LITMIR.BIZ

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she was alone.

      Two quick raps announced the doctor’s arrival.

      “Shawn, I understand we might be seeing a lot of each other again.”

      “I can’t stay away.”

      Chuckling, Dr. Axman set down her file and looked at Shawn more closely. “As you probably guessed, our tests were positive, too. You’re pregnant.”

      She couldn’t help the tremor that coursed through her at the words. “I hope this time…” Her voice drifted off. She was too afraid to voice her fears.

      But once again Dr. Axman seemed to read her mind. “We’re going to make sure you and this baby are just fine, Shawn.”

      Dr. Axman was fiftyish and looked like the famous Mary Kay of Mary Kay cosmetics—blonde, perfectly coifed and well put together. She also had the best bedside manner—motherly, humorous and matter-of-fact.

      Whether it was that attitude or the fact that she was finally sharing her secret, Shawn burst into tears. “I didn’t want to have any more kids. Not after last time.”

      “It was God’s way of telling us that baby wasn’t ready for us. Remember? It was no one’s fault. This time, you’re going to be fine.”

      “I know. I just…I just thought I was finally getting my act together. And all these girls—they’re going to drive me crazy when they’re teenagers.”

      “Maybe things won’t be as bad as you think.”

      “With four kids? I’m going to lose my mind.”

      Obviously trying hard not to smile, the obstetrician reached out to pat her hand. “This wasn’t expected, I guess?”

      “No. What am I going to do?” Before the doctor could say a word, Shawn shook her head. “I mean, I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to have four kids. I’m not even married anymore! I sure didn’t plan on it. I didn’t plan on any of it.”

      Opening her file, Dr. Axman murmured, “So how long were you on the pills before you stopped taking them?”

      “I never filled the prescription.”

      “Ah.”

      “And just in case you’re curious, the father’s Eddie. We had, oh, I don’t know…a relapse. One time.” Actually they’d managed to do things more than once, but not even her doctor needed to know that.

      “I see.”

      Shawn gave her the date. “That’s the night I got pregnant.”

      Pulling out the circular calendar, Dr. Axman said, “We’re at a little more than four months, just about four and a half. Looks like we’re going to almost have a Labor Day baby. Let’s say September 8.”

      “September. Well, that’s a free month. No birthdays there.”

      Oh, she couldn’t even believe she was talking like this.

      After a quick examination, Shawn received another prescription, this one for vitamins. “Now don’t forget to take these pills.”

      “I won’t.”

      “Is Eddie planning on being involved with the pregnancy?”

      “Not so much.” She was pretty sure he’d be ecstatic about the baby, but she didn’t see a need to visit the doctor with her.

      “Ah.”

      “We’re divorced, you know. And he’s moved on. He’s got a girlfriend.”

      “I see.” Dr. Axman was a master at keeping her expression neutral.

      Shawn didn’t know why she felt like defending Eddie, but she didn’t want the doctor to think the worst of him. “Jayne seems real nice. She’s a kindergarten teacher.”

      “Are you dating?”

      “No! I’m…you know…”

      “Pregnant.”

      “I’m so pregnant.” Shawn bit her lip. Great, Shawn. It’s not enough you’re sitting here half-naked, you’re about to start crying again.

      Picking up her file, Dr. Axman looked at Shawn with concern. “I guess that’s it for now. Take care of yourself, would you please?”

      “I’ll try.”

      Pausing again, the doctor looked at Shawn’s chart. “I’ll see you next month. Unless you have a problem of course. Then, don’t hesitate to call.”

      “Thank you.”

      Over the next month or two, Shawn knew she was going to be showing something awful. And within the next few weeks—not months—she was going to have to break the news to Eddie. That while he’d moved on, she was carrying around a little something from their past.

      “IT’S FRIDAY, Eddie. Want to come out with us tonight?” Sal asked as they turned in their time cards and exited the police station. “We’re heading over to The Precinct for a couple of beers.”

      The Precinct was a cop bar located about two blocks from the station. Made of cement blocks and definitely sparse in the decor area, it served as a haven for police officers in the area. When he was still married, he’d stopped over there at least once a month, needing a moment to take the edge off the day before heading home and facing a night of fighting with Shawn.

      Luckily the bar didn’t hold the appeal that it used to. “No thanks, I’ve got plans.”

      Sal looked him over. “You’re not working a double shift again, are you?”

      “Not tonight. I’ve got three little girls to take out.”

      Sal grinned. “Now that’s what I like to hear. I’m glad you’ve got your priorities back. Where are you taking your best girls?”

      “Probably just back to my place. They like hanging out with me. We’ll probably just eat pizza and play Candy Land or something.”

      “You being with them is what counts, don’t you think? My grandson likes pick-up sticks. We could play that all night.”

      “I’ll have to pick up some of them. I liked those, too.” Thinking some more about his upcoming evening, he said, “You know, it’s kind of weird. Back when I was home with them, Shawn and I used to always check to see that the other person wasn’t slacking when all three girls needed help. Now I wish I was around them all the time—and I don’t need any help with them, either.”

      “That’s love.”

      “That’s it, exactly.” There was nothing like the stale smell of an empty apartment to make a man long for things to be a little messed up and noisy. Until he’d had kids, he’d had no idea just how powerful love really was.

      “What does Shawn do when you’ve got the girls?”

      “I don’t know. She usually works or something.” But as he spoke, Eddie was uncomfortably aware that that was exactly what she did. If she had any need to date other men, he hadn’t heard about it.

      Glancing at his watch, Eddie picked up his pace. “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late. Shawn’s working, so I’ve got to pick the girls up from the sitter.”

      “Hey, isn’t it nice to know that you’re their father, not the babysitter? Some guys don’t spend any time with their kids unless they have to.”

      “It’s great,” Eddie said in parting, quickly unlocking his car and climbing in.

      Sal was right. Eddie had always considered himself a good dad, but he knew he hadn’t always shouldered the responsibilities equally with Shawn.

      More often than was comfortable to admit, he had taken on the role of provider and fun parent, leaving Shawn to

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