LITMIR.BIZ

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fluffy white bunny inspired such love she named it Teddy. (Tedros kicked it every time he saw it.) Even Agatha managed to teach her plucky ostrich how to steal candy without teachers noticing.

      Sophie, however, found herself with a chubby cupid named Grimm, with bushy black hair, pug nose, pink wings, and eyes that changed colors depending on his moods. She knew his name was Grimm because he wrote it all over Room 66 in her favorite lipstick the first day. On Day 2, he saw Agatha for the first time at lunch and his eyes went from green to red. Then on Day 3, while Yuba taught “Uses of Wells,” he started shooting arrows at Agatha, who leapt behind the Forest well just in time.

      “CALL THAT THING OFF!” Tedros yelled as he deflected Grimm’s arrows into the well with his training sword.

      “Grimm! She’s my friend!” Sophie shouted.

      Grimm guiltily put his arrows away.

      On Day 4, he spent all of Sophie’s classes grinding his teeth in the corner and clawing at the walls.

      Lady Lesso gave him a curious stare. “You know, by looking at him you’d think …” She gazed at Sophie, then brushed the thought away. “Never mind. Just give him a little milk and he’ll be more amenable.”

      The milk worked on Day 5. On Day 6, Grimm started shooting at Agatha again. Sophie tried everything she could to pacify him: she sang lullabies, gave him Dot’s best fudge, even let him have her bed while she took the floor, but this time nothing would stop him.

      “What do I do?” Sophie cried to Lady Lesso after class.

      “Some henchmen go rogue,” Lady Lesso sighed. “It’s a hazard of villainy. But usually it’s because …”

      “Because what?”

      “Oh, I’m sure he’ll calm down. They always do.”

      But by Day 7, Grimm started flying after Agatha during lunch, evading the grasps of students and wolves, until Hester’s demon finally subdued him. Agatha glared at Sophie from behind a tree.

      “Maybe you remind him of someone?” Sophie whimpered.

      But even Hester’s demon couldn’t control Grimm for long, and the next day his arrows came tipped with fire. After one of these singed her ear, Agatha finally had enough. Remembering Yuba’s last lesson, she lured the rogue cupid into the Blue Forest during lunch and hid in the deep stone well. When Grimm giddily dove down the dark shaft to find her, she clubbed him with her clump and knocked him out cold.

      “I thought he’d kill you,” Sophie wept after they sealed the well with a boulder.

      “I can take care of myself,” Agatha said. “Look, the Ball is less than two months away and things with Tedros are getting worse. We have to try a new—”

      “He’s my prince,” Sophie stiffened. “And I’ll handle him myself.”

      Agatha didn’t bother arguing. When Sophie was ready, she’d listen.

      While both schools went off with Castor and Uma to free their henchmen back to the Blue Forest, Sophie stole away to the Library of Vice.

      It took all of her will not to run out the moment she came in. Perched atop Vice’s top floor, the Library of Vice was like a normal library, only after a flood, fire, and tornado had swept through. Its rusty iron bookshelves were skewed at odd angles, with thousands of fallen books all over the floor. The walls were furry green with mold, the brown carpet was moist and sticky, and the room smelled like a mix of smoke and sour milk.

      Behind a desk in the corner was a gelatinous toad, puffing a cigar and stamping books one after one before tossing them on the floor.

      “Subject of interest,” he burped.

      “Love spells,” Sophie said, trying not to breathe.

      The toad nodded to a dank shelf in the corner. There were only three books left on it:

      Thorns, Not Roses: Why Love Is a Curse by Baron Dracul

      A Never’s Guide to Ending True Love by Dr. Walter Bartoli

      Foolproof Love Spells & Potions by Glinda Gooch

      Sophie threw open the third, ran down its list of spells until she found “Spell 53: The True Love Heart Hex.”

      She ripped out the page and fled before she fainted from the stench.

      Dot, Hester, and Anadil hunched over it during lunch. “‘Once a boy is under this spell, he will instantly fall in love with you and do whatever you ask,’” Anadil read. “‘Works particularly well with eliciting proposals of marriage and invitations to Balls.’”

      “All you have to do is mix the prescribed potion into a bullet and shoot it at your true love’s heart!” Sophie read excitedly.

      “It won’t work,” Hester crabbed.

      “You’re just mad because I found it.”

      Hester snatched a heap of letters from her bag. “‘Dear Hester, I don’t know of any love spells that work’—‘Dear Hester, love spells are notoriously dodgy’—‘Dear Hester, love spells are dangerous. Use a bad spell and you can warp someone permanently’—”

      “It’s ‘foolproof’!” Dot said.

      “Says who? Glinda GOOCH?”

      “I say it’s worth a try if it means we don’t have to talk about Balls and kisses anymore,” Anadil said, red eyes studying the recipe. “Bat heart, lodestones, cat bone … These are all standard ingredients. Oh. We need a drop of Tedros’ ‘scent.’”

      “How are we going to get that?” Dot said. “If a Never even gets near an Ever, the wolves are on us. We need an Ever to do it.”

      Agatha plopped down in a heap of pink. “What’d I miss?”

      Sophie only got five words out.

      “No! No spells. No hexes. No tricks!” Agatha scolded. “It has to be true love!”

      “But look!” Sophie held up the page and its painting of a prince and princess kissing at a Ball. The caption: “ONLY AUTHENTIC SUBSTITUTE FOR TRUE LOVE!”

      Agatha crumpled the page and dumped it in Sophie’s pail. “I don’t want to hear about it again.”

      Sophie spent the rest of lunch picking at her loaf of cheese.

      Two days later, Hester felt a jab in the middle of the night. She stirred to see Sophie standing over her bed, sniffing a blue tie with a gold T.

      “Smells like heaven. I’m sure there’s enough here.”

      For a moment, Hester looked confused. Then her cheeks swelled, ready to detonate—

      “What about a Villain’s Choir?” Sophie said. “I think that’ll be my second proposal as Captain.”

      Hester stayed up all night mixing the ingredients. Using her mother’s old crockery, she blended them into a frothy pink potion, distilled the love potion into shimmering gas, and poured the gas into a heart-shaped bullet over the fireplace.

      “Just hope he doesn’t die,” Hester growled, handing it over.

      Sophie practiced her aim for two days before she knew she was ready. She waited until Surviving Fairy Tales, when Yuba and the group were climbing trees to study “Forest Flora.” When Tedros reached for a blue hornbeam branch, she saw her chance and drew the bullet into her slingshot—

      “You’re mine,” Sophie whispered.

      The pink heart shot off the sling and flew straight for the silver swan on Tedros’ heart, only to turn crimson, ricochet off him like rubber, and smash back into her with a violent, alien scream. The whole group spun in shock.

      Sophie’s black robes were splashed with a giant, bloody letter F.

      “For

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