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giggling hysterically, drunk and high as a kite, and blamed me for plying her with dope. I tried to tell him I hadn’t – I didn’t even have any dope in the house but he was so angry he wouldn’t listen and the little cow told him I had given her some of my magic muffins.’

      ‘Oh my God – were those the ones we made together?’ Flick suddenly twigged what had happened.

      ‘The very same. I’d planned to share them with you and Gav next time we were out gardening. Emily must have helped herself. Plus, she’d found some of my vodka and drunk that. I told Richard I hadn’t given it to her but he wouldn’t believe me. We had a row, and that was it, he wouldn’t see me again.’

      ‘Oh, Kez,’ said Flick, giving her friend a hug. ‘The silly sod. He must have known you’d never do a thing like that.’

      ‘I don’t think he’s that rational as far as Emily’s concerned,’ said Kezzie. ‘Emily told her mum, who blamed Richard, and stopped Emily seeing him for a bit, which made things worse for me and him of course. I accused Emily of doing it on purpose to split us up, and that was it. Richard stopped taking my calls, and refused to have anything to do with me. And it’s my own stupid fault. I should never have had those muffins in the house where a teenager could get their hands on them. And it proved to Richard once and for all how irresponsible I was.’

      ‘And do you think he’s right?’ said Flick with sympathy.

      ‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ said Kezzie. ‘It’s all been so muddled up in my head. I think the main thing is we both realized how different we are, how different our lifestyles are. I don’t think we can be together any more.’

      ‘Well, then,’ said Flick. ‘If that’s the case, one spliff can’t hurt can it?’

      ‘I’m not sure,’ said Kezzie, but she was weakening.

      ‘After all, you don’t have to please Richard any more,’ continued Flick.

      ‘Oh, go on, then,’ said Kezzie.

      Hours later, after a really brilliant evening, where she’d danced wildly, sung herself hoarse, and drunk far too much, Kezzie found herself rollickingly staggering back down the road with Flick and Gavin, and ordering a curry.

      ‘I do love you two guys, you know,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed you.’

      ‘I’ve missed you, too,’ said Flick. ‘Don’t go away. Stay here.’

      ‘Got to,’ said Kezzie. ‘Got a commission to restore a garden.’

      ‘Sounds good,’ said Flick.

      ‘It is.’ Kezzie told them all about Edward Handford and Lovelace Cottage, and she realized that it was good, and she was beginning to really like it in Heartsease. ‘You could come and help me. We’re trying to restore a community garden, too, do you remember that project we worked on over in Hackney? Only a bit posher.’

      ‘You’re on,’ said Flick. ‘Tell us where and when. Oh, and if you’re not coming back, take something from Spike home with you to keep you cheerful over the winter.’

      Spike was the name Flick had given to the original cannabis plant she’d grown. Over the years Spike had produced much fruit as it were, and Kezzie grinned as she accepted the small plastic bag Flick offered her.

      ‘Thanks guys,’ she said. ‘You’re the best,’ and sat back in her chair and relaxed. With the winter coming on she’d been feeling very lost and lonely, despite her burgeoning friendship with Lauren. Coming back to see her friends had reminded her of who and what she was. Suddenly she didn’t feel quite so lonely any more.

      Chapter Twelve

      ‘Girls, do you remember who I said was visiting today?’ Lauren sat down with Izzie and Immie over breakfast. She’d told Troy that he could come around and meet them, but she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing. She looked from one to the other, so alike, and yet so different as they sat munching their toast in the homely kitchen. She’d worked so hard to make their home a haven for them, to make up for not having two parents. And in the main, she felt she’d succeeded. Was she about to destroy all that by letting him back into their lives?

      In the last couple of weeks she’d gradually introduced the idea of Troy coming back, but she wasn’t sure how much the girls had understood about it, or whether they were upset at all. Having them actually meet him was a big step.

      ‘You know I told you that Daddy had come back after being away for a long time?’ said Lauren.

      ‘Ye-es,’ the girls chorused a bit doubtfully.

      ‘Daddy’s coming to see you today, isn’t that lovely?’

      ‘Oh,’ the girls looked blankly at her.

      ‘Where has he been?’ Izzie wanted to know.

      ‘I thought we might be getting a treat,’ said Immie looking disappointed.

      This wasn’t going exactly to plan, but Lauren persevered.

      ‘Daddy had to work a long way away from here,’ she lied. She didn’t like lying to the girls, but how did you tell two four-year-olds their dad hadn’t wanted to know? ‘So he couldn’t come and see you before. But now he’s back and he really wants to meet you.’

      ‘I don’t want to meet him,’ said Izzie. ‘Silly Daddy.’

      ‘Yes, silly Daddy,’ agreed Immie.

      Very silly, Lauren silently concurred, looking at her daughters and wondering how anyone in their right mind could have ever abandoned them.

      ‘That’s a shame,’ said Lauren, ‘because I’m sure you’d like him.’

      ‘Will he like us?’ Izzie looked at Lauren so anxiously her heart melted.

      ‘Of course he will,’ she said feeling her throat constricting. This was so bloody hard. ‘Come on, I’ll give him a ring now and ask him to come round. And if you don’t like him, we’ll send him away again. What do you think?’

      The girls mulled it over for a few minutes, before tentatively smiling at each other and saying, ‘OK. Can we watch CBeebies now?’

      ‘Off you go,’ said Lauren, with relief. She picked up her phone and rang Troy.

      Half an hour later she was ushering Troy into the lounge. His slightly scruffy appearance looked out of place in her calm and tidy lounge, with its comfy sofa, plumped up cushions and bright, breezy curtains with tie backs. Troy stood there, slightly uneasily, as if he were finding it difficult. He couldn’t have looked more awkward if he’d tried. The twins looked up at him, startled, as Lauren said, ‘Izzie, Immie, I want you to meet someone very special.’

      ‘Who’s that man?’ asked Izzie, pointing at Troy. It took all Lauren’s resolve not to clap her daughter instead of scolding her. She could see it all too clearly from Izzie’s point of view.

      ‘Don’t be rude, darling,’ said Lauren, very carefully. ‘This is your daddy.’

      ‘He’s not our daddy!’ said Izzie.

      ‘We don’t have a daddy!’ said Immie.

      No you don’t, thought Lauren, your daddy wasn’t there to see you born, hasn’t acknowledged a single birthday, and has only seen you once. What kind of a daddy is that?

      ‘No girls, you do have a daddy,’ said Lauren. ‘Remember I explained it to you, Daddy was a bit busy and had to go away, and couldn’t see you. But now he’s back and he’ll be able to spend lots of time with you. Won’t you, Daddy?’

      She shot Troy a warning look.

      ‘Yes, that’s right, girls,’ said Troy, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I’m going to stay around here and we can all get to know each other. Now which one of you is Izzie, and which one is Immie?’

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