LITMIR.BIZ

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pulse stilled momentarily. I shook my head and blinked hard, just in case the sweat stinging my eyes had affected my vision.

      Nope, Zac indeed stood there, his arm still raised in mid-air where I’d caught him about to knock. He lowered his hand and smiled sheepishly. ‘Merry Christmas, Alice.’

      ‘What?’ I blurted. ‘I mean… Merry Christmas, Zac.’ I wiped my hands over my shorts then gripped onto the door handle as flames cooked me from the inside. At least I was already bright red from exertion. ‘This is…unexpected?’

      ‘Yeah.’ One corner of his mouth climbed higher than the other. ‘I was on my way to my folks and thought I’d come and say hi.’

      ‘I see. Well thanks, and hi.’

      Zac shuffled on the doorstep and darted a glance over my shoulder into the house. If he was waiting for the cavalry to come to his rescue, he’d have a long wait. ‘I also wanted to give you this.’ He revealed his other hand to offer me a small, carefully wrapped gift.

      ‘Oh.’

      ‘I can see I’ve disturbed your workout so I’ll let you to get back to it,’ he said, turning away and getting ready to leave.

      ‘No, no, it’s fine.’ I lunged and put my hand on his shoulder. ‘Do you—’ My voice died. What the hell was I doing, throwing myself after him?

      Zac looked from me to my hand on his shoulder. ‘Do I…’ he prompted, with one eyebrow raised high on his forehead.

       Fuck it.

      Now that he was here, offering me a reason to smile, no way could I let him go so easily. ‘Do you have to rush off?’

      ‘Nope.’ A grin spread over his face. ‘I’m not expected until one.’

      ‘Perfect.’ I stepped to the side and held the door open wide. ‘Would you like to come in?’

      ‘Thanks,’ he said, taking that all-important footstep. He paused in the hallway and frowned. ‘Are you on your own?’

      ‘Er…yeah.’ I closed the door, then set off for the kitchen. ‘I’m in work later anyway though. It’s double-time today,’ I said, as if that explained why I found myself home alone at Christmas.

      ‘Right.’ Zac followed close behind. ‘So what do you usually do on Christmas Day? Are you subjected to board games too?’

      ‘Um…yeah.’ I made a dash for the kettle. ‘Would you like tea or coffee? Or I have juice? Water?’

      ‘Alice?’ Two hands closed on my upper arms as Zac spun me around. His troubled gaze searched mine, seeing more than I’d intended to reveal and a whirling vortex opened beneath my feet.

      ‘Actually, do you mind waiting a couple of minutes while I jump in the shower? I don’t want to stink the place out.’ I shook off his loose grip, then bolted for the door. When I returned six minutes later, showered and dressed in jeans and shirt, Zac had made the drinks and taken a seat at the breakfast bar.

      Unaware of my approach, I watched as he stared out into the garden, only turning his head when he spotted my reflection in the glass.

      ‘Hey,’ he said, smiling.

      ‘Hey.’ Careful to avoid meeting Zac’s gaze, I eased onto the stool next to him.

      He slid the mug towards me. ‘I think I remembered it right.’

      ‘Thanks.’ I wrapped my hands around the hot mug, then took a sip. ‘It’s perfect.’

      ‘Great, I’m glad I got something right,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry about before.’

      ‘It’s fine,’ I lied.

      ‘Yeah right.’ He shot me the hitched eyebrow. ‘I scared you off before I could give you this,’ he said, offering me the gift again.

      This time I took it. ‘You really shouldn’t have.’

      He shrugged. ‘It’s just a little something.’

      ‘Thank you.’ I tore at the wrapping paper and discovered a little black book. A laugh launched itself out of my throat. Zac had a knack for that, making me laugh, and what was with the weird kind of calming effect he had on me? ‘You’re a swine. You know that, right?’

      ‘I do my best.’

      I met his grin. ‘So are you in here under Z or I, or maybe N?’

      ‘I’m not in there at all, actually.’

      ‘Oh.’ I stopped flicking through the blank pages and stared down at the front cover, buying time to disguise my confusion.

      ‘I don’t think I’m “black book” material, you see, it’s not the done thing for friends.’ The word shivered over my spine, only to be chased away by the unfamiliar warmth spreading from my chest.

      ‘Is that so?’

      ‘Uh-huh. I would like to trade numbers though, if you’re happy to?’ He held out his phone in one hand, then turned his other hand over in an unspoken challenge.

      I responded in kind, grabbing my phone from my back pocket, then I slapped the handset onto his upturned palm. Neither of us spoke as we keyed our numbers into each other’s phone, then traded back again but something had definitely changed.

      Of all the things I’d been given for Christmas over the years, Zac’s friendship ranked as one of the best gifts of all time, if not the best gift ever. We spent the rest of the morning chatting and drinking coffee but the time went so fast it was more of a blur. The clock in the hall struck twelve far too soon so Zac got going, setting off to his parents early to leave me to get ready for a double shift.

      Once the post-Christmas lull kicked in, the nagging inner voice inside my head refused to leave me alone. To drown out the constant drone, I hit the town and went out on dates every opportunity I got. Why have a little black book if it wasn’t going to get used? Never the same guy twice, I managed to dull the internal noise until it barely interfered with me any more.

      Valentine’s Day rolled around and, unluckily for me, I had the misfortune of being off work for the entire weekend. Short of begging to swap shifts or volunteering to work for free, I had no choice but to stay home and not because I was short of a date for the night; on the contrary, I’d been inundated with offers but I’d turned every single one of them down.

      Desperate to avoid all the lovey-dovey vomit-inducing crap, my revised plan involved a couple of action movies, a huge bag of salted popcorn and a giant slab of chocolate. I figured I might as well get an early night too, since the only man I wanted to spend the ‘most romantic’ day of the year with had to be in bed for seven o’clock on account of him being only four years’ old.

      If you asked me, Valentine’s was nothing more than a commercial money-grabbing gimmick anyway. Maybe if I ever fell in love with somebody I’d feel differently but, until then, I wanted no part of it. There didn’t seem any point in all of us being at home so I magnanimously offered to mind Charlie, hoping it would buy me some peace as well as bank some brownie points with Mum and Derek. Plus I loved spending time with the little guy.

      Derek actually made a point of thanking me but I didn’t know what to say. I ended up saying something incoherent as I headed out the door to collect Charlie so that they could pack and get going. My phone rang while we were out, with Derek calling to let me know they were off and to say goodbye to Charlie and already I felt calmer.

      Charlie and I grabbed lunch then stopped off for a kickabout in the park. Next stop was the supermarket on our way home to grab pizzas and garlic bread for dinner, and popcorn for my movie night. I’d just unlocked the front door when my phone rang again. I shepherded Charlie inside and answered without bothering to look at the screen.

      ‘Hey, what’s up, Derek?’ I said, following Charlie into the house. ‘Did you forget something?’

      ‘Er…hey,

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