marry you.”

      “Why?” she asked, her voice squeaking. “Are you sick? I don’t mind, I’d stay with you, that’s the whole point, in sickness and in—”

      He looked back up, his gaze slamming into hers. “I’m gay.”

      The two words seemed to float around her for a few seconds, meaningless, before they hooked into her brain. She sucked in a quick breath and jerked back, and started to speak. It took a few tries; her mouth was making odd little noises, her lips trying and failing to form words. Finally, she stopped, gave her head a quick shake, and tried again.

      “No, you’re not. You’re not gay.”

      “I’m so sorry.” He looked...old.

      “You don’t have to be sorry! You don’t! Because you’re not. You aren’t. You can’t be.”

      He hesitated, looking at the floor, folding his hands together loosely, his beautiful doctor hands. There should’ve been a wedding ring on the fourth finger of his left hand by now. There would’ve been if Levi had kept his mouth shut.

      Jeremy took a deep breath. “I didn’t...acknowledge it, and I really thought I could... I mean, for a long time, I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t. I just thought those feelings would go away, and with you, it was like proof that I wasn’t—”

      “Stop! Shut it, Jeremy. My God.” Okay, she was hyperventilating a little. “You are not gay.” She took a steadying breath. “You have the worst taste in clothes I’ve ever seen in a man. I had to teach you how to dress. Remember those mom jeans you thought looked good on you? They were horrible! You have no sense of style whatsoever. If it weren’t for me and Banana Republic—”

      “Faith, I—”

      “No! Plus, you’re a terrible dancer! I mean, we had to take six lessons before you figured out the box step, Jeremy! And—and—and you played football! You were really good at it, too. You played football, Jeremy! You were the quarterback!”

      He put his hands on her knees, on her beautiful dress, on all that poufy fabric, and his happy, beautiful face was so old and tragic now, oh, God. “I know,” he said, his voice rough. “And I thought, when I met you, that I’d sort of click into place. I really did love you—”

      “You do love me! Don’t put that in the past tense!” she cried, her voice shrill. “You said you wanted to be my husband! You said so on the phone last night, Jeremy!”

      “Take it easy,” Levi said.

      Faith whirled around. “Shut up, Levi!” she barked. “If you have to be here, at least shut up!” He looked back down at the floor and obeyed.

      Faith took a breath, then another, and looked into Jeremy’s eyes. “I know you love me,” she went on more steadily. “I know that more than I know anything. How can you be saying all this?” She lowered her voice. “Did Levi make a pass at you or—”

      “No! God, no,” Jeremy said. “Levi has nothing to do with this. You’re the only one I’ve ever been with, Faith. Ever.”

      “See? Then you’re not gay. You’re just not. We’ve been sleeping together since sophomore year of college!”

      A horrible thought occurred to her. That maybe dating a guy who said he loved you but waited two years to get into your pants...oh, shit.

      “Faith, when we’re...together,” Jeremy said, very, very quietly, “I have to...um...”

      At that moment, the door opened and Jeremy’s great-aunt Peg came in. “I just have to use the ladies’ room,” she said. “Don’t worry, I won’t listen to a word. Faith, darling, you look so beautiful. And, Levi, is it? Oh, I love a man in uniform! Thank you for your service, sweetheart.”

      “Uh...you’re welcome,” Levi said. “Thanks for your support.”

      Good God. This was just bizarre enough to be a nightmare. You know what? It might be. She prayed it was. The great-aunt in the loo, Jeremy being gay...come on! It had to be a dream. Please, God. Let me wake up in my bed and have this be a dream, and Jeremy and I will still get married. I can tell him about this dream, and we’ll laugh and laugh about it. Please.

      The details, though. The smell of chalk, the cold chairs. The gleam on Levi’s shoes, his crew cut.

      Jeremy’s bowed head.

      Finally, Great-Aunt Peg emerged. “See you upstairs!” she said, waving merrily.

      “You were saying?” Faith said. Her voice was sharper now, harder. “When we’re together, you have to what, Jeremy?”

      He grimaced. “I have to think of...other things. Even though I think you’re beautiful and—”

      “What things?” she said. “I think I deserve to know what things you had to picture!”

      “Faith, this probably isn’t—” Levi began.

      “Shut

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