LITMIR.BIZ

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bakeries all up and down the east coast but there is something different in my mom’s version. I’ve never been able to place it. Maybe, it’s because she made them. The stairs lead into the kitchen. It has a light oak corner table with a bay window that my mom added some cushions to for extra seating. The windows are lined with a French chef scene. It’s not the standard chubby French Chef you would see at local retailer’s mass market produced. Instead it features a mime French chef with a beret dancing in the kitchen, he is dressed in white and black horizontal striped bow neck long-sleeved shirt with black tight pants, a red scarf is around his neck and he has a connoisseur mustache. At the stove is a glamourous female chef almost a cross between Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s with Nigella Lawson’s body. She is wearing a pink frock topped off with a string of pearls around her neck and is stirring a big pot of red sauce. Crimson text along the print of the white fabric reads “Toujours Cuisinez Avec Du Vin”, repeated throughout and it is framed by a crimson satin hem. The window treatment has varied over the years. Yet, my mom changes out the cushions with the season or theme. Today they are turkeys dancing with cornucopias on their heads. The pillows’ background has small writing that reads, “Do the Gobble Wobble.” Musical notes are dispersed throughout. Eating at the table is almost like being in a diner booth, with its closed-in, festive atmosphere.

      My mom is in her spot—the only actual chair for the table. She’s wearing her fuzzy blue robe with white clouds scattered across it. Her salt-and-pepper, wavy hair is parted to the side, held in place by two cow-face bobby pins. She’s drinking coffee out of her The Price is Right mug. She swears she made it on the show. I have searched the internet high and low and have never been able to find any evidence to prove this. Her Sudoku puzzle is spread out on the table. The lady loves her Sudoku and crossword puzzles. She has a bookcase in the office full of completed crossword puzzles. Last year my dad bought her a new bookcase for her Sudoku books. It already has two complete shelves. Ever since Bob Barker left The Price is Right she has quit watching.

      “Hi, honey. Did you sleep well?” Her eyes remain focused on her puzzle.

      “Pretty good.” I rub my back, wishing that were true.

      I’ve slept better, a lot better. The bed has the same mattress from my elementary days. That was at least fifteen years ago. The mattress definitely needs to be replaced, but I don’t think it’s a top concern for my parents. Especially since I’m the only one who ever sleeps on it. Although, I’m still not convinced of any possible Brian upgrading attempts.

      Maybe after my wedding they’ll get a queen-size bed with a new mattress. At least it’s what they did when both my brother, Luke, and sister, Megan, got married. A brand-new bed at my parents’ house as a wedding gift seems lame. I guess if I was getting married that would be the least of my concerns. I haven’t even had a serious boyfriend since Scott. I roll my eyes. What a waste of two years. I know hindsight is twenty-twenty, but you would think I was completely blind the entire time I was in a relationship with him. Of course it was a long-distance relationship and every time we reunited it seemed like we were a part of the theory of absence makes the heart grow fonder but in reality we really weren’t. I think the idea of a relationship was what I wanted but I wasn’t thinking clearly about the “who” factor. A warm body does not equate to a good mate. During an extended weekend get together I took an extra day off of work to make it a four-day holiday instead of three, and I realized how much I really did not care for Scott. I don’t think it mattered to him. Which was even more proving of the fact, we didn’t belong together and thus I ended it. This was almost a year ago.

      My dating life in Maryland has been non-existent. For one, I put in a lot of overtime at work. And two, it seems as if I’m only ever really aware of my single status when Brianna is dating someone and then I’m all alone sitting on my grey couch watching The Vampire Diaries on repeat. I imagine I’m back in high school and having to deal with two guys wanting to be with me. It’s always such a difficult choice to decide between Damon and Stefan, I usually end up choosing both. Ha!

      I reach for a mug from the cabinet. It’s my favorite cup to use when I’m home. I bought it for my mom at a garage sale a few summers ago. It reads “I’m Going Pecans” and has a woman sprawled across a pile of pecans, looking as if she has given up. I have yet to see my mom ever use it. On the counter rests the ancient coffee machine. My parents have had the same coffee machine for as long as I can remember. Though, it seems like I’m consistently having to replace my own. My dad would point out this is because “they don’t make things the way they used to anymore. Nope, it’s all a scheme to keep you buying more. More crap, I’ll say.” I try not to give him any type of electrical gear for presents, I would not want to hear about how it broke after x amount of times of using it. Nope, I stick to clothing for him.

      Where will the liquid sitting in the clear carafe fall on the coffee scale? My mom makes the weakest pot of coffee on earth, except for one of my friends from college who actually reused the grounds. Who does that? I like a strong, freshly ground brew with real cream.

      I pour the brown imposter into my mug and sprinkle in some non-dairy powder flakes. The flakes sit on top of the liquid staring back at me. I can almost imagine them laughing at me. The little flecks of white remind me of fish food. Just like fish food it would take a while for them to sink. I grab a spoon from the drawer and stir. Might as well make a like a fish and enjoy it, I definitely need the caffeine. I take a sip. Yup, I’m home.

      “Did you read Grandmother’s letter?” My mom puts her pen down and gives me an endearing, motherly once-over before she returns her gaze back to the puzzle. She picks her pen up and scribbles along her paper, making tiny whistle-like sounds with her mouth.

      I grab a fluffy blueberry muffin from the yellow plastic basket on the counter and take a big bite. My mom always lines bread baskets with a paper towel. Maybe this year I will buy her a fun bread basket towel for Christmas. This might even win points with Aurora because my mom will be able to reuse the towel instead of trashing it.

      “Yes. She wants me to make the pecan pie this year,” I say, hoping my mom might volunteer to help in some way. My mom is a Betty Crocker kind of cook, she bakes a bit, but doesn’t dance outside of the lines of standard homemade American fare from the 1950s era. Meatloaf, spaghetti, mac and cheese, casseroles, those are all my mom’s forte.

      My mom is engrossed in her puzzle. I take another swallow of the faux coffee. If this were bad wine, drinking enough would alter the taste. Unfortunately, there isn’t a level of consumption that will improve bad coffee. I cringe as the bitter liquid slides down my throat.

      “Oh, honey, that’s great.” She marks more on her paper. “Did she give you the sacred recipe?”

      “Yes, she did. I have to guard it with my life.” I pretend to do a karate move, chopping the air and kicking out a quasi-front kick that any sensei would shake their head at in disappointment. Fortunately my mom isn’t even watching, so my ungraceful move isn’t witnessed.

      “Where is it now?” Her gaze doesn’t leave the paper. This must be a tough one.

      “Upstairs.”

      “Hmm, I didn’t notice a security team protecting the stairs. Why don’t you go and get it and we can see what ingredients you’ll need.” She dots the paper with the end of her pen. No doubt she’s checking her work.

      After taking another sip of the brown water with a hint of chemically created cream, I head back to my room for the letter. I take the envelope out of my purse and fold the paper so that the recipe part is the only thing showing. The rest of the note is a little too personal for my mom to read. I place the newly creased paper into the envelope. I shake my head, and then walk down the stairs, trying to avoid the steps that creak the loudest.

      “All right. Let me go over these ingredients, so I know what I need to buy.” I take out the paper once again and hold it in front of me as if I’m announcing some great news. If I mess up this pie, this holiday will unravel and my family will never let me live it down. I bet my mom would even manage to snap a photo for the hallway as a permanent reminder.

      “Rude much? Lauren, can you

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