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Slaves to Fortune. Tom Lanoye
Читать онлайн.Название Slaves to Fortune
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781642860535
Автор произведения Tom Lanoye
Жанр Юмористическая фантастика
Издательство Ingram
It didn’t stand a chance and was dragged along, tug by tug, once almost choking, to the renewed merriment of Mrs. Bo Xiang, who, after the Obelisco, now pointed annoyingly at the animal. Chinese people point at absolutely everything, Tony sighed. Except other Chinese people.
The girl with the dogs bobbed off into the crowd and disappeared. Mrs. Bo Xiang shook her ornamental porcelain head and snickered something in Chinese. Tony nodded without asking what she meant. He was just glad she was still enjoying herself. The first attraction he’d wanted to take her to—a guided tour of the Teatro Colón, one of the largest opera buildings in the world—turned out to be closed due to a union protest. In front of the entrance, a delegation of enraged comrades was making a racket with cowbells, panpipes, Inca drums, and firecrackers. What was it with this city and its cacophony? He apologized to Mrs. Bo Xiang, but she seemed to find the carry-on quite normal, even enjoyable, as though Tony had planned it all. She radiated happiness. Perhaps, Tony shuddered, she sees it as an homage to her communist origins. He quickly coaxed her away, before she got it into her head to go and shake the hands of the entire delegation of strikers, or hand out money to them. That woman was capable of anything.
She willingly let herself be guided away on his arm, smiling gratefully. He was almost convinced he could hear the layer of foundation cracking.
Her good humour stayed afloat even in the graveyard, a few hours later, when it turned out that Tony had made a mistake. Evita Perón was buried somewhere else.
He should have known. It had taken them half an hour to get there. Taxis were so cheap and so abundant here that the chauffeurs were all too eager to misunderstand you so that they could rack up a few extra kilometres. Or was it a genuine misunderstanding? Tony had asked for ‘the cemetery with the famous dead people’ because he’d forgotten the name of the neighbourhood. Perhaps the driver had liked music more than politics when it came to cadaverous heroes.
There was no lack of heroes in this sweeping boneyard: a genuine park with broad lanes, each one cobbled, each one bordered with graves that looked like miniature houses. They even had windows and ornamental doors—mausoleums custom-made to the dimensions of an extinct bourgeoisie. All of them built in the most flashy of materials, from marble to granite, topped off with a frieze of angelic hosts or a bust of the departed. The richest had had themselves anchored full length to the world they should have left behind. Fossils of bygone glory and self-importance. There were soldiers, eternally saluting in their dress uniforms of bronzo bombarda, and there were musicians, seated on chairs with bandoneons on their knees, frozen in everlasting ambiance. Nostalgia on a pedestal.
The undisputed high point was the grave of Carlos Gardel, Tango King, singer-songwriter of ‘Mi Noche Triste’ and ‘Volver,’ not to mention skirt-chaser, chain-smoker, and patron of Café Tortoni. He went down in a plane at the age of 45. His massively attended funeral disrupted traffic for an entire day. And that was in 1935. Tony remembered it all from his Michelin guide. He had still managed to hit a goddamn tourist jackpot!
And indeed, Mrs. Bo Xiang stood happily admiring the statue. Behold the eternally youthful, perpetually singing dandy, flaunting a bow tie and the smile of a Latin lover. He stared haughtily over their heads at the graves on the other side of the path, shining as though he had just been polished. There were fresh bouquets at his feet, and the wall behind him was adorned with copper plaques and enamel tiles covered in sayings, expressions of gratitude, and love poems written by admirers, most of whom had been born long after their idol’s plane had crashed. Someone had threaded a white carnation through his bronze buttonhole. A real cigarette butt smouldered between the brownish-green fingers of his right hand.
Mrs. Bo Xiang got her compact red titanium Sigma camera out of her Louis Vuitton, peered through the lens, and gestured frantically with her free hand for Tony to stand closer and closer to the statue. She wouldn’t calm down until he had climbed up onto the knee-high tomb and posed next to Gardel, mirroring his stance, right down to the cigarette in his left hand. Her gadget chirped like crazy—she had chosen an electronic bird sound for each snap. She had already taken shots of Tony at the gate of the Casa Rosada on the Plaza de Mayo, and next to the colourful houses on the Caminito in La Boca.
‘You look exactly like him,’ she crowed now.
Without breaking his pose, Tony shouted back that all Westerners were as alike as peas in a pod. To his irritation, Mrs. Bo Xiang didn’t contradict him. No, she sank laboriously to her knees, so that she could take a picture of him and his doppelgänger from below.
Tony surveyed the boneyard as though it were a battleground. His headache finally seemed to be abating. He liked this peace and quiet. It made him long again for the sea, with its unbounded horizon. Three hundred and sixty degrees of nothing, as far as the eye could see. He missed the calm of the lengthy journeys on the cargo ships and cruise boats on which he’d been able to pass more than twenty years of his life unnoticed, sometimes with hard labour, sometimes with paid services of another kind, but always with total independence and a consoling insignificance. He had learned to live like a nomad, a compulsive tramp, a stowaway without a destination, and that life had suited him well.
He had left behind his home country with a bitter kind of pleasure. He went back sporadically just to keep the mass of paperwork at bay. What good are roots anyway, except as a way of wangling a valid passport? He had burned all his other bridges, starting with the frayed rope ladders that could have taken him back to his once-promising youth. He had nothing more to do with the scum and the provincial backwater that had spat him out. The spitting out was mutual. No one asked after him anymore; no one had anything to do with him. It felt like a kind of recognition. Tony had once been brought up to be successful, loved, an exemplary human being. He had become none of the three, and he flaunted it the way a fisherman shows off his catch.
His father’s legal practice, sold to a complete stranger? Good riddance. He may have been cheated out of his inheritance, but that was just one less thing to worry about. His only motto was one he’d hated as a child because his family had professed it so sanctimoniously, though he’d given it a different turn. ‘Live in the shadow, you’ll live happily there’ had become ‘Live in the shadow, less shit will rain down on you there.’ He didn’t need any other principles or tenets than that. He had learned to love emptiness, the overwhelmingly infinite world which surrounded his home soil like a desert around a sewage cover.
A man has to feel at home somewhere, even if it’s in the void.
‘Please concentrate!’ Mrs. Bo Xiang cried, her free eye shut. ‘And look at me!’ She kneeled down on the cobblestones before her idol, and it wasn’t Gardel. ‘Smile!’
Tony looked at the family standing behind her, waiting for her to finish taking pictures. He saw himself through their eyes. A hooligan with his feet on a beloved tomb, a barbarian posing next to a titan as an equal. The father of the waiting family coughed for the third time. He tightened his fists around the handles of a wheelchair in which an old man with a razor-sharp mouth and two cataract-filled eyes sat muttering away. The mother exhorted her two plump daughters, each of them blushing and holding bunches of flowers in her hand, to be patient. She didn’t raise her voice but her face spoke volumes. The encyclopaedia of scorn.
Mrs. Bo Xiang didn’t notice. She carried on taking pictures. No angle was too bizarre for her. She didn’t quite go so far as to lie down on her side. Tony felt more and more ridiculous, and not