LITMIR.BIZ

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she wandered between the couples, her voice becoming softer. ‘Making it more pleasurable for the man’s sexual core—his “lingam”.’

      Nothing too weird yet. Most people had their eyes closed, a few were whispering to each other—but as their pelvic muscles were packed away safely behind their kaftans, Cash was happy to watch.

      ‘Now it’s time to turn to each other and tell each other what makes us happy.’

      The couples started murmuring and Patricia looked up.

      ‘You too, Faith. I’ve told you before you can’t come if you’re not going to join in.’

      Faith’s blue eyes swivelled to his. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘But Patricia thinks I’ll make everyone uncomfortable if I don’t join in. I usually come alone to do my research but seeing as you’re here...’

      ‘It’s fine. You can tell me what makes you happy.’ Strangely there was a pull inside him that wondered what did make her happy. Faith was always busy, always running. She seemed to be searching for some kind of answer and he was beginning to wonder exactly what was the question.

      ‘We should sit.’ She sat cross-legged on the grass. Cash shifted his body down. Too many years of bone-crushing rugby meant there was no way in hell he’d be able to sit cross-legged, but he managed to prop one knee up and spread the other out before he realised he had her encased within his legs. She looked small sitting there. Her hair was down and curled around her shoulders and her light skin glowed in the sunshine. Something else pulled at him—but he ignored it. Not the time. Not the place. Definitely not the girl.

      ‘So what makes you happy, Cash?’

      ‘Patricia said you had to join in, not me.’ Cash didn’t want to talk. He had a tendency to be too honest sometimes and he wasn’t about to let Faith in to anything going on in his head. She’d be shocked when she found out what he was really like.

      ‘Go on, it won’t hurt.’ She smiled and Cash sighed, shifting on the hard ground. Why did everything have to be so difficult? There was a simple solution to his current programming issues. Can the sex show, rejig the breakfast news programme and introduce the new sports show. But he’d promised Faith he’d let her try and prove herself to him. Although he knew she wouldn’t be able to change his mind. He knew all about his stubborn streak; it was why he was making more money than he’d imagined he ever could and heading towards the top of the TV game.

      ‘What makes me happy? Surfing. Steak.’ He looked into Faith’s eyes. ‘Silence.’

      Faith’s lips didn’t smile, but her eyes did. Something about them held him steady, unblinking. They were such pretty eyes and she watched him so intently, as if she was trying to read his mind by looking inside his eyes. He shifted a little again and then felt her hands on his knees. The warmth of them made him still.

      ‘Relax,’ she said quietly, her voice dripping in that honey warmth he recognised. ‘No one’s judging you here.’

      The sun on the back of his neck instantly burned. He rubbed at it. She was wrong. He was always being judged. Everyone was. That was just the way it went.

      ‘I like quiet too,’ Faith began, removing her hands from his knees. Relief ran through him and he rested his hands behind him, still watching her though. Watching her watch him. ‘I like to sit and listen. You know?’

      He didn’t, but he liked to listen to her talk. Her accent was cute. Posh, but every now and again her lips would curl as she manoeuvred them around a word and a strange broad accent would creep in.

      ‘I like to just listen to the wind or the sounds below my bedroom window and switch off. Pretend I’m a cat and I can just sit and watch, then slink away when I want—where no one will find me.’

      ‘You want to be a cat?’ How was it that she could always say something that surprised him?

      She laughed, her eyes crinkling and her teeth flashing in the sunlight. ‘Sometimes. How about you? Have you ever wanted to be anything else? Anyone else?’

      Cash thought about that. He thought about his brother. Yes. For years he’d wanted to be someone else.

      ‘No.’

      ‘I wish I were as brave as you.’ Faith’s smile faltered, her eyes falling.

      ‘I’m not brave.’ He was a coward; he knew that, but no one else did. No one beyond his home town of Warra Creek anyway.

      ‘Yes, you are. You say what you have to say. You do what you have to do. You don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you or what might happen. You’re fearless.’

      He watched her as she spoke. Something about her had him transfixed. He shook it off. Anyone would like to hear someone talking about them like that. It was just his weak little ego wanting a boost, that was all—which was what had happened when he fell in love the last time. She’d boosted his ego. But that was nine years ago—his ego didn’t need boosting any more. He didn’t need anyone trying to make him feel better about himself. He didn’t need anyone.

      ‘I’d call that being pig-headed, not brave.’

      Faith laughed and the change in her face was instant. The wide smile transformed her face and he felt something pull at his chest. How long had it been since he’d made a woman laugh? Not simper. Not flirt with him. But laugh, out loud in the sunshine.

      ‘I think you might be right there. But still. I’d love to be myself and not worry about what anyone thinks. I’d love to be brave like that.’

      She was still smiling and he supposed that was the reason he felt a smile pull across his own face. He supposed that was why he wanted to talk.

      ‘You are brave, Faith. You travelled across the world to start up a show that could have made you a laughing stock. But you did it. And you’re here now. Proving yourself, standing up to me.’

      ‘Is that brave, or just foolish?’

      ‘A little of both maybe. But you’re doing it. You’re not running away.’ Not as he had.

      ‘Thank you, Cash. I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.’

      Cash raised his eyebrows at her. ‘That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you? You need to find some new friends.’

      His joke didn’t make her laugh. She broke her gaze and although her body didn’t move he could feel her pulling away.

      The murmuring of the other people and the sounds of the birds started to get louder. He shouldn’t have said that. He had a habit of saying the first thing that popped into his head, a habit he’d found hard to break over the years, but usually he managed to achieve it. There was something about Faith, though, that made him want to talk. That made him think he could trust her. He should have known better.

      Just when he thought Faith was going to get up and walk away from him, she leaned in again. ‘People don’t usually say nice things to me because I don’t often give them a reason to.’

      Cash stopped. What did that mean? He wanted to know more, he wanted to say more but he didn’t dare. He might say something else to upset her and today—here in the sunshine with her sitting between his legs—he didn’t want to upset her.

      Patricia was coaching again. Telling everyone to move their bodies, welcome the light through their pelvis. The people in the circle started to move in strange ways, lifting their hips and opening their arms. He hoped Faith wasn’t expecting him to do that. Not only would his body probably refuse but it all seemed a little stupid to him. This wasn’t sex. This was a whole load of rubbish about feelings and emotions. Sex was about sex. Pleasure. Rock hard, pounding, sweaty pleasure. End of story.

      ‘Tantric sex is all about deepening the connection you have with someone,’ Faith murmured from her position on the grass. He didn’t turn to face her. He wished she wouldn’t use the words sex and deepening in the same sentence.

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