LITMIR.BIZ

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a beach. I can barely get Lily in the forest. Our beaches and forests around here are indescribable but Lily would rather be at the mall at Forever 21.

      We know what the “Bees” say about us. What everybody says about us. Loners, losers, and the other L-Word.

      Yeah, I love Lily. Deeply. And nothing can, or ever will tear us apart. We’re not L-Word and we’re not losers. But we are loners. We just like it that way because there’s so much less drama and pretending. We already have to pretend so much being vampires. Pretending to like vampires that we don’t is asking a little too much. And basically, we don’t like any vampires. Well… family we’re okay with.

      I’m more of a loner than Lily. A lone wolf in a world of my own making. When I get in those loner moods, I wish she would understand, it doesn’t mean I don’t love her, it just means I want to be alone. Lily unfortunately doesn’t understand my personal loner moods and she’s never gotten used to them. She gets hurt emotionally easily. Now I use her mild hurt as a source of amusement-- I know, I’m bad. Don’t we all have a little bad in us? Luckily, her hurt quickly washes out to sea as fast as the night tide.

      REDWOODS. (again)

      Haha! Keep up now, we are traveling at lightspeed through my head.

      I love to climb to the top of the tallest redwoods and look out over God’s domain. I admit I feel like a god looking over her domain when I’m up there. I could easily scamper up to the top in seconds, but I take my time. Sometimes I just sit on a big branch halfway up and watch the activities on the forest floor.

      DEER. (again)

      Deer interest me the most. I know, what can I say? I’ve got a thing for deer. I love to see the whole family: the strong buck, the graceful doe, and the cute fawns. The perfect family-- just like mine. NOT.

      Sometimes I wish we did live back in the forest, taking life by the moment, in God’s entire splendor. I could be with my friends, the redwoods and the deer, all the time.

      I think (the redwoods) love this time of year as well. It’s rest after a long summer. It can’t be easy being a giant. They are the largest living beings on the planet. They always have been, and always will be, until the end.

      I can jump straight up and get a good thirty feet above even the tallest redwoods. I’ve used them over the years to gauge my jumping abilities. I think I’ve peaked out.

      On a fog-filled day it’s so cool to jump above the fog. There’s nothing like it. It’s a different world up there. Only the tallest, proudest, oldest, redwoods peak above the fog and mist as they lord over all things. It would be so cool to be able to step out on that layer of fog and take a long walk. One can only dream-- if I could dream.

      THE SEA.

      The sea is wild and frenzied this time of year. Is the Pacific the best of the oceans or what? The wind on the coastal cliffs and at the shoreline swirls and blows on my face, moving my heavy hair to and fro. I can sit or stand completely still yet feel like I’m dancing in the air as if the wind has lifted me on its wings. I love how it all feels, and smells. It makes me feel alive. It tells me there is a God.

      GOD. (no doubt)

      God is everywhere-- in the wind, the moon, the stars, the seas, the trees, the birds and bumblebees. Without God in my life I would be lost. I could not find my way through the pain. I could not deal with what I am. What my place is on this planet in the grand scheme of things. I could not look into the mirror and be okay with being me. Okay with my being a vampire. The rest I have to deal with myself. It’s just a part of life.

      Random thought alert! A bumblebee isn’t supposed to be able to fly you know, but it does.

      Vampires aren’t supposed to exist, but we do. There has to be a reason God made us.

      If you ever doubt in the existence of God, just do what I do-- sit in the breeze on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. No way that you can deny the existence of God if you do that just once.

      MY LIGHTHOUSE.

      My favorite place is the lighthouse on Seal Island. It’s my heaven, my peace-- my true rock of life that I can always go to when I need to deal with life’s issues or to speak to God. (Or just to chill)

      There were lots of seals on the island before the lighthouse was built a century or so ago. Now there’s only a few. My Indian friend told me his people (Yurok Indians) used to hunt the seals on the island before the lighthouse came. What was their land for centuries became property of the U.S. government. And that was that. The construction of the lighthouse scared the seals away, and the keeper’s dogs and the big bright light, kept them away for good.

      Everything changes with progress I guess. Some changes are not so good. When the seals were gone, so was an important part of the Yuroks way of life. It was one of the last important things to be stripped from them and with it the way of life they knew had almost completely vanished.

      Here I am though using their loss as my sanctuary. I guess I’m sorry for the loss, but in this instance their loss is my gain. Life is complicated and strange the way things work out. I'm just one little vampire trying to maneuver my way through it. I do what I can about things I can do something about and that's all I can do.

      I go to the lighthouse after the old keeper is asleep. He’s actually more of a maintenance person as the lighthouse doesn’t operate as a lighthouse anymore. Technological progress has made it obsolete. The big modern aerodrome beacon strobe light is turned on, only for special occasions. Beginning of the crabbing season, the Christmas festival, things like that. The lighthouse is but a historical monument now.

      This time of year it’s closed to the public so I can go just about any time. The old keeper mainly stays in his quarters down at the foot of the lighthouse. I take a good leap from the shore dock and land on the walk-about near the top. If it’s windy, I have to leap harder and can’t control my body as much, so I’ll aim for the pinnacle on the top which I latch onto. Then I slide down the copper roof and land right on the walk-about. No one even knows I’m there.

      It’s so peaceful there atop the lighthouse, even when the wind is roaring. The peace is inside of me. God speaks to me and reveals His magic to me. During these times I feel like he did this all just for me. He’s given me my own planet.

      I’ve almost been caught by the old keeper once when he came to clean the light lenses before an event. If he ever saw me, he’d think he only imagined it. It would seem like I vanished like a ghost I’d be gone so fast. It’s an easy jump to the ground for me, then a quick run on the dock to build my momentum, and a leap to shore.

      It’s getting colder as we’re nearing the winter solstice. But it doesn’t matter to a vampire. Not this level of cold. Our blood runs so fast within our bodies it generates heat. It has to be close to twenty degrees Fahrenheit before we begin to really feel it enough that we need a coat. Some vampires wear coats even when they don’t need one. They use them as a fashion statement or symbol of power. They’ll put up with the discomfort to be able to stand out, or say “Look what we can take you little wussy vampires.” They are very in your face. I hate… I dislike these vampires. No… I actually do hate them!

      KILLER BEES.

      I really do not like them from the top of their blonde heads to the bottom of their pedicured feet and everything in between. They take “in your face” to whole different level. There are three of them. Three creatures from hell. I do mean HELL!

      You rarely see the Bees out of their Canyon Heights COUGARS cheerleader outfits. Cheerleaders of all things! Where’s Buffy when you need her?! Come to Crescent City, Buffy, I’ll buy your ticket!

      Nadira is the Captain; Alina and Tara co-captains. That sucks royally! They get to be the ones calling all the shots. That means they are out in front on all the routines and they are at the top of the pyramid. As if they need any more attention. AHH!

      You’ll hear me talk about the “Bees” a lot. They are my nemeses in all things in life. Most of it caused by them just existing and going to the same

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