SeVeNtHiRtY - TL Banks

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      Thank you very fucking much Lee, Ed, Nathaniel, Andrew, Doug, Jason, Albert, Kerry, Jamelle, Chris, Geoff, David, Earnest, Khary, Steve, Kent, Tommy, Kevin and Logan.

      At one time or another my 'crazy' was either born, raised, fed, ignored, loved, stalked, assaulted, hated and/or abandoned by each one of you.

      Thank you all for your contributions to my skin tone, my stretch marks, my night terrors, my lust, my anger, my suicide attempts, my bankruptcy, my genius, my regret, my weight fluctuations, my shame, my irrational behavior, my black outs, my sex toy collection, my stint on anti-depressants, my longing, my fear, my pregnancy, my 72 hour psych ward hold, my sadness, my codependency and most importantly, my art and its by product, my strength and beautiful son.

      

       Behind every great woman is the bastard that forced her to stand up for herself.

      Your purpose has been served.

      Sincerely,

      Me

      

      Other Books by TL Banks Pixie's Last Summer The Minx Drunk Talk Lascivious Musings It's Never Over Licking Wounds Feeling Zaffre Savage Lamentations * Whatever Happened to Pixie Prince?

      For access to current blog posts, links to buy books, articles, story limbs, poetic musings and the like, visit me at:

      Desperatelydespicabledrivel.com

      tlbanks.weebly.com

      https://www.thisismorpheus.com/author/tl-banks/ @queenrudenation

      OCD- Chum Sector Solution 25mg

      Delightful ribbons and lacy bows

      cover the box where you belong

      but you keep seeping onto the table

      and taking my cleaning after all wrong

      You’re fucking up the packaging

      Making the carrier’s edges soft

      I rush to repair and readily re-wrap

      but you keep peeling your labels off

      The more I that try to mend

      The more your dumb ass tries to escape

      so I say fuck the whole presentation

      and throw your entire casket away…

      Codependency-Arrested 30mg

      With everyone else I think:

      I’m so fucking tired of sending pictures to online strangers especially since nobody is fucking interesting at all. They just want to inspect every inch of your body like its a fucking modeling audition just to have a cup of coffee in public and meeting them is pointless, since no one has one intelligent or thoughtful comment to bring to a casual conversation. They are all disposable human beings, pathetic Polaroid pawns…. And then with him I think: A hundred and nineteen of his words later and I’m shaking. Each one, crafted with a chisel Each one, a poisonous pin prick- I’d do anything; for more I’d crawl for more I’d give all of my money I’d plead for more I’d cry and break glass whatever it could take or would to just get one more word from his lips one more’maybe’ I’m a child and a fool one more ‘no’… He doesn’t see me I’d do anything, I have no regrets But his absence- And yet A mere twelve hours of silence later and I’m shaking still, trapped. Each thought, self manipulation Each thought, his to control…

       He may not even be that great, I know. But he has never asked me for a picture. He just took a chance that my mind had something worthwhile in it… and now, I’m addicted.

      Melancholia- Tipp City Tourist 40mg

      Just because a chopped down tree doesn’t scream bloody murder

      Just because you can’t see the tears of the fish on the hook

      Just because the dead leaves are beautiful in an autumnal yard fire

      Just because a lobster’s skin is so bright after it’s boiled

      Just because I’d rather write it down to get it out instead of tell you to your face

      Doesn’t mean that you didn’t break the little heart that I had left.

      Stockholm's- Alee 50mg

      Normal Men

      Rape one another.

      They lie with malicious intent

      They steal and castrate

      while ravaging the entire earth

      with no thought of remorse outside of

      the rightness of revenge

      Torture, demolition, hostility

      Violence, retribution happen every second

      of every day

      in every corner of our world

      Normal Men

      Shoot and stab one another.

      And because the frequency is common

      It is normal Destruction, hatred, aggression are being committed by Oppressive Normal Men in shadows and in the light so often that no one is sensitive to it anymore And because the fervency with which Men destroy Men remains consistent It is as normal as birth Normal Men are the parents and children of Monsters in every generation of our existence. They manipulate for personal gain Normal Men murder one another. They judge with death and scoff at life They bring endless pain in a circular fashion and leave it rotating in their wake. So I am curious, As just another normal man- about what would it cost us and what we could become if we decided all at once and suddenly To be abruptly abnormal and live outside of our current averages and against our own total self destruction….

      Avoidant- Release of Lien 55mg

      Tell me that you hate me.

      Tell me to get lost, tell me to scram, tell me to kick rocks.

      Tell me that I completely suck as a human being.

      Tell me that you never wanted me

      that you never loved me

      not even a little bit, even if you have to lie.

      Tell me something devastatingly cruel

       that you know that you can never recover from

      so that I can begin to heal and forget all about you.

      Make it easy on me, baby.

      Break me hard.

      Destroy me fast.

       Lie.

      Erotomania- The Losers 75mg

      I wish that I was making this shit up because if it were fiction then I could be considered to be a brilliant writer. But all I am is a scribe, retelling actual events that I couldn’t invent if I tried to. It’s a story about love. But there is no one in love in the story.

      I have a severe addiction to a boy.

      He is the best worst thing that I have ever known.

      A boy who has no intention, whatsoever, in reciprocating any emotional connection in any way that does not serve him. Its what I like the most about him.

      He has been busy, living his life, doing what young people do, and I have done everything in my power in the past two months to get his attention. And finally, he was available. I was shook, I didn’t think he’d ever see me again so in order to make the experience

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