LITMIR.BIZ

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colleagues who had been willing to waive their usual fees for the in vitro procedure, but she and Bill would have had to go into debt to pay for an egg donor. Without hesitation, Zady had volunteered, and the process had brought the women even closer.

      When their baby girl was born, Zady had been thrilled to be chosen as godmother. Alice and Bill had considered her part of the family, welcoming her offers to babysit Linda.

      After they moved to the Los Angeles area, she’d driven down from Santa Barbara occasionally to babysit on weekends when they were tied up with seminars. But these past few months they’d grown distant. Zady had assumed her move to Orange County would help, but now she understood why Alice had been reluctant to confide in her.

      “I know you counted on us to raise Linda as a married couple.” Alice’s voice trembled. “But this is beyond my control.”

      “I would never interfere.” Zady had signed legal papers surrendering her rights. And much as she loved her goddaughter, she was in no position to raise a child unless there was no other option.

      “I’m glad you called. It’s been hard for me to get any perspective on the situation.” Alice broke off as a toddler’s voice squawked in the background. “Oh dear, she’s finished her nap already.”

      The girl’s cry of, “Mommy, I need you!” cut straight to Zady’s heart. When she’d last seen Linda, the child had just begun stringing two words together, and now she’d spoken a whole sentence. She was growing up fast.

      Without me. But that had been the arrangement, and she had no intention of trying to change that. “Will you consider having a serious discussion with Bill?” Zady asked. “Or is it too late for that?”

      “No. I was just letting off steam. I haven’t consulted a lawyer or anything.” Alice sounded less frazzled. “You’re a terrific friend. I should have remembered that sooner.”

      “Please stay in touch. I care about you.”

      “I’ll call with an update when I have one.”

      “You can count on me.”

      After they said goodbye, Zady finished dressing and applied makeup, her mind whirling. Would Linda really have to grow up in a single-parent home? Surely a five-minute conversation with her hadn’t resolved Alice’s problems.

      Zady had believed she was doing the right thing by donating her eggs and entrusting her daughter to two loving parents. Surely interfering now would be selfish, and possibly harmful. Or was she rationalizing?

      It would be hard to focus on Nick’s issues with his son while her thoughts were buzzing with what she’d learned. But she’d promised to be there for him and his little boy, and Zady meant to keep her word.

      * * *

      NICK WISHED HE’D done more than muck out the empty fast-food sacks and grocery receipts littering his blue coupe before Zady climbed in. As he steered onto the freeway with Zady belted into the seat beside him, her soft floral fragrance sensitized him to the messy accumulation of lint, fingerprints and window streaks that a bachelor took for granted.

      But surely there was another cause for her remote attitude than his messy car. Since she hadn’t brought it up, he risked a guess. “In case you’re worried, Marshall didn’t seem concerned about you and me having a friendly chat yesterday.”

      “Did you mention today’s trip?” Zady asked.

      “It never came up.”

      “I’ll tell him tomorrow, unless you’d rather I didn’t talk about your son.”

      “No, that’s fine. I corrected his erroneous impression about my relationship with Caleb.”

      “How’d he take it?”

      “Oddly enough, with a touch of envy.”

      Zady didn’t respond. She continued gazing out the window at a cluster of low-rise buildings.

      It wasn’t an inspiring landscape. Far from the beach and harbor from which the town’s name derived, the view included stretches of modest houses punctuated by big-box stores and light-industrial buildings.

      Zady’s silence left room for Nick to ponder what lay ahead. He’d concentrated on paying off his debts and saving for a down payment on a house, equating economic security with providing a loving home. But I’m his father. Having grown up largely without one, Nick, of all people, understood what a painful hole it left in a child’s heart to live apart from his father.

      He’d considered his cousin incredibly lucky to have a dad who stuck around. But judging by Marshall’s comments yesterday, Upton Davis’s occasional presence hadn’t been enough.

      “I’ve been thinking,” he said aloud. “Maybe I owe it to my son to bring him to live with me.”

      Zady swiveled toward him. “I realize these are his grandparents, but to a little kid, they’re like parents. He must have bonded with them. You can’t just yank a kid out of a happy home because you love him.”

      What did she know about it? “My goal is to keep him safe and happy,” Nick protested. “I’m questioning whether I’ve been fair about that.”

      She folded her arms. “You brought me along for my feedback, right?”

      “Yes. And?”

      “And I have the impression that you’ve been willing to stay on the fringes of his life if that’s what’s best,” she returned. “If he’s happy with his grandparents, why change now?”

      “I haven’t committed to changing anything.” Nick didn’t understand why she spoke with such fervor. “I’m afraid the Carrigans may plan to sue for custody, and they’re building a case that I’m a neglectful dad.”

      “And you’ll fight them for all you’re worth, no matter what’s best for your son?”

      He was growing more confused by the minute. “I assumed you’d be objective.”

      “I am!”

      “Then where is this coming from?”

      Her mouth opened, and quickly clamped shut. Busy transitioning onto another freeway, Nick allowed her space to reflect.

      “I suppose it would help if I knew more about the circumstances of Caleb’s birth and your relationship with his mother,” Zady said more mildly.

      “Good idea.” Nick recalled telling her that Bethany had died in a boating accident, but that left a lot of ground to cover. “About four years ago, I’d just finished my residency at UC Irvine and was working at a clinic in Fullerton, near where I grew up. When I met Bethany at a party, we clicked right off. Mutual attraction and all that.”

      “Hot sex,” she summarized.

      No point in dwelling on that obvious truth. “She was fun to be around.” Bethany had had thick dark hair, a merry laugh and, he’d discovered, a flawed sense of responsibility. “We dated for a few months. She told me she was on the pill, and I used a condom, too. Hey, I’m a doctor, not an idiot.”

      “The pill failed and the condom leaked?” Zady rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. In case you forgot, I’m a nurse.”

      “It turned out that Bethany only took the pill sporadically. But I’ll admit, I got careless, too. We were both responsible.”

      Even on a Sunday, there was a steady stream of cars and trucks on the road, but having a passenger enabled Nick to use the carpool lane. He accelerated onto a soaring single-lane overpass, swooping above regular traffic.

      “Having fun?” Zady asked.

      Taking the hint, he eased off the gas. “Too fast?”

      “I left my stomach back on the 55,” Zady said. “However, I appreciate the illustration of how you approach relationships—full

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