LITMIR.BIZ

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behind him.

      “Who’s that?” Chuck asked.

      The fat kid said, “I told ya he wouldn’t recognize me.”

      He tipped his mask back. It was Putzie’s brother, Little Lee.

      “What’s he doing here?”

      Dale said, “My ma says we gotta ditch David.”

      Little Lee grinned and said, “So he asked me instead.”

      “Well, I’m unasking you.” Chuck shoved him off the side of the steps. Lee fell on his back in the grass and cried out.

      “Look, it’s a talking blob.”

      Dale said, “Leave him alone.”

      Chuck put his mask on. “Anybody sees us, you tell ’em the ­farmer’s with you.”

      Dale pulled his mask down over his face.

      Little Lee said, “I live in the same house you used to.”

      Chuck said, “Yeah, but I moved when I heard the farmers were coming to town.”

      They skipped Little Lee’s house because Chuck said he wasn’t wasting his time on cheap farmer candy.

      Little Lee said, “Banana chews ain’t cheap.”

      “Maybe not to a farmer,” Chuck said, and ran ahead of them to the Pflugers’.

      Mr. Pfluger was a beekeeper, so the Pflugers gave away Bit-O-Honeys every year. Chuck hollered, “Trick or treat,” and when Little Lee and Dale came up on the porch behind him, Chuck stepped in front of Little Lee so it looked like Chuck and Dale were together and Little Lee was by himself. Mrs. Pfluger wore a black and yellow bonnet with antennas. She said any monsters that wanted treats from her were going to have to show their faces.

      Chuck pushed up his mask and grinned.

      Mrs. Pfluger dug a Bit-O-Honey out of her apron pocket and said it was good to see him in the neighborhood again. He thanked her and jumped off the porch.

      When Little Lee lifted his mask she said, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” He told her he was Leroy Van Vonderan from the house next door. Mrs. Pfluger said, “That’s right, the farm family,” and gave him his candy bar.

      On the sidewalk, Chuck told Little Lee to keep his mask down and if anyone asked who he was to say he was the mystery guest. Dale told Little Lee he could say whatever he wanted. Chuck said, “Remember that when the kids at school hear you been out trick-or-treating with farmers.”

      The house next to the Pflugers’ was Evelyn’s. Dale said they should cut across the street and go back up Ontario, but Chuck said if they ran past fast enough they could cut through Legion Park to the Kolbs’ and nobody’d see them.

      Little Lee said, “What if David’s looking out the window?”

      Chuck said, “We’re wearing masks, stupid.”

      “He was with us when we bought ’em, stupid,” Dale said.

      Chuck said, “I ain’t so stupid I hang out with farmers.”

      Little Lee yelled, “I ain’t a farmer!”

      Suddenly the Schmidts’ front door creaked open; all three of them jumped behind the bushes next to the Pflugers’ porch.

      David came out of the house carrying a big white bowl, held the door open and set the bowl in front of it so it wouldn’t close. The bowl was full of candy. David came to the bottom of the steps and stood there looking in the direction of Dale’s house, his hand over his eyes. He kicked at the frozen grass for a minute, then went back in the house.

      Dale said, “He’s looking for us.”

      Little Lee said they should go before David came back.

      Chuck told him to shut up.

      Little Lee said, “It smells here.”

      “Yeah, like manure,” Chuck said,

      Dale whispered, “Shut up,” and clamped his hand over Little Lee’s mouth as David came back out carrying a jack-o’-lantern so big he couldn’t get his arms all the way around it. He dropped the jack-o’-lantern against the door next to the bowl and came back down to the sidewalk, looking up and down the street this time. He was wearing long underwear dyed red and had a devil’s mask tipped back on his head. His sister came out of the house in beat-up yellow pajamas, a mouse mask around her neck. She took a piece of candy from the bowl, unwrapped it and ate it. David came back to the steps and sat at the bottom with his back to her.

      Laughter broke out in the dark. David looked up. Connie scrambled down the steps and past him to the sidewalk. A big girl ran out of the park chasing a smaller girl; both were wearing duck masks. They ran past Connie, giggling, and on to the Pflugers’ porch, hollering “Trick or treat!” and collapsing against one another. Connie came back to the steps.

      David said, “Your friends ain’t coming.”

      Connie said, “Neither are Chuck and Dale.”

      “Chuck and Dale ain’t babies.”

      “They’re assholes.”

      “You don’t even know what an asshole is.”

      Connie climbed past David and sat down next to the candy. The ducks left the Pflugers’ and ran off down Ontario Street, passing Aunt Jemima and the president’s wife coming from Little Lee’s. The president’s wife saw David and poked Aunt Jemima. Aunt Jemima threw her hands up and screamed. They ran past David and Connie and vanished into the park.

      Little Lee pulled Dale’s hand off his mouth and said, “I ain’t spending Halloween under a porch.”

      Chuck muttered, “Why not? You probably spent last Halloween in a barn.”

      Little Lee raised his voice, “I did not—” but Dale clamped his hand so tight around his mouth that Little Lee gagged.

      Dale whispered, “Shut up or I’ll rip your tongue out!”

      Little Lee’s eyes got wide behind Dale’s hand. He nodded his head up and down fast. Dale rook his hand away. Little Lee started to whisper he wouldn’t do it again, then there was another noise on the Schmidts’ porch and they all turned to look.

      “Holy cripes,” Chuck whispered.

      Evelyn was standing on the porch in a purple house dress, her hair in pin curls, a cigarette dangling from her lips. Loose skin hung from her arms, and her legs were like sticks. She said to her kids, “Where are your friends?”

      David said, “What do you care?” He was staring through the railing at the Pflugers’ bushes.

      “Don’t you play smart-ass with me. I’m not in the mood,” Evelyn said and undid one of her pin curls. She ran the hair between her fingers, then nudged the candy bowl with her foot and said, “If you’re going to sit there, you can hand out candy while I take down my hair.”

      David said, “Nobody wants our candy.”

      “And I suppose that’s my fault.”

      David turned to look up at her, his mouth hanging open.

      Two little ghosts and a pumpkin-head came running out of the park. Evelyn reached down for the candy bowl.

      “Don’t,” David said.

      Evelyn picked her way down the steps between Connie and David, the candy bowl shaking in her hands, and reached the sidewalk as the ghosts and the pumpkin-head ran across the street. She took a handful of candy from the bowl and held it out to them.

      The ghosts and the pumpkin-head froze when they saw Evelyn blocking their path. She raised the handful of candy, and when they didn’t move to take it she said “Happy Halloween” in a shaky voice. The pumpkin-head screamed, then

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