LITMIR.BIZ

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      The hurt inside her was beyond bearing as she listened to what he was saying and it came forth in anger as she said tightly, ‘So nothing changes Gabriel? It’s still career first and family second.’ She glanced at the children, who were out of earshot. ‘Well, don’t let us stop you. Do dash off to wherever it is you prefer to be.’

      ‘Would it be all right to stay the night?’ he asked, with no answer forthcoming to her protest.

      ‘You shouldn’t need to ask!’

      The vestige of a smile was tugging at the corners of the mouth that had kissed her a thousand times in what seemed like another life.

      ‘All right, then,’ he said, adding with grim humour, ‘Just as long as the sheets are of Egyptian cotton. My bedding of recent months has hardly been luxurious, and if the house has a spare room, that will do fine’

      She turned away. How could he joke about something like that and at the same time make it clear that he didn’t want to sleep with her? With a change of subject she pointed to the food and said stiffly, ‘There is plenty to eat. What would you like to drink?’

      As he squatted down on the grass, with the children chattering one on either side, it seemed so normal that she could hardly believe that for what had seemed like for ever the only man she had ever loved had been serving a custodial sentence for grievous bodily harm because of what had been the worst day of her life.

      ‘I hope you’ll like the house,’ she said uncomfortably when they arrived at Swallows Barn with the children still on a high, having been driven home in Gabriel’s car.

      ‘If you are happy with it, that is all that matters,’ he said levelly.

      Sophie urged, ‘Come and see my room, Daddy!’

      ‘And mine!’ Josh said, and as the three of them went upstairs together Laura thought that Gabriel could tell the children that he wasn’t staying. She wasn’t going to be responsible for causing them any upset.

      When they were asleep after receiving a promise from their father that he would take them to school the next morning, an awkward silence fell upon the house until it was broken by Gabriel asking casually, ‘So what is the medical centre like in this place, Laura?’

      Was that all he could talk about, health care? But she answered civilly enough, explaining who was who and outlining her responsibilities.

      They’d passed the practice on the way home and he’d noticed that a new building was being erected on the large plot of land next to it and had wanted to know what it was going to be.

      ‘It is going to be a clinic that will be an offshoot of the main oncology unit at the local hospital,’ she told him. ‘All the staff at the surgery are very excited about it.’

      ‘Hmm, impressive forward thinking,’ he commented. ‘When is it due to open?’

      ‘Some time in the autumn if all goes according to plan.’

      But she had questions of her own to ask and they weren’t about health care. It was the first time she’d had the opportunity to ask him what it had been like being shut away from his life’s work at the hospital and his family, and was hoping that his reply would give her some degree of understanding of the stranger that he had become.

      ‘So what was it like in there?’ she asked gently, and watched his face close up.

      ‘It was a piece of cake.’

      ‘I’m not asking for mockery,’ she told him. ‘I want the truth.’

      It had been hell on earth being away from them, but he had brought it on himself. He must have been insane to think that Laura would have anything to do with the low life from next door, but seeing that creep with his arms around her had ignited a fury like he’d never known. Perhaps in hindsight his uncharacteristic behaviour had been amplified by his feelings of guilt over neglecting Laura.

      He’d flung himself at the man like a coiled spring and since that moment life had been totally unreal, but Laura was waiting for an answer and so, referring to the lighter side of his sentence, he said, ‘I worked in the prison hospital for most of the time, which provided some degree of job satisfaction, and had a constant stream of inmates queuing up outside my cell for advice regarding their health problems, true or imaginary, but the nights were long.’

      How long he couldn’t bear to tell her, with visions of her coping with the children on her own, and in the middle of it all moving house, which showed clearly that by the time he was released she wanted to have made a new life for herself.

      There had been indications that Laura wanted him to join her and the children in their new home, but he didn’t want to rush into anything. Things had been going wrong between them even before that terrible incident. There was no way he could sidle back into her life without having something to offer in the form of trust and understanding, and the reason for him returning to London the following day was connected with that.

      ‘And the rest of it?’ she persisted.

      ‘Not good in parts, but I had a debt to repay, didn’t I, Laura? And now I can get on with my life knowing that ghastly episode is over, that Saunders is fully recovered, and that you and the children are all right.’

      ‘And that is it?’

      No, it isn’t, he wanted to tell her. When you came to see me as a patient I had to accept that I wasn’t being fair to you. That I was guilty of gross neglect, and shortly afterwards I found myself believing that you were betraying me with that guy of all people, that you’d turned to him for comfort. I should have known better, of course, but I wasn’t thinking straight at the time.

      Instead he said, ‘For the present, yes. I’ll keep in touch of course and if you need me for anything don’t be afraid to ask.’ He looked around him. ‘Though you seem to be managing very well without me.

      ‘I sussed out the spare room while I was upstairs, so will get my case out of the car and settle down for the night if that’s all right with you.’

      ‘Don’t you want a meal first?’ she asked woodenly, bringing her mind back to basics, and when he shook his head a deadly calm began to settle upon her as the impact of his ‘don’t be afraid to ask’ comment took hold.

      In a measured tone she said, ‘Just a moment before you go. You said if there is anything I need from you I have only to ask?’

      He was observing her questioningly. ‘Yes, I did. So is there something?’

      ‘Yes. I want a divorce.’

      She watched his jaw drop and amazement darken the hazel eyes looking into hers, and then he said in a grating voice that was nothing like his usual upbeat tone, ‘So I was wrong. Am I still going to be paying for what I did?’

      ‘And you think I’m not?’ she said, doing her best to keep all emotion out of her voice. She could be just as coldly analytical as Gabriel if that was how he wanted things. ‘I wanted you home, but not on the terms you’re laying down in such a patronising manner. I’ve been living for the day when you were free of that place. But it seems that while you’ve had time on your hands you’ve been making plans that don’t include me, which makes me think that you still aren’t sure about how you found me in somebody else’s arms, so, yes, Gabriel, I want a divorce!’

      The strong lines of his face were set like granite as he turned and went out to the car without any further comment and when he came back inside she said, ‘Breakfast will be ready at eight o’clock and if you still intend taking the children to school, they have to be there for quarter to nine.’

      ‘Of course I’m going to take them,’ he said levelly. ‘I’ve never let them down!’ Like I have you, the voice of conscience said.

      Gabriel couldn’t sleep. Twice he padded quietly to where the children were sleeping and gazed down on them tenderly, but the door of the master

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