LITMIR.BIZ

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she took a step back.

      Jayson tilted his head in that way he did, as if she was amusing him. After all, she’d just told him she wanted to have sex with him and then she’d moved away from him. Who did that?

      “Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

      He said that to her anytime they were on the road and she would start to get ornery about when and where they were going to eat. He liked steak places, she preferred fried food. When it came time to actually decide on a place he would always ask her, “Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

      Her answer was always the hard way because that would make him groan and that would make her smile.

      Given the circumstances she didn’t think that was a very good answer.

      Sex and hard. No, she wasn’t really ready for that. She should probably tell him this would be her first time, but instinctively she knew that if she did that would freak him out. After all she was twenty-four soon to be twenty-five. Who stayed a virgin that long? Then they would have to talk about it, and he would be self-conscious about it and it would ruin the whole night.

      It made more sense to just do it. She adored Jayson. She was hot for Jayson. His kiss alone had aroused her more than anything she could remember in her life, and apparently she wasn’t the only one affected.

      “Let’s do this...the best way.” She took a step toward him and rested a hand over his heart. She could feel how fast it was beating and that made her smile. She had done that to him.

      Then he was kissing her again and once more she left her head and felt only her body. Her whole body when he pressed against her, her nipples when he lifted a hand to hold her breast, her belly when his erection pressed into her.

      It was perfect.

      Until it all went wrong.

      Present

      SCOUT WALKED IN through the kitchen and stopped when she saw Bob sitting at the table, drinking a cup of what she imagined was coffee and reading the paper. Her paper.

      “Hey, Scout,” he said casually without looking up from said paper.

      “Hello, Bob,” she said stiffly.

      “I just made a pot of coffee if you want some.”

      She did want some. She was exhausted. What Jayson had said about not sleeping was true. She was determined to stay away from the sleeping pills, though. For that first week it had been too easy to take them and wonder if she would never have to wake up again. Duff would have been furious if he knew she’d even entertained such thoughts.

      Which of course she didn’t. Not really.

      So she skipped the pills and dealt with all the stuff that was in her head keeping her up at night. Which meant at three in the afternoon she was about ready to collapse. A cup of coffee would go a long way toward getting her through the rest of the day.

      It was the idea of taking anything from Bob that stopped her.

      Although technically she had bought the coffee. So really it wasn’t as if she was taking anything from him.

      “Thanks,” she said in the same tone that she always used with him. She’d met Bob when she was fourteen. Had lived with him and her mother for nine months until they all realized it just wasn’t going to work out. So she knew to be polite and respectful because that’s how she had been raised.

      But hello, goodbye and thanks pretty much made up the bulk of any conversations between them.

      Except today she’d learned something about him. Something she’d never known. He’d served in the military. Not only served but actually made it to the level of a navy SEAL. She supposed it fit. Even for an older guy he was in super shape. Still, it never would have occurred to her to ask him any personal questions, so it’s not like the topic would ever come up on its own.

      Scout actively did not listen any time her mother even mentioned his name. He’d always just been Bob, the man her traitorous bitch of a mother left Duff for. Because of this man, her mother had hurt her father. It was probably odd that Scout didn’t blame Bob more. How did she know he didn’t seduce her mother? That her mother wasn’t some helpless victim in the face of Bob’s charm and physical appeal?

      She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything about their relationship. Only that there was one while Alice had still been married to Duff. Which was wrong. Except now she knew that Alice and Bob had known each other even longer than Scout realized.

      “Were you ever married before, Bob?”

      To say that his expression was stunned would’ve been an understatement. It might have been the first full sentence he’d ever heard out of Scout.

      “I mean before my mother...”

      “I know what you mean,” he said slowly. He folded the paper he’d been reading carefully as if he were afraid any sudden movements would send Scout running like a frightened rabbit.

      Scout was interested enough in the answer to sit at the table with him, her hands wrapped around her cup of coffee.

      “No, I never married before your mother.”

      “How come? I mean you’re a decent-looking guy now, so you were probably good-looking back in the day.”

      He smiled and when he did she could see that she was right. Bob had blue eyes and dark black hair peppered with silver. He practically wore the map of Ireland on his face. With his face and body he would have been a total babe.

      “I’ll take the compliment and say that this is a very strange day. You want the truth? The real story? Because you’re probably not going to like it much.”

      Scout shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but she did want the truth.

      Her silence was answer enough.

      “I never married anyone else because your mother was the love of my life. We were together for two years before I was called up on a particularly dangerous assignment. I thought, stupidly, that it would be easier if we weren’t together. If something happened to me, then she wouldn’t grieve as much. When I got back from my assignment, she was already with your father and had a baby. Finding someone else... I didn’t see much of a point. Then fate brought us back together somehow.”

      Immediately Scout’s back went up but Bob reached over to touch her arm.

      “Hold on. Hear me out. This is the closest we’ve ever come to a real conversation about this. I know you blame your mother, and your mother alone, for her marriage to your father ending. But you have to know what happened between us wasn’t some kind of sordid affair. We had history, your mother and I. And as much as it hurts you to hear it, she and Duff, they weren’t happy together. She didn’t understand his life and he wouldn’t change it for her.”

      It didn’t hurt to hear it as much as Scout thought it would. She’d probably been twelve years old when she had started to put it together that her mom and Duff weren’t exactly a happy couple. When Duff called from the road, he spoke to his daughters first, then he would talk to Alice. When he was home, all his free time was spent with his daughters.

      They never kissed in front of her, and they never held hands. They never went out, just the two of them. They only ever fought. About his schedule. His time away.

      “You’re a grown woman, Scout. It’s time you stop holding a grudge against your mother and let her back into your life. You need her. Now more than ever.”

      She looked at his stern expression and wanted to tell him he had no business advising her on anything. He was nothing to her but the man who had married her mother.

      A man who loved his mother so much no other woman had been able to take her place.

      “I don’t need anyone. Thanks for the coffee, Bob.”

      With that Scout left the kitchen and his advice

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