LITMIR.BIZ

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spent the night with Mom,” she answered. “After being gone so long …”

      She let the thought hang. Let Clay reach his own conclusions—that she’d caught up on some quality time with her mother. It wasn’t totally untrue.

      Today she was feeling much better. She’d done chores and had breakfast and showered. The cake she’d made was nearly cool enough to eat and she still had energy to burn. She might not be ready for a night at the pub, but she was going a little stir crazy being cooped up on the ranch. She needed to get out and do something. No one else would listen to her plans. But maybe Clay would. Clay had fought against the odds himself and was always looking at ways of improving his operation.

      Besides, when he left today she wanted him to remember her strong and fit and ambitious. Not with the pity she knew was hiding behind his worried eyes.

      “You busy? Do you have time for a ride?”

      Clay’s hands came out of his pockets. “A ride?”

      “I want to show you something. Besides, Clover and Calico can both use the exercise.”

      “I don’t know. I should get back.”

      Meg shrugged. “Never mind then. It’s not important.” She was disappointed at his response. Heck, she was disappointed in him if it came down to it. After his apology the other day she’d hoped they’d get back to an easy friendship, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

      She expected him to leave but he didn’t move. Instead he watched her with a puzzled look on his face. “I can probably spare an hour or so.”

      Meg forced a smile, determined to put her mini breakdown behind her. Despite his recent reticence, she knew Clay was open-minded and fair and would give her an honest opinion. “Great. I’ll put on my coat and meet you in the barn.”

      When she joined him, he already had Clover saddled and he was laying a blanket over Calico’s withers. Meg went up to the mare and gave her nose an affectionate rub. “You didn’t waste any time.”

      “I knew which saddle was yours.” He gave the saddle a swing and settled it on Calico’s back, reaching for the cinch straps.

      Meg reached for a bridle, suddenly realizing how familiar they really were with each other. It was nothing for Clay to walk in here and know the stock and tack as well as his own. For all intents and purposes, he’d been like a part of the family since forever.

      That had taken a serious hit when she broke the news about her illness. If he’d truly known her, he never would have judged her so harshly.

      And yet she knew that of anyone, he would understand her plans for the future. He felt about his ranch the way she felt about the Briggs place. She put her boot in the stirrup and slid into the saddle—after years of being with Calico it was as familiar and comfortable as an easy chair. This was one thing that hadn’t changed, that wouldn’t change. This was who she was, she realized. And nothing—or no one—would take that away from her. Not ever again.

      Full of renewed purpose, she gripped the reins in her gloved hand. “I want to show you something,” she said to Clay, and with a nudge of her heels led the way out of the barn.

      The bitter cold from the arctic front was being nudged away by a Chinook arch that was forming to the west. She gave the mare a little kick and they crested the rise. Meg moved fluidly into a trot, loving the feel of being on horseback again. Feeling restless, Calico gave a little kick and Meg laughed out of simple joy.

      Clay caught up and she looked over at him appraisingly. Sure, maybe the juvenile crush days were over, but she had to admit he still looked pretty amazing in his black Stetson and jeans. The denim clung to his strong legs and he sat a horse as prettily as she’d ever seen. And he had called her beautiful. Not just now, but before. As beautiful as you ever were, he’d said. He couldn’t possibly know how much of a hit her vanity had taken over the last few months. She never felt womanly or beautiful these days. It gave her badly bruised feminine pride a boost to think that even if he’d never cared for her in that way, he’d at least noticed her on some level.

      “Snow’ll be gone by morning,” Clay said as they slowed. “We could use some milder weather.”

      “Sure makes calving a lot easier.” She let herself be drawn back to practicalities.

      “We lost one yesterday.”

      Meg turned to look at him as Calico picked her way along the familiar trail. “Oh, no.”

      “It happens. Pete and I did a C-section but it was too late.”

      “Pete’s the best there is,” Meg answered, knowing how Clay valued his foreman. “But no one said it was easy. There are lots of operations struggling right now.” She let out a breath. It was the perfect way to lead into what she wanted to talk to him about.

      “That’s what I wanted to talk to Dawson about before the next meeting,” he said.

      “You mean us,” she said faintly, rocking in the saddle as Calico started up over a knoll.

      “You?”

      He sounded so surprised Meg clamped her mouth shut. As close as Clay was to her family, he didn’t seem to know about the troubles the Briggs’s were having. It wasn’t as bad as some, that’s for sure. But it was enough that Meg had trouble sleeping at night wondering how they were going to make it through. If they had a bad year, the results could be devastating to their place.

      She reached up and tugged her hat further over her ears.

      “So what did you want to show me?”

      She reined in and looked down the hill at the ranch. “That,” she said, lifting her voice above the rising wind.

      “It’s your place. So?”

      The barns were spread out over the farmyard, machinery lined up precisely, fences in good repair. Nothing, she knew, was wasted or neglected. “Dawson has done a good job, hasn’t he?”

      “He’s a good rancher.”

      “It’s a two-man ranch, though, don’t you think?”

      “Same as mine, I suppose. Though I’ve got Pete and some hired help in the summer.”

      “We don’t.”

      Meg turned her back to the view and looked earnestly at Clay. “For a while I was the second man, remember?”

      “And in the summers you did the circuit.”

      “That’s right,” she replied, remembering the long days of travel and the rush of competing in rodeos as a barrel racer. Clay was watching her closely. She wanted to share her idea with someone who could see the potential in it rather than just seeing reasons why not. “Calico and I competed. And the money I made paid my expenses and the rest went back into the ranch.”

      “Are you saying you want to start racing again?”

      Meg thought of the rows of trophies she’d earned over the years. It had been fun and challenging and she’d been good at it. But now she wanted more. To put down roots instead of the constant travel during the season. To make her mark in a different, long-lasting way. She wanted to build something, watch it flourish, and the thrill of winning did have an expiry date.

      “Not exactly. I want to do something else, Clay. More than help with the chores and hope for the best, you know?”

      She looked up at him, wanting him to understand. “I love this place. It’s mine, too, as much as it is Dawson’s. It’s in here.” She pressed her right hand to her heart. “But yeah, we’re struggling. And the whole damn family is treating me with kid gloves and won’t even listen to my ideas!”

      The last part came out with a little more vitriol than she expected and she saw Clay’s lips twitch.

      “Meg.” His tone was patronizing

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