LITMIR.BIZ

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thinking of using—? (“us”)

      JANE: No. No, of course not.

       (Then:)

       I could if you—

      MARIAN: Please. No. Don’t.

      BENJAMIN (To Jane): I don’t understand what you are saying.

       (They all look at him.)

      BARBARA: Jane’s writing a book, Uncle.

      BENJAMIN: I heard that. I just have amnesia; I’m not an idiot.

      RICHARD: The book’s about etiquette.

      MARIAN: How—we talk to each other.

      BENJAMIN: And that’s an interesting book?

      JANE: I hope so.

      BENJAMIN: How people talk to each other? Don’t we know that? Won’t that just seem boring?

      JANE: I hope not.

      TIM: Jane’s come across a number of interesting historical kinds of manners. That are very—revealing, she thinks. Things people did—customs—I’d never even heard about. I’m not sure what they say about us—

      JANE: Maybe nothing. Maybe something.

      RICHARD: What do you mean, “historical”—?

      TIM (To Jane): Where’s that book you found? You had it in the car.

      BARBARA: What book?

      TIM (Getting up): I’ll get it from the car.

      JANE: Tim—

      TIM: They’ll be interested.

       (Tim heads off through the kitchen and outside.

       Pause.)

      BARBARA: A whole chapter about people having dinner? Now I’m going to be self-conscious for the rest of the evening.

      JANE: I promise you, Barbara, there are no hidden cameras, and all iPhone microphone apps are off.

      BARBARA: Good.

      JANE: No one is listening.

      MARIAN (To Barbara): What did she just say was off?

      BARBARA: I don’t know.

      BENJAMIN: What are we doing?

      RICHARD: We’re waiting for Tim. He’s going to read something to us. Something that’s very very interesting.

      JANE: Don’t build it up.

      BENJAMIN: Who’s Tim?

       (The others look at each other.)

      RICHARD: Tim is Jane’s new boyfriend.

      MARIAN (Hesitates, then to Jane): He doesn’t look at all like your husband.

      RICHARD: He’s younger.

      MARIAN: He looks a bit like you, Richard. There’s a definite resemblance. (Smiles)

      JANE: Why are you smiling?

      MARIAN (To Benjamin): Tim’s an actor, Uncle Benjamin. But I’ve never heard of him.

      JANE: He’s been in a lot of shows. When do you go to New York anyway?

      MARIAN: I teach.

      JANE: I know.

      MARIAN: I do the books for Adam’s lawn business.

      JANE: I know.

       (Short pause.)

      BARBARA (To Jane): What does that say?

      JANE: What?

      BARBARA: What does that tell you? What you two just said to each other. You said you could analyze—

      JANE: Nothing. It tells you nothing. Not everything does, Barbara.

      BARBARA: I am so self-conscious now.

       (Tim has returned with a book.)

      TIM (The title): Bundling. We found this in a funky bookshop in Livingston. In a barn for about seventy-five cents. What?

      MARIAN: We were talking about you.

      BARBARA (To Jane): When did you go to Livingston?

      JANE: I don’t know. (To Tim) A couple of days ago?

      BARBARA: I thought you didn’t have a car until . . .

      JANE: We borrowed one. We went to a bookshop. For my work.

      BARBARA: If you’d already borrowed a car, you could have also come here.

      RICHARD (To change the subject): How old is that book? It looks very old.

       (Tim opens it and looks.)

      TIM: “1871.” They didn’t know what they had.

      MARIAN: And you didn’t tell them? They’re trying to make a living.

      TIM (He keeps going): It was published in Albany.

      RICHARD (To Barbara, teasing): “And fuck Albany and . . .”

      MARIAN: What?

      TIM: It’s all about bundling.

      JANE: I’m now thinking of doing a whole chapter on bundling.

      RICHARD: What is—?

      BARBARA: I think I know—When a man and a woman—

      TIM: Here. There’s a definition: “Bundling: a man and a woman lying on the same bed with their clothes on; an expedient practiced in America on a scarcity of beds, where, on such occasions, parents frequently permitted travelers to bundle with their daughters.”

       (It sinks in.)

      RICHARD: What??

      BARBARA: That’s what I thought it was.

      RICHARD: I’ve never heard of this.

      BARBARA (To Richard): I have. (To the others) I have.

      TIM: It says this definition is from The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. It’s sort of—pornographic, this book.

      RICHARD: Let me see—

      JANE: It reads like some sort of bundling “rule book.”

      MARIAN: May I see?

       (Tim continues to look through the book.)

      TIM: How you weren’t supposed to take off all your clothes—you kept on your underwear.

      JANE: And even what happens if the woman gets pregnant.

      BARBARA: What happens?

      TIM: The man’s “obliged” to marry her. And if he doesn’t and doesn’t “abscond,” then he’s excommunicated.

      JANE: So the church seems to be involved too.

      BENJAMIN: Are there any pictures?

      TIM: No.

      JANE: Read them the poem, or song, or whatever it is.

      MARIAN: What poem?

      JANE (To Tim): It’s toward the back . . .

      TIM: Here it is . . .

      JANE (To the others): Sh-sh. Listen.

      TIM (Reads):

       Since bundling very much abounds . . .

      JANE: It’s from the very late 1700s.

      TIM (Reads):

       . . .abounds

       In many parts in country towns,

       No doubt

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