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Not only are they very cute, but they can help comfort Baby and provide a gentle light for those late-night feeds.

      5.The room should be well-ventilated, but try to keep Baby’s crib away from any possible draughts.

      A word on cot safety

      The crib should be painted with a lead-free product and preferably fitted with a new mattress and linen. It should also:

      •Be deep enough that your growing baby can’t climb out.

      •Not have steps or cut-outs in the headboard or footboard that could trap your baby’s limbs.

      •Have a space between bars of no less than 2.5cm and no more than 5cm; this will prevent your baby’s head from slipping between the bars.

      YOUR BIRTH BAG

      As your due date draws near and your excitement mounts, it’s a good idea to have your labour bag ready and packed. Labour progresses quite slowly at first, so although you could probably pack once labour begins, you may be so excited that you forget important items, and some things will need to be bought beforehand.

      For the labour ward

      These are the most useful items to take along to the birth facility:

      ✓A comfortable, loose T-shirt for labour

      ✓Tissues – one’s nose often runs during labour

      ✓Elastic hair ties for long hair

      ✓Socks to warm cold feet

      ✓Lip balm

      ✓Fruit or a fructose drink for a quick energy boost

      ✓A water bottle with a straw

      ✓A facecloth, for a refreshing wipe of the face and neck

      ✓A comfort item from home

      ✓A homeopathic remedy for improved labour

      ✓Relaxing music for labour and the postnatal ward

      ✓Stretchy disposable maternity panties and maternity sanitary towels

      ✓Nightclothes, slippers, gown

      For the postnatal ward

      ✓Bar of gentle rooibos or calendula soap

      ✓Deodorant and personal cosmetics

      ✓Breast pads

      ✓Cooling gel pads for overly full and tender breasts

      ✓Gel pad to ease discomfort in your perineum

      ✓Breastfeeding bras

      ✓Plastic bags for laundry

      ✓Clothes for Mom and Baby to come home in – one of your preggy outfits, as it will still take a while for you to trim down

      ✓A blanket to wrap your baby in on the way home

      The hospital or clinic might supply these items:

      ✓Sanitary towels

      ✓Breast pads

      ✓Disinfectant for cleaning your perineum (stitches)

      ✓Baby clothes for the duration of the hospital stay

      ✓Ice packs

      ✓Infrared lamps for easing painful breasts or perineum

      ✓Disposable nappies for Baby

      ✓Cotton-wool balls for cleaning the navel and umbilical stump

      ✓Surgical spirits to clean the navel

      ✓Basic cosmetic items like soap and deodorant for Mom

      ✓Cosmetics for Baby like liquid soap, shampoo, skin lotion, buttock cream and talc

      CHAPTER 10

      Pregnancy from a father-to-be’s perspective

      A pregnant woman is often the centre of attention and even complete strangers “oooh” and “awww” over her developing belly. Amidst all this attention, Dad may feel a bit left out.

      INCLUDING DAD

      Sometimes, to set this right, all it takes is to assure him of your love for and pride in him. Assure him that you consider him to be the best possible father for your baby. Here are 10 suggestions to help Dad feel included:

      1.Bring Dad to ultrasounds, doctor’s appointments and antenatal classes so he can see how Baby is developing and ask all his questions too. If he really can’t make it to the ultrasounds, bring a DVD back or give him a printout of the ultrasound.

      2.Decorate the nursery together. Although Baby won’t need it for a while after birth, this is a fun project to tackle together. Besides, dads are usually good at painting or wallpapering walls, assembling cribs and shifting heavy furniture.

      3.Dad may really enjoy going clothes shopping for Baby. Allow him to buy all those “My Daddy is the best” all-in-one suits.

      4.Read pregnancy books and magazine articles together.

      5.Give him a Father’s Day gift! He may not be a father just yet, but this will get him excited for when he is one.

      6.Pick out names together. This can be such fun; you can even turn it into a bit of a game.

      7.Allow him to bond with Baby: as soon as Baby starts kicking, allow him to feel and see your belly move. Encourage him to talk to Baby and introduce Baby to his favourite music.

      8.Make a birth plan together. Explain what you’d like for your birth and why, and be open to his suggestions too. Ask him how he feels about being with you while you give birth, and if he has any anxieties or questions, which you can then find answers for.

      9.Include him in your baby shower. This isn’t traditional, but times change and many women are starting to invite men to their showers.

      10.Ask him! Chat about what you can do to make him feel more included – he may have some fantastic ideas.

      TOUCH IS THE X-FACTOR

      A sure way to keep an expectant couple in touch with each other’s feelings and love, is for Dad to massage Mom, and vice versa. A massage is such a simple thing to do and it has a powerful effect with so many benefits. And yet there is often a lot of mystery and fear about massaging expectant women. While there are certain precautions to be observed, touch therapy has been used safely for thousands of years in many cultures, with techniques passed from one generation to the next. The most important thing is to get started.

      This section has some important pointers for Dad to help ensure he can confidently massage his partner – who will no doubt be suitably impressed and may even return the favour, within the physical limitations of her pregnancy.

      1.Benefits of pregnancy touch techniques

      A lot of research has been conducted over the last two decades and it’s now clear that massage reduces the rates of prematurity as well as pregnancy and postnatal depression, helps relieve the aches and pains of pregnancy and improves sleep patterns. You will feel comforted, relaxed and cherished too. If you have a high-risk pregnancy, you can still profit greatly from a few general touch techniques, but if you would like a full-body massage, rather use a trained therapist.

      2.Top massage tips

      The best positions are lying on your side, sitting comfortably facing and leaning onto the back of a chair, sitting on or kneeling on the floor while leaning over a birth ball or leaning forward with your arms or hands resting on a table. Then, Dad can try a few of these techniques:

      •Neck and shoulder massage – simply do it, Dad, and follow Mom’s

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