Get It! - Jacqueline Laurita

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      Positive self-talk takes practice, but used regularly, it has the power to boost your confidence as well as your chances of achieving the success you are capable of having and do deserve.

      And if you don’t yet have the precise skills you need to go after what you want? There isn’t much that is beyond your capability to learn. So get to it. Learn what you lack!

      YOU FEAR FAILURE

      It feels safer to give up than to attempt a challenge. But by not trying, you are, by default, preventing yourself from reaching your goals.

      The only way to get past this fear is to push through it. Try starting with smaller lower-stakes goals to help build your confidence. Whether you succeed or not, facing your fears and overcoming them—and seeing that even if you do fail, the attempt was still worthwhile—will leave you feeling braver and more empowered to face larger challenges.

      Sometimes the best way to get past a fear of failing is to think through the actual consequences of failing—and of failing to try! Frequently, what happens if you do fail isn’t as scary as it first seemed. Ask yourself:

      

What do I imagine would happen if I failed? And then what? And then what? Why do those things scare me?

      

How would I feel if I never attempted to reach my goal? Would I have any regrets? Would I be disappointed in myself?

      You can change your perception of failing by viewing failure as part of the process of learning. Think of failure as an opportunity to grow and evolve as an individual.

      YOU FEAR SUCCESS

      To some of you, a fear of success may sound silly. Maybe you’re thinking, “Who wouldn’t want to succeed?” But you’d be surprised at how common it is. Many people are afraid of what happens if they achieve success. They’re afraid they will somehow screw it up and won’t be able to maintain it. They’re afraid they may disappoint others or themselves, or that others in their life will respond to their success negatively.

      Just as in the previous section, ask yourself:

      “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

      —Theodore Roosevelt

      

What do I imagine would happen if I succeeded? And then what? Why do those things scare me?

      Replace these negative fears with positive thinking; list all of the reasons things can and will work out the way you want them to. Achieving success takes a lot of planning, hard work, effort, perseverance, and sacrifice, and you deserve to feel good about your accomplishments, not be afraid of them!

      YOU LISTEN TO THE NEGATIVITY, DOUBTS, AND OPINIONS OF OTHERS

      While other people can often provide you with valuable advice and perspective, believing in others’ opinions over your own—especially when those opinions are negative—can leave you discouraged.

      “You’ll always miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

      —Wayne Gretzky

      Avoid or limit your time with people who bring you down or derail you from accomplishing your goals. It doesn’t matter what anyone else believes about you or your ideas; it matters how you feel about yourself and what you are trying to achieve.

      YOU FEEL SAFER PUTTING OTHERS’ NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN

      Women in general tend to be trained from birth to be caring and nurturing to those around us, usually to the detriment of our own needs. Because of this, it often feels safer to fall back on this role than to work toward things you want for yourself.

      Stop attending to others’ needs as an excuse to neglect your own. Learn when say “no” to the other people in your life and start saying “yes” more often to yourself!

      YOU ARE EASILY DISCOURAGED BY A MISTAKE OR SETBACK, OR WHEN YOU ARE NOT SEEING THE RESULTS YOU WANT FAST ENOUGH

      Sometimes things just don’t come easy. You need to accept that you will need to put in the work to get what you want . . . and just go for it. Take it day by day, and keep the momentum going forward. Keep reminding yourself that you are one day closer to your goal than if you had chosen to do nothing at all.

      “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”

      —Benjamin Franklin

      Even when you make a mistake, it does not mean that you will never be good or successful at what you are trying to do. Try to view your mistakes as opportunities to grow and learn. Dissect what went wrong. If needed, take responsibility for your mistakes; don’t blame others or make excuses, or you will only repeat the same mistakes in the future. Instead, ask yourself what you could have done better, then regroup and take action to do things differently going forward.

      How to Fight Procrastination

      Procrastination, whatever the cause, is usually the main thing keeping us from achieving our goals. To leave procrastinating in the dust, stop making excuses as to why you can’t get things done and start focusing on all the reasons that you must make them happen! Stop thinking about why you can’t do something and start figuring out ways you can. Be proactive and start NOW!

      Other ways to help overcome procrastination:

      

Break down tasks into smaller pieces that are easier and quicker to achieve.

      

Put a time frame on what needs to be done. Give yourself a deadline!

      

Focus on the positive rewards of accomplishing your goals.

      Some Ways to Stay Motivated

      Even with all those obstacles out of the way, sustaining motivation can be hard! Here are a few tips for maintaining your drive over the long term:

      

Use a system of rewards and consequences to keep yourself focused.

      

Research inspirational success stories of people who have been where you are and/or have accomplished something you are striving for.

      

Seek out mentors who inspire you and model the qualities, skills, capabilities, and expertise that you desire.

      

Surround yourself with positive people who support and encourage you.

      

Remind yourself of the resources you can draw on to help you achieve your goals—whether that’s your own skills or the advice of others.

      

Read or listen to self-improvement books/audiobooks or inspirational/motivational CDs or DVDs.

      

Track your progress. Checking things off of your list

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