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CELIA
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
LE BEAU
Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence, with bills on their necks,—
ROSALIND
“Be it known unto all men by these presents,”—
LE BEAU
The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke’s wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him: so he served the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.
ROSALIND
Alas!
TOUCHSTONE
But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?
LE BEAU
Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE
Thus men may grow wiser every day! It is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
CELIA
Or I, I promise thee.
ROSALIND
But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking?— Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU
You must, if you stay here: for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.
CELIA
Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it.
[Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants.]
DUKE FREDERICK
Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.
ROSALIND
Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU
Even he, madam.
CELIA
Alas, he is too young: yet he looks successfully.
DUKE FREDERICK
How now, daughter and cousin? are you crept hither to see the wrestling?
ROSALIND
Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.
DUKE FREDERICK
You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the men. In pity of the challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him.
CELIA
Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
DUKE FREDERICK
Do so; I’ll not be by.
[DUKE FREDERICK goes apart.]
LE BEAU
Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.
ORLANDO
I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND
Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?
ORLANDO
No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I come but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.
CELIA
Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND
Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke that the wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO
I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts: wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial: wherein if I be foiled there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is willing to be so: I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me: the world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.
ROSALIND
The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.
CELIA
And mine to eke out hers.
ROSALIND
Fare you well. Pray heaven, I be deceived in you!
CELIA
Your heart’s desires be with you.
CHARLES
Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?
ORLANDO
Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.
DUKE FREDERICK
You shall try but one fall.
CHARLES
No; I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.
ORLANDO
You mean to mock me after; you should not have mocked me before; but come your ways.
ROSALIND
Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!
CELIA
I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.
[CHARLES and ORLANDO wrestle.]
ROSALIND
O excellent young man!
CELIA
If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.
[CHARLES is thrown. Shout.]
DUKE FREDERICK
No more, no more.
ORLANDO
Yes, I beseech your grace; I am not yet well breathed.
DUKE FREDERICK
How dost thou, Charles?
LE BEAU
He cannot speak, my lord.
DUKE FREDERICK
Bear him away.
[CHARLES is borne out.]
What is thy name, young man?
ORLANDO
Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Bois.
DUKE FREDERICK
I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteem’d thy father honourable,
But I did find him still mine enemy:
Thou shouldst have better pleas’d me with this deed
Hadst thou descended from another house.
But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth;
I would thou hadst told me of another father.
[Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, Train, and LE BEAU.]
CELIA
Were I my father, coz, would I do this?