Somebody Should Have Told Us!: Simple Truths for Living Well - Jack Pransky

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Second, it is often helpful to see through the eyes of what others have gone through.* Third, when we become involved in a story we temporarily forget about ourselves and, paradoxically, have a greater chance of having new insights about ourselves. I know that sounds odd, but it’s true. Also, this book contains some repetition. I attempt to say the same things in different ways because it helps the new take hold. Each chapter is meant to build on those before it.

      

In this book I use some terms for which others have their own definitions, such as Mind, Consciousness, Thought, wisdom, Health, principle. It would be wise to temporarily set aside your own definitions. I explain what I mean when I use these terms. In many places throughout this book I capitalize some of these words when I am meaning the universal, instead of the personal.

      

The stories in this book are not meant to be an illustration of how to do counseling based on this inside-out approach; they only represent how I worked with these people at that time, for better or worse. Today I may do it differently. But the results speak for themselves.

      The state of mind everyone wants for themselves is there for the taking. My hope is this book will help you find the peace you deserve, the peace many are now finding for themselves.

      So sit back and relax, absorb and enjoy. It won’t do any good to analyze it or try to figure it out. Wisdom comes from the opposite: the uncluttered grace of a relaxed mind.

      Jack Pransky

      Cabot, VT

      January, 2005

      * Note: I have changed the names of some people in these stories, at their request.

      I felt an explosion of energy inside me. It was impossible that positive self-esteem has always been there and was just covered by negative thoughts!...I could not believe that for the past ten years I have been reading books on self-help, taking seminars, spending lots of money and time and never found an effective way to address the self-esteem problem. I could not believe that it could be so “easy.” Feelings of astonishment, incredibility, shame, anger, guilt, relief ran through my whole body... I felt so relieved and full of hope that I could breathe again, but at the same time I was mad. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?

      -- Maribel

      Somebody should have told us! How come nobody told us?

      How come nobody told us how we truly function as human beings, psychologically and spiritually? How come nobody told us how our experience of life is created—how we create for ourselves joyful or miserable lives, peaceful or stressful lives, beautiful or depressed or angry lives?

      Why? They didn’t know!

      Our parents didn’t know. Their parents didn’t know. Our teachers didn’t know. Our mentors and role models didn’t know. It’s nobody’s fault. If they knew they would have told us.

      Most everyone would like to live with more peace of mind, less stress and better relationships. The problem is we’ve been pointed in the wrong direction.

      Most self-help books, personal growth seminars and even most counseling and psychotherapy have not told us that peace of mind, little or no stress and naturally fulfilling relationships are already within us—our natural state—and how we’re only getting in our own way. The most helpful direction for us is not what we can do but what we need to see that allows what is naturally within to flow through us unencumbered

      Currently, few people have this perspective. Those who do live happy, healthy, fulfilling, productive lives. However, anyone can gain this simple, yet powerful understanding—because it’s part of us already! We just don’t realize it—yet.

      When we see how something really works and see its usefulness we can use that thing to our advantage. If we don’t, we’re either at its mercy or we’re baffled by it or it’s luck if it works out. A remote control that runs the TV, DVD, DVR, Tivo, X-Box and sound system can be very useful, but if we don’t understand how it functions it is not much use to us and only confuses or frustrates us. The same is true for our own well-being. When we see what makes our well-being come alive within us, when we see what makes us function as we do and how to use it to our benefit, we gain a handle on life. Instead of being at the mercy of our circumstances, instead of being baffled or frustrated by what life throws at us, we discover how we are in charge.

      When I look back upon my life, had I known then what I know now I could have spared myself and others so many difficulties. But it’s silly to beat ourselves up for what we didn’t see. I was innocent. The only way I could have done it differently is if I saw it differently then. The same is true for all of us. The point isn’t to look back; it’s to live now, armed with the new.

      I am not saying difficulties won’t happen to us. That is never the case. It’s been said many times that “life is a contact sport.” But how we experience these so-called difficulties is up for grabs. What we make of those difficulties makes the real difference in our lives.

      Most of us walk around oblivious to what makes us function as we do, oblivious to what creates our life experience, oblivious to what makes people change, oblivious to what makes people live in well being and with peace of mind. Oblivion is no longer necessary. It is never too late to live with this new understanding for the rest of our lives.

      I realized if we deeply understood three spiritual facts or principles, how these facts work together and how our use of them gives us every experience we can possibly have in life, with this perspective we can move through life with peace of mind, well-being, mental health and psychological freedom. These three principles are revealed throughout the book. The question becomes, what do we need to know about these three principles and how they work together to help us most in our lives? To that end it occurred to me that The Three Principles point to ten little (but huge) points about life and relationships that would be extremely helpful for people to understand. I don’t expect these ten points to mean much as simple statements. Each takes exploration and reflection. Thus, a full chapter is devoted to each:

      I. Our thinking is our life

      II. Wisdom is always available to guide us, if we know how to access it

      III. If someone’s thinking doesn’t change, they can’t change

      IV. When our mind clears our wisdom appears

      V. We don’t have to think our way out of our problems (or to happiness)

      VI. The feeling is what counts, and it’s foolproof

      VII. What we see is what we get

      VIII. In low levels of consciousness it is unwise to believe, trust or follow our thinking

      IX. To deeply listen to others instead of to our own thinking gives us a richer experience

      X. We’re only as stuck as we think we are

      To deeply understand the meaning of these statements is to live in a different world, an inside-out world. You may never see yourself or the world in the same way again.

      People have within them something so powerful. It is the power to change, to monumental degrees. People are walking potential to change at any moment. They can change their minds, change their thoughts. People have the power to have truly clear minds, and from that clarity to have insights they never before dreamed, insights so powerful the world never looks the same; their lives never look the same. Our innate Health and its natural intelligence is always hidden within us, just waiting to rise to the surface. All we have to do is allow what we think we know to drop away, or no longer take it seriously, and this wisdom will speak to us. It is so close to us that we have forgotten it is there—like the air we take for granted—yet it holds the key that unlocks the potential in everyone.

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