Doctor Scratch and Other Plays - Noël le Breton

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the one that—you know about it—

      Bloodgood

      What?

      Loveless

      The business we spoke about together?

      Bloodgood

      When?

      Loveless

      Huh—several times.

      Bloodgood

      Where?

      Loveless

      Several places.

      Bloodgood

      I don’t know what it is.

      Loveless

      About your daughter’s marrying me.

      Bloodgood

      Oh, is that all? I thought you meant something else. About that? You know I’ve given my word. You’ve only to choose the day. Rest at ease. You are the master of that business.

      Loveless

      I’m obligated to you. But, have you taken the trouble to speak to your better half?

      Bloodgood

      No, but I give you her consent. She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little reason into a woman.

      Loveless

      I don’t doubt it.

      Bloodgood

      Actually, I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crossed me, I would make her see how stupid she is. But, thank heaven, I don’t have to trouble. In a word, my wife does everything that I wish.

      Loveless

      Decide, if you please, which of us will speak of it first to her; it’s a propriety I ought to observe, for, as you know, the ladies are jealous of their littler prerogatives.

      Bloodgood

      Willingly, and to get on with it, I am going to bring her here.

      (Exit Dr. Bloodgood into the house.)

      Loveless

      Well, Martin? What do you say to that?

      Martin

      Everything’s going fine, and I’m very easy because of your father-in-law.

      (Enter Dr. Bloodgood with Augusta.)

      Bloodgood

      Wife, here’s our good friend, Mr. Loveless.

      Augusta

      Ah, I am his servant, and delighted to see him.

      Bloodgood (low to Loveless)

      It will be more becoming if you speak first.

      Loveless (low to Bloodgood)

      You begin, then I’ll follow up.

      Bloodgood (low)

      You can explain better than I.

      Loveless

      Not at all. Besides, reason dictates that you should open the subject.

      Bloodgood

      It’s up to you to take the first step.

      Loveless

      I’ve done it for you, and you ought to predispose her before I speak to her.

      Augusta

      At least, tell me what you’re squabbling over, and why you brought me here.

      Loveless

      A mere bagatelle.

      Bloodgood

      Wife, it’s our friend Mr. Loveless who asks for the hand of our daughter in marriage.

      Augusta

      And for whom?

      Loveless

      For me, madam, but under conditions which cannot be disagreeable to you. Doubtless, at first blush, my age would give you some repugnance to the idea—but, when you know, madam, that I will make you a fine settlement on your daughter, and that I will take her without a dowry—and that your husband has already given me his word—I dare to hope you will be as kind.

      Augusta

      All these matters are very weighty—but your age, sir, does not agree with my daughter’s, and one often sees young women who make such marriages fall into disorderly conduct. The caresses of an old man are not meant for a young woman: in fact, they create an antipathy, and we see even nature itself revolt. Thus, to avoid these possible disgraces to my family, you will appreciate why I refuse to give my consent.

      Loveless

      But, your husband has given me his word.

      Augusta

      I believe it, but obviously he hasn’t considered it carefully, for if he had, he would be—doubtless—of my opinion.

      Loveless

      Sir, you know you promised me.

      Augusta

      I believe, as I said before, that he did promise Olivia to you—but he can de-promise her to you—for believe me, it won’t happen.

      Loveless

      Sir, a man of honor ought to hold to his word. Didn’t you promise your daughter in marriage to me?

      Bloodgood

      Hey—all that is true—

      Augusta

      Well—if he promised her—I did not. And that’s enough.

      Bloodgood

      Wife.

      Augusta

      Hey—my God, leave me alone. I know very well what I’m doing.

      Bloodgood

      But, it’s necessary—to keep one’s—

      Augusta

      It’s necessary not to make such glib promises. One more time, it’s never going to happen. And, your arguments couldn’t be worse than they are. Goodbye, sir. Get it in your head that you will never marry my daughter.

      (Exit)

      Augusta

      Sir?

      Bloodgood

      What do you want?

      Martin

      She’s submissive to my will—and I know how to deal with her if she makes any difficulty: I am a man who knows how to inject a little sense into a woman. I’d like to see her puff up in front of me. If she crosses me, I’d make her see how stupid she is. In a word, my wife does everything I wish.

      Bloodgood

      You are an impertinent!

      Loveless

      Indeed, Martin’s right. And, this is the speech you made to me before we spoke to your wife.

      Bloodgood

      True, but we must be patient. It’s not necessary to get carried away right from the start. Sometimes one ought to temporize. I promised you— All right, leave it to me.

      Martin

      All right, leave it to him. He’ll spoil everything. My word, you’d better believe the words of the wife, and not those of this gentleman. You can see quite clearly that she is the sole mistress and master.

      Bloodgood

      You don’t know what you are saying.

      Martin

      No, but I know you will

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