LITMIR.BIZ

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I don’t want any more tonight.’

      A girl’s voice floated down through the oak wood, calling her name, and Ava struggled again.

      ‘She’s coming now, Ava, and just remember, this is your fault. “True Lies” is for real.’ Huw was leaning over her too, his face livid and twisted in the flames, voice thickening with excitement.

      ‘Ellen, down here! We’re by the picnic tables… Ellen…’ Ava’s own voice was shaky, and someone pinched her arm hard. Her brain was fuddled by the drugs, and she knew something bad was going to happen. The blackness was coming in waves now. It was a familiar feeling. Desperately, she dragged at Leo’s arm, but he pushed her down onto the mud and the leaves. He was gentle now, hands lingering on her body. Her eyes were still open, and she strained to see, to speak again…

      Ellen appeared now, picking her way carefully along the grassy path. She raised one arm, grabbing a low branch to help her up the slope. Her long hair was caught up in a high ponytail, and one wrist was covered with multi-coloured layers of plaited friendship bracelets, ‘Sorry I’m late… Oh, did you start without me? Shit, that’s half the vodka gone already, you greedy pigs.’

      Ava raised herself on one elbow. ‘Ellen, I’m sorry—’

      Before she could say anything else, the chemicals pumping around her bloodstream overwhelmed her, Ava closed her eyes, rolling heavily onto the leaf-strewn ground.

      * * *

      Ava slid onto the bench seat, trying to stay in the present, smiling at Penny, carefully avoiding Leo’s arrogant blue stare.

      ‘Isn’t it lovely to have Ava back for a while?’ Penny raised her glass in a determined toast. ‘It’s going to be so lovely catching up on all your news, Ava.’

      Rhodri was already merry, and he lifted his own glass, his hand shaking slightly. ‘Iechyd da!’ There was sheen of sweat on his pale face, and his eyes glittered.

      It was farcical, but nobody argued with Penny, who chattered on, beaming at them all, turning the whole evening into a charming social gathering. She had always had cheerleader tendencies, Ava remembered. Blonde ponytail swinging, she was the first to stick her hand up in class. She even turned up every Saturday to cheer on the local football team.

      Her Uncle Alf was the coach, so at least she got to sit in the car when the weather was bad. Ava and Ellen had waged a term-long campaign until the coach grudgingly accepted the two girls could actually play better than some of the boys, and let them come to matches as part of his ‘B’ team.

      Leo was still watching Ava, studying her face with an intensity that made her shiver. Whatever they had done, whatever they had meant to each other, it was dead and finished. She would make sure it stayed that way. Her finger flicked across her phone screen, and she glanced down, quickly tapping out a reply to her on-off boyfriend, Joe, reassuring him she was fine. Joe, like the others before him, was fun, and their relationship was only picked up when they both had time. They surfed, drank and had great sex but that was it. There was no deeper connection. He was an out-of-work actor from Chicago, hoping for his big break, attending auditions with thousands of other hopefuls, and coming away each time a little more broken, but very little wiser. Everyone had a dream, but when were you supposed to stop chasing rainbows? In LA you could be searching for your whole life, and still wind up under the pier in Santa Monica.

      ‘So your boss didn’t mind you taking time off work then, Ava?’ Paul eventually entered the conversation, grudgingly, and heavily prompted by his wife.

      Ava saw how his big, scrubbed hand was marked with the scars of cannulas, veins raised like worms, as he put his pint glass back down on the table, and how his rugged, handsome face was set, jaw rigid. He had never hit her, but abuse wasn’t always physical – she knew that to her cost. She felt something then, a sudden rush of pity that she knew he wouldn’t want. ‘No. He’s a good boss.’ All the questions she wanted to ask about Paul’s treatment, his death, would have to wait. A crowded pub was not the place to discuss something so personal.

      ‘Are you working on any big cases at the moment?’ Rhodri asked.

      Ava shook her head and took a long drink. ‘Just tying up a few bits and pieces. I couldn’t tell you anything even if I was, unfortunately.’

      ‘Shame. I love those true crime documentaries on TV. I’m pretty good at guessing who’s guilty.’ Rhodri was smiling at her now, scratching his red curls thoughtfully.

      ‘Really? Actually I like baking programmes. I’ve seen Penny’s website. It looks amazing!’ Ava injected just the right amount of enthusiasm into her voice, neatly swinging the subject back to them. She was genuinely impressed with her old friend’s business acumen, so it wasn’t hard. The pub doors banged and Ava jumped nervously, looking quickly over her shoulder for her son.

      ‘She has done well. She’s even won some awards!’ Paul was smiling fondly at his wife, and Ava was pleased to see the genuine affection between them. ‘Although she won’t mind me sharing that it was me that taught her how to use her computer properly. I even built her website for her.’

      Penny was laughing, sat right in the middle of the boys, her cheeks flushed pink with all the praise. ‘It isn’t just Welsh cakes, it’s Welsh honey, and vegetable boxes, and the meat. Not to mention the craft items. Online is the way to go nowadays. Mrs Birtley still keeps asking when I’m going to stop messing around on my computer and open a proper shop in the village. It’s weird, because I’ve got Miss Addley from number seventeen as a supplier for those gorgeous hand-knitted quilts, and she’s been selling them on Etsy for ages, yet Mrs B, who must be ten years younger, can’t even switch a computer on!’

      There was laughter, real laughter, for the first time. The tension dropped a notch, and the smiles were more than just bared teeth and stiff lips.

      ‘Stephen should be over soon,’ Penny said, glancing at her watch, and then quickly at Leo and Paul. ‘He and Bethan were just finishing their packing.’

      ‘Packing?’ Ava queried.

      ‘Shall we tell her now?’ Leo asked, without moving his gaze from Ava’s face.

      ‘Yes, come on. Penny wouldn’t tell me the big news earlier, and I’ve been waiting in anticipation ever since.’ Fuck, that sounded sarcastic, and she caught Paul’s glare. She fidgeted with her phone again, trying to push down the instinctive reaction at the mention of her son’s name – the unwelcome burst of agitation that set fiery bugs crawling in her stomach, and made her throat tight. It couldn’t be worse than last night.

      Rhodri leaned forward now. He smelled of beer and stale sweat, his red hair was matted, and his eyes were still too bright. ‘Stephen and Bethan are taking part in Leo’s show.’

      ‘In Tough Love?’ She wasn’t sure what to think. It certainly wasn’t the dramatic reveal she had been expecting. ‘Why would they want to do that?’

      Leo was grinning lazily at her. ‘I think Bethan wants to be famous, and Stephen likes a challenge.’

      ‘Don’t you think it’s exciting?’ Penny asked, leaning forward eagerly. ‘It’s such an opportunity for both of them. After all, Leo started out as a reality show contestant, didn’t you, lovely?’

      ‘True. Made in Wales. It makes me cringe now. All I had to do was play to the game and pull the girls. It wasn’t hard.’ He grinned as his friends booed. ‘Seriously, it is a great chance to make things happen, and they’re both smart kids. Good-looking too. We only ever have good-looking people on the show.’

      ‘You don’t. That girl, Frannie, in your last series was an ugly cow!’ Paul told him, smiling.

      ‘Okay, we mostly have good-looking people. She worked well because she argued with everyone on the whole show. But generally beautiful people work best on camera! But if you work it the right way, it can be a stepping stone to other things. I reckon Stephen and Bethan are smart enough to have worked that out. They won’t

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