Howard Barker: Plays Nine - Howard Barker

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/ WARDROBE: (In unison.) YOUR FINGERS SHONE / YOUR SHINING FINGERS /

      (WARDROBE ceases, but SISI completes the article.)

      SISI: HE SAYS YOU FRIGGED MY MOTHER /

      (SISI collapses in a spontaneous and delighted laugh.)

      He still / oh blessed / blessed / boy /

      WARDROBE: I still /

      SISI: You still /

      WARDROBE: (Sharing her pleasure.) I do like still /

      SISI: When everything stinks /

      WARDROBE: Including you /

      SISI: When all things stink / including me / how wonderful is still / still / still /

      (The SOLDIER enters, discreetly.)

      BIBLE: (Feeling his exclusion.) Finish the story / Sisi /

      SOLDIER: The Captain says /

      SISI: Does he? /

      BIBLE: The story of the little hearts /

      (WARDROBE fetches SISI’s bag, the sight of which fills BIBLE with despair.)

      DON’T GO / SISI /

      (SISI accepts her bag from WARDROBE. BIBLE transforms himself, adopting a tone of casual indifference.)

      Thanks for the picture of your arse /

      (Feigning indifference, BIBLE strolls over to the canvas bed and flings himself onto it. He smothers himself in his arms and wails.)

      I’m dying / I’m dying of my love for you /

      (SISI frowns, gazing at the wretched spectacle which is BIBLE.)

      SOLDIER: The Captain says /

      WARDROBE: Quite / and if she stays a minute longer /

      SOLDIER: I’ll be thrashed /

      WARDROBE: It’s true / he will be /

      BIBLE: (Ranting now.) DYING / DYING /

      (SISI gazes on WARDROBE, who smothering a rising dread, places his forehead to hers before propelling her with a mild shove towards the SOLDIER. SISI departs to the accompaniment of BIBLE’s ranting as he shreds the photographs in his fists. At last his rage subsides.)

      THRASH: Men die for arse / for arse like that / they die /

      WARDROBE: You should know /

      THRASH: I do know / some died for mine / so I don’t disparage Mr Bible /

      WARDROBE: (Going to the wrapped violin.) Me neither /

      (Instantly he repudiates.)

      I do / I do disparage it /

      (He starts to tear off the wrapping.)

      I disparage it / whilst simultaneously conceding the possibility of some greater design concealed in it / admitting therefore its status / if not as a paradox / as a conundrum / notwithstanding which /

      (He flings the paper aside.)

      I deplore the fact that arse has / does / and always will / humiliate intelligence / there is nothing in this case /

      (He is briefly still.)

      Possibly intelligence requires to be humiliated / it’s empty / on a regular basis / humiliated / ridiculed / even annihilated / the animal and the spiritual conducting a mutual discipline without which /

      (He is silent. Then he lifts the case between extended fingers.)

      Or if there is something inside it’s /

      (He barely shakes it.)

      It’s not a violin /

      (BIBLE sits up.)

      BIBLE: Don’t open it / Wardrobe /

      (WARDROBE remains kneeling with the violin case held aloft.)

      Don’t open it because /

      (WARDROBE looks at BIBLE.)

      Because the Emperor has a sense of humour /

      WARDROBE: We have established that /

      BIBLE: We have / and this sense of humour is not / I think we also have agreed / of a sort that might be described as innocuous /

      WARDROBE: Not innocuous / no /

      BIBLE: No / and could not be satisfied with / to take an idea more or less random / leaving the case empty /

      WARDROBE: That certainly would be innocuous /

      BIBLE: It’s worse than that /

      WARDROBE: Worse / yes / or if not worse /

      BIBLE: Different /

      WARDROBE: Different / yes / for example /

      BIBLE: (Inspired.) It might explode /

      WARDROBE: Explode? / that’s different / certainly /

      (He scrutinizes the violin case.)

      BIBLE: (Developing his thesis.) As you undid the catches / the catches would detonate the charge / not a massive charge / perhaps / but adequate to / say / tear off your hand /

      WARDROBE: That’s scarcely innocuous /

      BIBLE: Not in the least innocuous / no /

      WARDROBE: To spoil the hand of a violinist / neither innocuous / nor subtle /

      BIBLE: Not subtle / no / is the Emperor subtle? /

      WARDROBE: Yes /

      BIBLE: (Incredulous.) Subtle? /

      WARDROBE: Yes / oh yes /

      BIBLE: Is he? / are we talking about the same man? /

      WARDROBE: (Crossly.) SUBTLE IS THE EMPEROR / YES /

      BIBLE: Notwithstanding he sends me photographs / grotesquely enlarged / of Sisi’s cunt / and Sisi’s arse / still you say he’s subtle /

      WARDROBE: (Patiently.) The subtlety of the gesture you are referring to lies /

      BIBLE: (Fuming.) And when my darling happens to say / I miss my poet / my very own poet /

      WARDROBE: Not in the scale / or the indecency / of these photographs /

      BIBLE: Thrusts her on a filthy train / with neither water / nor a change of clothes / that’s subtlety / is it? /

      WARDROBE: But in revealing the ambiguity of the tenderness you / and all men / possibly / entertain with regard to the object of your passions /

      BIBLE: SISI IS NOT AN OBJECT /

      WARDROBE: (Throwing up his hands.) Oh /

      BIBLE: NOT AN OBJECT / NO / AND THERE IS NOTHING WHATSOEVER AMBIGUOUS IN THE FEELINGS / ANY OF THE FEELINGS / I ENTERTAIN FOR HER /

      WARDROBE: You are lurid /

      BIBLE: Am I? / am I lurid? /

      WARDROBE: Lurid and / I hate to say it /

      BIBLE: What? / What do you hate to say? /

      (WARDROBE hesitates.)

      SAY WHAT YOU HATE TO SAY / WARDROBE /

      WARDROBE: Doomed /

      (BIBLE opens his mouth to retaliate but cannot. He stares. WARDROBE senses the extent of the damage but does not have the resources to repair it. THRASH goes towards him.)

      THRASH: Give us it /

      (WARDROBE seems oblivious of the fact he is holding the violin case.)

      The violin / darling / I’ll open it outside / if it blows my hand off / never mind /

      WARDROBE: (Gazing at her.) You are neither young / nor talented /

      THRASH: Neither /

      WARDROBE:

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