LITMIR.BIZ

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old gentleman merely saying, ‘Don’t let it happen again.’ Next day he drank his Port, as usual, and the wheels of the Aurora went smoothly. The landlady was thus justified in averring that something had been done by somebody, albeit unable to point to anything specific. Women, who are almost as deeply bound to habit as old gentlemen, possess more of its spiritual element, and are warned by dreams, omens, creepings of the flesh, unwonted chills, suicide of china, and other shadowing signs, when a break is to be anticipated, or, has occurred. The landlady of the Aurora tavern was visited by none of these, and with that beautiful trust which habit gives, and which boastful love or vainer earthly qualities would fail in effecting, she ordered that the pint of Madeira should stand from six o’clock in the evening till seven—a small monument of confidence in him who was at one instant the ‘poor old dear’; at another, the ‘naughty old gad-about’; further, the ‘faithless old-good-for-nothing’; and again, the ‘blessed pet’ of the landlady’s parlour, alternately and indiscriminately apostrophized by herself, her sister, and daughter.

      On the last day of the month a step was heard coming up the long alley which led from the riotous scrambling street to the plentiful cheerful heart of the Aurora. The landlady knew the step. She checked the natural flutterings of her ribbons, toned down the strong simper that was on her lips, rose, pushed aside her daughter, and, as the step approached, curtsied composedly. Old Habit lifted his hat, and passed. With the same touching confidence in the Aurora that the Aurora had in him, he went straight to his corner, expressed no surprise at his welcome by the Madeira, and thereby apparently indicated that his appearance should enjoy a similar immunity.

      As of old, he called ‘Jonathan!’ and was not to be disturbed till he did so. Seeing that Jonathan smirked and twiddled his napkin, the old gentleman added, ‘Thursday!’

      But Jonathan, a man, had not his mistress’s keen intuition of the deportment necessitated by the case, or was incapable of putting the screw upon weak excited nature, for he continued to smirk, and was remarking how glad he was, he was sure, and something he had dared to think and almost to fear, when the old gentleman called to him, as if he were at the other end of the room, ‘Will you order Thursday, or not, sir?’ Whereat Jonathan flew, and two or three cosy diners glanced up from their plates, or the paper, smiled, and pursued their capital occupation.

      ‘Glad to see me!’ the old gentleman muttered, querulously. ‘Of course, glad to see a customer! Why do you tell me that? Talk! tattle! might as well have a woman to wait—just!’

      He wiped his forehead largely with his handkerchief; as one whom Calamity hunted a little too hard in summer weather.

      ‘No tumbling-room for the wine, too!’

      That was his next grievance. He changed the pint of Madeira from his left side to his right, and went under his handkerchief again, feverishly. The world was severe with this old gentleman.

      ‘Ah! clock wrong now!’

      He leaned back like a man who can no longer carry his burdens, informing Jonathan, on his coming up to place the roll of bread and firm butter, that he was forty seconds too fast, as if it were a capital offence, and he deserved to step into Eternity for outstripping Time.

      ‘But, I daresay, you don’t understand the importance of a minute,’ said the old gentleman, bitterly. ‘Not you, or any of you. Better if we had run a little ahead of your minute, perhaps—and the rest of you! Do you think you can cancel the mischief that’s done in the world in that minute, sir, by hurrying ahead like that? Tell me!’

      Rather at a loss, Jonathan scanned the clock seriously, and observed that it was not quite a minute too fast.

      The old gentleman pulled out his watch. He grunted that a lying clock was hateful to him; subsequently sinking into contemplation of his thumbs,—a sign known to Jonathan as indicative of the old gentleman’s system having resolved, in spite of external outrages, to be fortified with calm to meet the repast.

      It is not fair to go behind an eccentric; but the fact was, this old gentleman was slightly ashamed of his month’s vagrancy and cruel conduct, and cloaked his behaviour toward the Aurora, in all the charges he could muster against it. He was very human, albeit an odd form of the race.

      Happily for his digestion of Thursday, the cook, warned by Jonathan, kept the old gentleman’s time, not the Aurora’s: and the dinner was correct; the dinner was eaten in peace; he began to address his plate vigorously, poured out his Madeira, and chuckled, as the familiar ideas engendered by good wine were revived in him. Jonathan reported at the bar that the old gentleman was all right again.

      One would like here to pause, while our worthy ancient feeds, and indulge in a short essay on Habit, to show what a sacred and admirable thing it is that makes flimsy Time substantial, and consolidates his triple life. It is proof that we have come to the end of dreams and Time’s delusions, and are determined to sit down at Life’s feast and carve for ourselves. Its day is the child of yesterday, and has a claim on to-morrow. Whereas those who have no such plan of existence and sum of their wisdom to show, the winds blow them as they list. Consider, then, mercifully the wrath of him on whom carelessness or forgetfulness has brought a snap in the links of Habit. You incline to scorn him because, his slippers misplaced, or asparagus not on his table the first day of a particular Spring month, he gazes blankly and sighs as one who saw the End. To you it may appear small. You call to him to be a man. He is: but he is also an immortal, and his confidence in unceasing orderly progression is rudely dashed.

      But the old gentleman has finished his dinner and his Madeira, and says: ‘Now, Jonathan, “thock” the Port!’—his joke when matters have gone well: meant to express the sound of the uncorking, probably. The habit of making good jokes is rare, as you know: old gentlemen have not yet attained to it: nevertheless Jonathan enjoys this one, which has seen a generation in and out, for he knows its purport to be, ‘My heart is open.’

      And now is a great time with this old gentleman. He sips, and in his eyes the world grows rosy, and he exchanges mute or monosyllable salutes here and there. His habit is to avoid converse; but he will let a light remark season meditation.

      He says to Jonathan: ‘The bill for the month.’

      ‘Yes, sir,’ Jonathan replies. ‘Would you not prefer, sir, to have the items added on to the month ensuing?’

      ‘I asked you for the bill of the month,’ said the old gentleman, with an irritated voice and a twinkle in his eye.

      Jonathan bowed; but his aspect betrayed perplexity, and that perplexity was soon shared by the landlady for Jonathan said, he was convinced the old gentleman intended to pay for sixteen days, and the landlady could not bring her hand to charge him for more than two. Here was the dilemma foreseen by the old gentleman, and it added vastly to the flavour of the Port.

      Pleasantly tickled, he sat gazing at his glass, and let the minutes fly. He knew the part he would act in his little farce. If charged for the whole month, he would peruse the bill deliberately, and perhaps cry out ‘Hulloa?’ and then snap at Jonathan for the interposition of a remark. But if charged for two days, he would wish to be told whether they were demented, those people outside, and scornfully return the bill to Jonathan.

      A slap on the shoulder, and a voice: ‘Found you at last, Tom!’ violently shattered the excellent plot, and made the old gentleman start. He beheld Mr. Andrew Cogglesby.

      ‘Drinking Port, Tom?’ said Mr. Andrew. ‘I ‘ll join you’: and he sat down opposite to him, rubbing his hands and pushing back his hair.

      Jonathan entering briskly with the bill, fell back a step, in alarm. The old gentleman, whose inviolacy was thus rudely assailed, sat staring at the intruder, his mouth compressed, and three fingers round his glass, which it’ was doubtful whether he was not going to hurl at him.

      ‘Waiter!’ Mr. Andrew carelessly hailed, ‘a pint of this Port, if you please.’

      Jonathan sought the countenance of the old gentleman.

      ‘Do you hear, sir?’ cried the latter, turning his wrath on him. ‘Another pint!’ He added: ‘Take back the bill’; and away went Jonathan to relate fresh marvels to his mistress.

      Mr.

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