Fully Coherent Plan - David Shrigley

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      BUT NO NAILS

      LOTS OF HAMMERS

      NORMAL BEHAVIOUR

      NEW KNOWLEDGE

      CHAPTER TWO

      REQUIREMENTS

      FOR LEADERSHIP

      CHARISMA

      DIFF

      ERENT OPINIONS

      SPEECH MAKING

      DO NOT PLAN

      FROWN

      DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT

      WITH THE AUDIENCE

      SPEAK AS QUIETLY AS POSSIBLE

      SPEAK QUICKLY

      DO NOT PAUSE

      SHOUT OCCASIONALLY

      AND WITHOUT REASON

      USE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE

      WATCH RECORDINGS OF YOUR SPEECHES

      REASONS

      UNNECESSARY

      YOU MAY PROCEED WITHOUT THEM

      SOCIAL WIND

      I BLOW INTO TOWN

      I RUIN EVERYTHING

      THEN I GO AWAY

      I AM GREATLY RESPECTED

      HE WILL HELP US

      I AM MAGNIFICENT

      I AM SO BLOODY MAGNIFICENT

      PRAY FOR

      COMPETENCE

      IF YOU HAVE ANY GOOD

      IDEAS PLEASE PUT THEM IN MY HEAD

      DO WHAT YOU WANT

      IS THE KING A FOOL?

      YES

      YES

      YES

      YES

      YES

      YES

      SAVE THE WORLD!

      I CAN'T

      SAVE THE

      WORLD

      FUCK

      YOU

      ALL!

      I'M ON TOP OF IT

      DO NOT

      SHOW

      YOUR

      BRAIN

      EVERYTHING I DO IS RIGHT

      MESSAGE :

      I AM THE MESSAGE

      EXIT

      ENTRANCE

      CHAPTER THREE

      INFRASTRUCTURE

      DEAR LORD

      PLEASE PROTECT THE FRAGILE

      GLASS VESSELS AND DO NOT

      ALLOW THEM TO FALL AND

      BREAK.

      AMEN

      BUILD THE DOME

      IT WILL PROTECT US

      THIS IS THE TREE THAT

      I FELL FROM

      WINDOWS

      EVERY BUILDING MUST HAVE THEM

      EXCEPT DUNGEONS

      WALLS

      CONTINUOUSLY BEING PAINTED

      BRIDGES

      CHRONICALLY UNDERFUNDED

      OFTEN CLOSED

      THE SEA

      DO NOT GO IN IT

      THERE ARE JELLYFISH

      USE OF ROBOTS

      THEY SAID A ROBOT COULD FEED THE CAT

      BUT THE CAT DID NOT LIKE THE ROBOT

      AND THE CAT LEFT

      AND NOW THE ROBOT IS REDUNDANT

      WEASELS

      IMPOSSIBLE TO GET RID OF THEM

      IT CANNOT BE DONE

      IS THERE

      A WAY TO

      GET RID OF

      THAT PLANET?

      NO.

      NOT REALLY

      PLACES OF WORSHIP

      THEY KEEP POPPING UP

      SEEMINGLY OVERNIGHT

      AND THEN IN A FEW DAYS THEY ARE GONE

      IT IS AS IF THEY HAD NEVER BEEN THERE

      THE

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