LITMIR.BIZ

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dad and Ryan MacAllister were partners on the Ventura police force for many years before they retired. They named their sons after each other.” Ryan laughed. “Which is why my name is Ryan in case you’re not following all this. I have a bunch of cousins, aunts, uncles, a set of grandparents, the whole nine yards, who aren’t really related to me but—” He shrugged.

      “But they love you and you love them,” Carolyn said, smiling.

      “Yes,” Ryan said seriously. “Yes, I love them all, very much. Believe me, Carolyn, I know how lucky, how blessed I am to have been adopted by Hannah and Ted Sharpe. I not only have wonderful parents and a super sister, but I’m part of the MacAllister family, too.”

      Ryan pushed his plate to one side and folded his arms on the top of the table.

      “I’ve upset and—and hurt a lot of fantastic people,” he went on, “by my inability to find an inner peace. Last year my grandfather, Robert MacAllister, gave me a special gift, a…well, that’s another story.

      “What I’m trying to say here is that my problems are mine, are within me, are certainly not caused by any lack of love showered on me by my family the entire time I was growing up.

      “I’m working hard, very, very hard, at getting a grip on the whole thing. It’s coming. Slowly, but it’s coming…the peace, little by little.” He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What I did, said, in your office, though, was a red alert to me that I have a ways to go yet. I really am terribly sorry about what happened that day. Seeing all those pictures of the adopted kids just triggered a lot of memories and… Ah, hell, there’s no excuse for my behavior and I sincerely hope you’ve forgiven me.”

      “Of course I have,” Carolyn said, reaching across the table to cover his hand with one of hers as the nagging voice stilled. “I understand so much better now why— Oh, Ryan, I hope so much that you find your peace, move past your feelings. I understand about being different and…” Her voice trailed off.

      Ryan frowned as he laid his other hand on top of Carolyn’s where it rested on his.

      “What do you mean?” he asked.

      “Oh, well,” she said, attempting to pull her hand free. Ryan tightened his hold, keeping her hand firmly in place between his. “I…my career. Yes. I help create families that are a mixture of cultures. I’m confident at the time a child is placed with the new parents that all is well in that arena, but sometimes there are doubts, a problem or two with the extended family…

      “You know, grandparents who might have difficulty accepting this foreign child as their grandchild. I work with those people as much as possible so that the child will know he or she, is totally loved and that…um…being different really isn’t important, doesn’t matter, and—” She cleared her throat. “I’m going to be sinfully indulgent and have some Black Forest cake.”

      Ryan stared intently at Carolyn, then released her hand when she tugged on it again.

      Something isn’t right here, he thought. Carolyn had been scrambling for an explanation about what she had said about knowing what it was like to be different. She’d started talking too fast, had been nearly babbling with her dissertation about unaccepting grandparents or whatever. The color had drained from her face, too, and she hadn’t looked directly at him while delivering her sermonette in a voice that was trembling slightly.

      Ah, Carolyn, Ryan thought, what’s going on here? What wasn’t she telling him? What secrets did she have that she didn’t trust him with? Yet.

      Carolyn leaned back in her chair and produced a small smile.

      “Enough heavy discussions,” she said. “Are you going to have some cake with me?”

      “Sure,” Ryan said, signaling to the waiter. “Would you like coffee with it?”

      “No, thank you. The water in my goblet will be fine. Maybe we won’t feel so guilty about being piggy and having Black Forest cake if we both eat it. You know, like partners in crime, or something.”

      Ryan smiled. “There you go.”

      The tension of what had just transpired dissipated when the gooey, cherry-smothered pieces of cake were set in front of them. The tension was gone…but not forgotten.

      When they were driving away from the restaurant, Carolyn asked Ryan if he knew where he was going to build his dream home.

      Ryan nodded. “I have a piece of land that was given to me by my parents on my twenty-first birthday. It’s a Sharpe family tradition to be given a piece of undeveloped property on the big twenty-one. We can sell it, keep it, build a home on it, whatever suits our fancy.”

      “How marvelous. And you like the location of your land?”

      “Oh, yeah,” Ryan said, nodding. “It’s on a rise and has an unbelievable view of the city lights.” He paused. “Would you like to see it? We could drive up there right now in this vehicle, even though there aren’t any paved roads leading to it yet.”

      Ryan laughed. “There’s a new one for you. Instead of asking if you want to see my etchings, I’m suggesting that you look at a bunch of dirt and scrub weeds with me. Classy, huh?”

      “To the max,” Carolyn said, smiling, “but I’d enjoy it, I’m sure.”

      “Okay. We’re heading for the hills.”

      Twenty minutes later, after a drive that slowly left the city behind and gradually gained altitude as Ryan wove his way upward, he stopped and turned off the ignition to the SUV.

      He crossed his arms on top of the steering wheel and swept his gaze over the fantastic view of the city lights that spread out below as far as the eye could see in all directions. He looked over at Carolyn, who had undone her seat belt and was leaning forward.

      “What do you think?” he said.

      “It’s breathtaking,” Carolyn said, awe ringing in her voice. “Oh, Ryan, what an incredibly beautiful view this is. I could sit here for hours and just drink in the sight of it. It’s so perfect it looks like a postcard.”

      “Mmm,” Ryan said, nodding. “Yes, it does, now that you mention it. Would you like to get out so you can see it firsthand instead of through the window?”

      “I thought you’d never ask.” Carolyn laughed as she opened the door and slid off the seat.

      They met in front of the vehicle, and Carolyn wrapped her hands around her elbows as a chilly breeze caused her to shiver.

      “It’s windier up here than down in the city. This isn’t such a hot idea, Carolyn. You’re obviously getting cold.”

      “Oh, a few minutes won’t hurt,” she said, then shivered again.

      Ryan stepped behind her and encircled her with his arms, stepping close to nestle her to him. Carolyn stiffened for a moment, then relaxed, savoring the warmth of Ryan’s massive, powerful body.

      Oh, he was so strong yet so gentle, she mused. She was definitely not cold any longer. The heat emanating from Ryan was suffusing her, swirling inside her, causing her heart to quicken its tempo. That heat was growing hotter, beginning to burn within her with licking flames of desire.

      Move away, Carolyn, she ordered herself. This was dangerous, was too intimate and… It was as though she and Ryan had been transported to another world where no one existed but the two of them. And in this world there were no rules of conduct that must be followed. They were free to do whatever felt right and real, theirs.

      Oh, yes, she had to step forward, out of Ryan’s embrace that was muddling her thinking, and she would. In a minute. Or two. Three at the very most.

      “I think,” Ryan said, his voice husky, “that I’d design the house so that there was a big deck in the back, here, so I could sit in a lounge chair and enjoy this view whenever I wanted to. What do you think?”

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