LITMIR.BIZ

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disarray. He wore a holey t-shirt, baggy shorts, and flip-flops.

      “Well, well, well, look who’s here,” he said to Rusty. “And with the only student I’ve had some respect for, too. Callahan, how have you been?”

      “Busy,” I answered. “Will it ever let up?”

      “It’s got its ups and downs,” he said.

      “It’s had a lot of downs lately. But it’s still busy. You haven’t talk to Strict lately, have you?”

      “I stay to myself down here. I don’t take just any case. They know when to call me. I used to take a few calls up in the desert but I haven’t gotten any lately. Maybe I have you to thank for that.” He took the last chair and Cody handed him a plate, fork and knife. Cody went to the refrigerator, pulled out a can of Bud Lite and handed it to Chase. He popped the top with one hand. “So, what have you done that’s interesting, lately?”

      “How much of the news have you seen?”

      “None. I try to pretend the news doesn’t exist.”

      “Well, that wasn’t the most interesting thing I’ve done lately anyway. I was sent on an afternoon’s search that turned into a three day track. We had two rainstorms that nearly wiped the trail. It was slow reading and tough terrain.”

      “You find your man?”

      “It was a fourteen year old girl but yeah, I finally found her. Last news we had of her she was doing well.”

      “That’s good, I guess. I’ve developed a cynical attitude towards these searches. Sometimes I think stupid people should pay the consequences.”

      “What kind of cases do you take then?”

      “I like to do clean up work. Rid society of people who plague it.”

      “They should have called you on this latest raid then. I tracked two guys up out of a canyon, well, one of them left the canyon. When I got up top there was only one trail. The other guy was down in the canyon. The guy that made it to the top was tracked down and the apprehension was made.”

      “And the guy in the canyon?” Chase asked.

      I looked at Rusty. I couldn’t say it. I just couldn’t tell them about it and then it all came back to me. I’m surprised I didn’t jump when the shot went off in my head. I bolted from the table and ran up to the attic.

      After a while I heard footsteps on the stairs but it wasn’t Rusty. I’d know his footsteps anywhere. It was his dad. I sat on the balcony, my feet hanging off the edge, legs through the wrought iron rail surrounding it, hands tightly gripping the supports, trying not to cry, trying even harder now that Bill was beside me.

      “How long ago did this happen?”

      I swallowed hard trying to control my voice, “Two weeks ago.”

      “I don’t want to sound cruel, but I’m glad this is tough for you. We see it the other way too often, where it’s a macho thing to be able to bring down a man. It should never be easy. But if it’s the right thing to do there’s nothing you can do about it, and in the canyon it was the right thing to do. Everybody downstairs knows that. You’re allowed to mourn for criminals, too. I’m glad to see you’re one of those who does.”

      “I don’t even know who he was.”

      “It doesn’t matter. He was a person and every life is precious. Don’t let it be any other way.”

      “Did you tell Rusty that the first time he…”

      “I even told him that before he became a cop. I told him that when we was six and wanted to be a cop. And as I tried to get him to value life I also told him that some day he’d find a life so precious he wouldn’t want to let it go. And when he discovered that life he should hold onto it with all his heart.”

      “He has. I haven’t made it easy for him but he listened to you, and he did what you said.”

      “I know, I could see it in his eyes when you came out of the mine.”

      He came and sat with his feet hanging off the balcony too.

      “Thank you,” I said, “you’ve been a good dad for Rusty. Nobody else could have stuck with me through the things he has. He has been nothing but patient and kind even when I fill his life with grief.”

      “I doubt he sees it like that.”

      “The first time he saw me I was in danger. I’d been carjacked by a bank robber. I’ve been stalked by a crazy murderer and attacked by animals. I’ve been in a car wreck and an avalanche. Seems like every time I turn around something bad happens to me and Rusty takes it all in stride. I don’t know how he does it.”

      “How do you do it?”

      “I’m too busy dealing with whatever happened to worry about myself. I just do what I can whether it means running or stalling or fighting or hiking for the Jeep. When Rusty proposed I almost said no. In a way I did, but he was crushed and I couldn’t stand to see him like that. I just thought it wasn’t fair to put him through all the trouble that happens to me. But then, when I saw his response, I knew he’d be there whether we were married or not. I knew putting any more distance between us would only hurt more. So I said yes. And I love him with all my heart... I feel like I’ve doomed him. But I’ll try, I’ll really try to stay out of trouble.”

      Just like Strict and Schroeder, he had that look about him. It was a mixture of sadness and wonder. They seemed to wonder how an innocent looking kid like me could cause so much trouble. They worried about what that might mean for the future, for their jobs. And yet they always sat back and marveled as I came through each and every crisis that befell me. Now I saw that same look on Rusty’s dad and he had barely met me.

      “Since I graduated from academy things have been better. An emotional roller coaster, but better. The mine was rough on Rusty. You know the story from the news. It was easier for me. It was just a dark camping trip with a kid for me. But Rusty’s had a hard time with it. That’s why we came here. We both needed a break. He needed to do something fun. We went to the beach today and had a blast. That was good for him. I could see the worry fading away while we were at the beach. He needs more days like that.”

      “How does Rusty respond when you have these things happen to you?”

      “While they are happening he does everything by the book. He knows the drill. Afterwards, when we are finally alone, he just needs to hold me close. He says he just needs to…”

      “…feel you be alive,” he said, finishing my sentence for me.

      “Yes, exactly.”

      “I used to have the same response when I was in uniform. Something would happen, a bad car wreck involving a woman, or a violent crime against a woman, and I’d come home and just hold Bev and be thankful everything was really still okay. I didn’t know it wore off onto Rusty.”

      “Maybe he just takes after you.”

      “Maybe. Are you ready for round two of dinner? Come downstairs and tell the family a little about yourself.”

      The mood was rather subdued when we got downstairs. Nobody knew how to act. Everyone was still sitting around the table, just talking until Bill and I walked in. I took my plate, microwaved it, then sat down and started eating again, waiting for the conversation to begin.

      “Cassidy, I’m sorry,” Chase said.

      “There’s no need to apologize. You were just making conversation. I’m sorry I reacted badly.”

      “So,” said Bill, “tell us a little about yourself. Where did you grow up? Do you have any family?”

      So I told them about growing up on a quarter horse ranch, raised as a boy, hunting, tracking, camping, cowboying.

      “I can rope, flank and tie a calf almost as quickly as the

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