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is he?’ I asked again.

      ‘That arsehole calls himself “The Alchemist”. Fucker.’

      ‘What’s he into, Dungeons and Dragons? You the Dragon Master now, Moses?’

      ‘Don’t push it – this is serious. The Alchemist’s my chemist. Smart boy – not smart enough, though. He’s got a degree from Aberdeen University, he makes the legal drugs that I sell through my Internet business.’

      ‘What’s he up for? Possession? Intent to supply?’

      ‘Naw, nothing like that. Big arsehole just got himself done for breaking and entering.’

      The surprise must have shown on my face as Moses proffered an unasked-for explanation.

      ‘That twat …’ he threw his head in the direction of the Alchemist, ‘went to a private school, but he’s got this romantic notion of being a criminal. Butch fucking Cassidy and the fucking Sundance Kid don’t have a look-in with him. Of course, he’s been fitted up on the present charge – so he’s pleading not guilty,’ Moses hastily added.

      No Dark Angel was ever found guilty of an offence – it was more a question of what they knew rather than who they knew. Moses might be slinging mud at me today, but we both knew he was slipping if the Crown Office had decided to prosecute.

      ‘Bring him across,’ I said.

      I was pissed off. I was busy enough today without having to deal with a public-school tosser who had been given enough privileges in life to know better. I had to get him to sign a mandate saying that I was now representing him and then I’d have the aggro of handing the piece of paper over to the now-redundant lawyer in person. This would all be done in full view of the Edinburgh lawyers, compounding their belief that I was lining my own pockets at the cost of theirs.

      Could this day get worse?

      My mobile vibrated softly in my pocket. Five missed calls. Four from Glasgow Joe and one from Jack.

      ‘Welcome to hell,’ I muttered under my breath.

      ‘Sorry? I didn’t catch what you said?’

      The Alchemist had a soft, cultured voice, and the spaced-out look that comes from permanent brain damage. Brain damage caused by handling too many hallucinogenic drugs with a hole in your rubber gloves.

      ‘Sign this.’

      I shoved the mandate under his nose. I could take the details later. Right now I had to find the lawyer who was supposed to be representing him and get the document to them.

      ‘Who was supposed to be representing you?’ I asked.

      ‘Bridget Nicholson.’

      Shit. With the way my day was going I should have guessed it would be her.

      As always, when I entered the agents’ room I was struck by how bland it was. Not to mention the fact that there was absolutely no privacy.

      Bridget Nicholson brushed her peroxide-blonde hair. She caught me looking distastefully at the hairs that were landing on her black court gown and falling on the floor.

      She deliberately swung her skanky mane at me and I jerked backwards. Her lips were bright red, which made her teeth look yellow. I tried to remember those makeover television shows. I’m sure they would advise her to use a lipstick with more blue in it.

      I couldn’t deny some men found her attractive, but then again, there’s no accounting for taste. At thirty-nine, Nicholson looked years older than Kailash – I didn’t want to imagine what she’d been doing to make herself look so haggard. I put my scuffed bike helmet down on the carpet, beside her well-polished stilettos.

      As I straightened myself up, I became uncomfortably aware of the hush that had settled on the agents’ room. No one was making any pretence of not listening. Reaching into my trouser pocket, I pulled out the crumpled mandate and handed it to her. She looked at it as if it were a steaming pile of shit.

      The hordes clustered round, waiting for a scene. They looked like a gang in pristine black gowns – all except Eddie Gibb in his funny-coloured green gown. Still, at least he had a gown on. I was the outsider and felt that they were all willing Bridget to rip me apart.

      ‘How much did you pay him?’ Nicholson asked.

      ‘Pardon?’

      ‘You heard me, Brodie. How much are you paying your clients?’

      I ignored her and pointed to the appropriately signed mandate.

      ‘Come on, Brodie,’ she went on. ‘You must be making some kind of profit out of this – so what incentives are you giving these young men? Maybe it’s not financial? You handing out blow jobs like your mother?’

      I wanted to hit her, but Eddie Gibb showed previously hidden speed, and his surprisingly steady hand held mine as he spoke to Nicholson.

      ‘Brodie has a legitimate mandate – failure to furnish her with the papers will result in a complaint to the Law Society.’

      I was surprised by the gravitas in Eddie’s voice.

      ‘Speaking of the Law Society – have you been interviewed yet about Cattanach’s disappearance, Miss McLennan?’ Nicholson shouted loudly so that her public could hear every word. ‘Don’t look so surprised; everyone here knows you’re being investigated – that’s why we’re not bothered by these.’

      She threw the mandate back in my face. Eddie pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

      ‘Stay calm – you know that she and Cattanach were an item.’

      I followed his advice because I knew it was the right thing to do and I couldn’t think of a smart retort. I took the file from Nicholson and ripped out the complaint – the piece of paper that stated what the Alchemist had been charged with – then handed the file back to her. As I walked out of the agents’ room to change for court, I heard her shout.

      ‘Cat got your tongue, Brodie? Or are you just upset that you can’t shag your way out of this one?’

       Chapter Five

      ‘You look as if someone is squeezing your balls, Brodie!’

      Robert Girvan shouted at me as we scurried between courts like black rats trying to find their way round a maze.

      The weight of the files was hurting my arm. I was struggling just to be in the right place at the right time, without even considering how good my performance was. This morning’s work was purely administrative, a chimpanzee could have done it, in fact there was one ugly bastard at the Bar doing a grand impression of an orang-utan.

      I missed the easy camaraderie of my early years, when all the old letches were falling over themselves to help me. Either I had lost my charms or I was even more unpopular than I wanted to know. I didn’t know which was worse. No one had stood up for me earlier except Eddie, and I wasn’t daft enough to think that was for any other reason than the fact that I paid him.

      I had finished my morning’s work except for the Alchemist’s intermediate diet – meaning I would have to tell the court whether or not we were ready to go to trial – and a probation hearing for Tanya Hayder. I’d won the battle of wills with Lavender – stubbornness usually does win the game, and it was always a foregone conclusion given the history between Tanya and myself. Both cases were in different courts at different ends of the building. Eddie, Robert and Laura were in trials that were about to start. I had intended to cover one of the trials, but the Alchemist situation was one which definitely required ‘delectus personae’, not just because he was an important client, but because the courtroom would be filled with spectators hoping to see another fight. Tanya Hayder would have to go on the backburner and I prayed that everything would run smoothly.

      The glass and marble halls of the new Edinburgh

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