LITMIR.BIZ

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      “Those are really bad ideas,” said Aja.

      “For once I agree with Aja,” said Valentina. “Rhian is very smart. He’d suspect a bunch of lost-looking maids or a gift with things whispering inside like a chupacabra.”

      “Plus, the Snake has a Quest Map,” Bodhi said to Agatha. “If you get anywhere near that castle, he’d know.”

      Agatha bristled, feeling even more defensive than before . . . but deep down she knew they were right. Her plans were stupid. Yet there was no brilliant plan waiting for her to think of it. There was no perfect secret entrance or dodgy gate or magical spell that would get them into Camelot undetected. And even if there were, there was certainly no way to get Tedros, Sophie, Dovey, and nine other prisoners out.

      “I’ll lock this in my office for you, dear,” said Professor Anemone, sidling up to her and slipping Dovey’s bag off her arm.

      “No, I’ll keep it with me,” Agatha batted, holding it tight. “Merlin ordered me not to let it out of my sight.”

      “Say no more,” her teacher replied. “Ooh, I see you’ve met the boys of Honor 52. Be strict with Bodhi and Laithan. Don’t let them flirt their way out of trouble. You’re their commander now.”

      “The teachers’ commander too,” said Princess Uma, approaching. “We’re here to help you. And my animals will join the fight.”

      “As will the wolves and fairies,” said Yuba the Gnome, waddling up to them. “And don’t forget the rest of the fourth years: Ravan, Vex, and a few others are in the clinic, recovering from the Battle of the Four Point, while the remainder of the class are on their way back to school from their various quest sites. You have a whole army at your service, Agatha. But my Forest Group just told me you’ve yet to decide on a plan. Think harder, my girl. Camelot isn’t just your home; it’s your domain. You know its weaknesses, along with the new king’s. Somewhere inside you, you know how to rescue your friends. Somewhere inside, you have the plan. And now we need to hear it.”

      Heads poked up from workstations, all eyes on Camelot’s princess. The theater went as quiet as a church on Halloween.

      “The plan?” Agatha’s voice came out a croak. She cleared her throat, hoping it would magically produce a strategy. “Yes. Um—”

      “YOU SMELLY HOUSE APES!”

      Everyone turned to see Castor kicking two boys’ rumps at Station #6. “DOVEY’S IN PRISON, KING’S ’BOUT TO DIE, AND YOU’RE MAKIN’ DUNGBOMBS!”

      “Flaming dungbombs!” a puny blond named BERT pipped.

      “Smell Missiles!” a fellow blond named BECKETT added. “The perfect weapon!”

      “I’LL SHOW YOU THE PERFECT WEAPON!” Castor swiped a newspaper off the Group #6 table and thrashed both boys with it. “ONE MORE DUNGBOMB AND IT’S THE DOOM ROOM!”

      “We’re Evers!” Bert and Beckett protested.

      “EVEN BETTER!” Castor barked, walloping them harder.

      Noxious fumes spread out of control, sending groups ducking for cover. Agatha seized on the distraction and hustled to Group #6’s table, where a boy and girl were poring over the newspapers Castor hadn’t swiped, undeterred by Bert and Beckett’s stink-plot.

      These two look clever, Agatha thought. Maybe they’ve found something I haven’t.

      “Welcome to Forest Group #6,” said a bald, ghostly Everboy named DEVAN with dark eyebrows and sculpted cheekbones. “Pleasure to be in your company, Princess Agatha. You are as regal and lovely as your fairy tale promised.”

      “She has a boyfriend, Devan,” said a dark Nevergirl with ice-blue hair, matching eyes, and a choker strung with mini-skulls. Her name tag read LARALISA. She slipped her hand around Devan’s waist. “And you’re spoken for too, so don’t lay it on too thick.”

      Agatha’s eyes widened at the sight of an Ever and a Never so brazenly dating (Lady Lesso tried to murder Tedros and Sophie when they’d done it), but now Devan was pushing one of the newspapers towards her across the overturned pew.

      “Take a look at today’s Camelot Courier,” he said.

      Agatha scanned the front page—

       IDENTITY OF SNAKE STILL IN QUESTION

      Castle Refuses to Comment on the Face Under the Mask

       SNAKE’S BODY MISSING, SAYS CRYPTKEEPER

      Garden of Good & Evil Has No Reports of Snake’s Burial

       DOUBTS RAISED ABOUT KING’S NEW LIEGE

      Where Was Japeth When the Snake Was on the Loose?

      Laralisa dropped another paper on top. “Now look at the Royal Rot.”

      Agatha hunched over Camelot’s colorful tabloid, known for its ludicrous conspiracy theories and outright lies.

      CRYPTKEEPER DEBUNKED!

      Snake’s Burial Confirmed in Necro Ridge

      JAPETH REVEALS

      “My Brother Stopped Me from Fighting the Snake

      —Rhian Wanted to Protect Me!”

      COURIER OF LIES

      80% OF STORIES PROVEN FALSE!

      “The usual horsecrap,” muttered Agatha. “But it doesn’t matter. No one in Camelot will ever believe a word the Rot says, no matter what Rhian has them print.”

      “It’s not the people of Camelot we’re worried about,” said Laralisa.

      She slid a few more papers in front of Agatha.

       THE NETHERWOOD VILLAIN DIGEST

       CAMELOT DISPUTES CRYPTKEEPER!

       Snake Buried in Necro Ridge!

       THE MALABAR HILLS MIRROR

       KING RHIAN VINDICATED

       Snake’s Body Verified in Secret Tomb!

       THE PIFFLEPAFF POST

       KEEPER OF LIES! Snake’s Body Found in Garden of Good & Evil

      “Rhian’s fingerprints are all over this,” said Laralisa. “He knows the Courier is onto him. So he’s making sure the other kingdoms parrot his lies.”

      “And the other kingdoms go along with it because they trust anything Rhian says,” Agatha realized. “In their eyes, he killed the Snake. He killed a deadly villain attacking their kingdoms. He saved them. The people of the Woods don’t know it’s a lie. They don’t know he’s playing them for fools. The Storian knows and we know.”

      “And the Courier’s getting close,” said Laralisa. “But Rhian’s discredited the Storian, he’s discredited Tedros, he’s discredited you, he’s discredited the school, and now he’s discrediting the Courier. Even if we did have proof to show the people that the Snake is still alive—and we don’t—no one would listen to us.”

      “Courier might not even be around long enough to back us up,” Devan noted, pulling open its pages. “They’re on the run, printing in secret, and Rhian’s men are hunting their reporters. And the more they’re on the run, the more they’re grasping at straws. Look at these headlines. It’s like something out of the Rot.”

      MESSAGE IN BOTTLE FOUND: “SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE!”

      

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