LITMIR.BIZ

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She’s very good with the younger children. She used to take them for singing tuition in the village hall. But since she’s been working at the shop, she doesn’t have much time to plan a different future. But there’s time enough yet, I suppose when she’s ready.’

      Smiling proudly, Marie informed the driver, ‘She’s torn between the shop and her real ambitions. On the one hand, she loves to be with the children … and on the other hand, she used to love helping out at the local vets. She often came home with stray animals. One time she came home clutching a cat in a basket. Both its ears had been torn off – by accident or deliberate, no one knows.’

      ‘Good grief!’ the taxi driver was horrified at the idea that someone might have deliberately done such a thing. ‘Mind you, there are some nasty people out there!’

      ‘I agree, but we don’t know for sure if it was deliberate. The vet had an idea that it could have ripped its ears when climbing under barbed wire, but the damage was so bad, he couldn’t really say. He did manage to save enough of both ears for a little wiggle, though. Someone left it on the doorstep of the vets. Maybe they couldn’t afford to pay for treatment. Cathy had it sleeping with her on the bed for weeks. She refused to give it up, even when the vet warned her it might have to be put down. Thankfully though, the poor thing survived with at least part of its ears. Cathy called the cat Larry. It followed her everywhere she went, but that was before she went out to earn a wage.’

      ‘It sounds to me like you’ve got one hell of a lovely granddaughter,’ the driver said.

      Feeling immensely proud, Marie nodded. ‘Thank you! Cathy is indeed a very lovely young woman.’

      ‘Do you see much of her?’ Enjoying Marie’s company, the driver chatted on. ‘I bet you’ve missed her while you’ve been here.’

      ‘Yes, I do miss her if I go away. But with this particular trip, I decided to devote some precious time to old friends from years back.’

      ‘Quite right! You can’t neglect old friends,’ the driver agreed. ‘They’re few and far between and the years go so fast, you need to keep in touch. I’ve found that out myself. I had a really good mate – four years younger than me – he dropped dead with a heart attack. Knocked me sideways, it did. Now I make sure to meet up regular with the old crowd I went to school with.’

      What he said touched Marie deeply, what with the sudden death of the friend sounding exactly like Derek’s, and the horrible situation with Tony and Eileen. ‘You’re very wise,’ she said. She gave a long, weary sigh. ‘These past couple of days, I’ve really missed Cathy, and my daughter Anne. And of course the rest of the family. My dear son-in-law, Dave … he works away a lot. He’s a lorry driver.’ She smiled to herself, ‘Anne says there are times when he comes home after weeks on the road and she doesn’t even recognise the man at the door – unshaven, and much thinner than when he left.’

      ‘He sounds like a hard-working man,’ the driver said. ‘I take my hat off to your son-in-law. I wouldn’t want a job now that takes me away for weeks on end. I did that for some months when I was younger, but never again! Driving a huge great wagon into the early hours, and often sleeping over in the cab, down some dark lane or lorry park – not for me, not now I’m older.’

      Marie understood. ‘The thing is the company’s pay really good money for haulage drivers, and Dave is hoping to get enough money together to start his own business.’

      ‘Ah! Well, I can understand that. We all have our dreams. I’m hoping to retire in a few years’ time. Or I might buy a few cabs and sit in a comfy office, giving orders!’ He gave a hearty chuckle. ‘Oh, here we are!’ He drew into the station taxi rank. ‘Have a safe journey, and I hope your daughter and granddaughter are there to meet you.’ Clambering out of the cab, he carefully placed her case at her feet, then advised her of the amount of fare required, and Marie duly paid it, with a little thank you added on.

      After checking he had the right amount, plus a tip, he then dropped the money into his trouser pocket, ‘Well … thank you very much! Be good now!’

      ‘Goodbye, and thank you, I enjoyed our little chat.’ Suddenly feeling empty and lost, she said her goodbye and went into the station.

      When the regrets began to overwhelm her, she lingered awhile to look in a jewellery display in a shop window; but she was not at all interested, or even conscious of what was displayed there.

      She felt so alone. It was only a matter of seconds before the tears began to fall. Somewhat embarrassed, she retreated to a discreet corner of the entrance hall where she took out her handkerchief and dabbed the tears away.

      How could she have hoped to turn back the years, and take away the bad things? None of us can.

      What happened, happened and I took care of my part in it, the best way I could, she thought. If only I had found the courage to confide the truth to Tony and Eileen. Maybe then they might at least have found it in their hearts to forgive me. But maybe too many years have gone by. Maybe this is the way it has to be in order to protect the innocents involved.

      Hurrying down to the platform, she fumbled in her handbag for the return ticket home.

      She was greatly relieved, as she went through the barrier, to find the train was already waiting … with just ten minutes to go before leaving and she clambered on board.

      The first carriage was filled to capacity. Marie hurried on through to the next carriage, which was less crowded. Having quickly found a seat by the window, she sat herself down.

      Taking in a deep sigh, she felt weary, and so alone.

      As the train prepared to leave, she eagerly watched the flow of travellers still hurrying along the platform.

      She half hoped that Eileen and Tony might have followed her, but there was no sight of them. Of course, she didn’t even know if they’d come by train.

      A wave of nostalgia flowed over her for the happy holiday departures of old, as she realised that she may never see those two old friends ever again.

      ‘I’m sorry, madam. Tea or coffee?’ The steward’s soft voice alarmed Marie.

      ‘Oh … tea … thank you.’ She felt embarrassed at the possibility that he may have overheard her muttering to herself. ‘And a biscuit, please. Any kind will do.’

      As the steward handed her the tea and biscuit, took the money and quickly moved on, Marie’s thoughts meandered back over the years.

      She recalled her shock when she discovered she was pregnant with Tony’s child. Right from the very start she had desperately wanted to tell Eileen the truth – all of it – but that might well have caused another kind of anxiety and heartache. When she put it off, she then fretted about it until she had no option than to confide – not in Eileen, but someone who understood, and who had remained by her side through thick and thin. That dear, loving person had shared Marie’s worst dilemma, but instead of passing judgement, she had helped her keep her secret, held her hand through the darkest days of her life, and was keeping that secret and holding her hand even now.

      Finally, after much heart-searching and consideration, there was practical help when the decision was made. They moved from the old house to a place where no one knew them as a family, just until matters were resolved and there would be no difficult questions.

      Everything finally slotted into place, the deed was done and there could be no turning back.

      In the years that followed, Marie came to realise that the sacrifice she had made was allowing her to experience an unexpected joy, a sense of peace, and of course, gratitude.

      Always, though, at the back of her mind was a small, niggling concern that one day she would have to tell the truth. One thing was certain: these past years she had not really enjoyed her life. It had been a peculiar pattern of guilt and joy, and immense doubt as to the drastic action she had taken.

      She had sinned, and now she was paying the price. Being both desperate and ready to make amends, she

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