LITMIR.BIZ

       CHAPTER THIRTEEN

      ‘WELL? How was it last night?’ Dora asked when they finally caught up with each other over mid-morning coffee. ‘I was too sleepy to ask you when you got home. Sorry. I hope you didn’t think I was rude to leave like that.’

      Jessie had actually been grateful. She’d staggered home around one, having declined Kane’s offer to walk her to the door, using the excuse that it was late enough. But she must have looked a right mess with her hair all over the place and not a scrap of make-up remaining on her face. Anyone other than a half-asleep old lady would have known on sight that she’d been having sex all night.

      Jessie swallowed at the memory. Not just sex. Hot sex. Incredible sex. Sex such as she’d never known before.

      ‘I had a very enjoyable time,’ she said with an amazingly straight face. ‘The food at the restaurant was fabulous. You know that place down on the beach at Balmoral?’

      Dora didn’t, thankfully. She said she’d never been to Balmoral, either the suburb or the beach.

      Jessie invented a menu from scraps of memory of the last time she was there, all the while trying not to think of the incredible meal she had had last night. The food hadn’t been incredible. It was just a couple of frozen dinners, washed down with white wine and finished off with a selection of melons. Incredible was the fact that they’d been naked whilst eating, and sharing one of the kitchen chairs, with her being forbidden to feed herself.

      In hindsight, their various sexual encounters the previous night seemed decadent. But at the time, they’d simply been exciting.

      ‘Where did you go afterwards?’ Dora asked.

      ‘Just back to his place for a while,’ Jessie said nonchalantly.

      ‘And?’

      ‘He has a very nice house. Not unlike yours.’

      ‘And?’

      ‘It has a glorious view of the ocean and it’s chock-full of antiques. Kane must be worth a fortune.’

      ‘And?’

      ‘And what?’

      ‘Jessie Denton, did you or did you not go to bed with the man?’

      Jessie blushed at this unexpectedly forthright question. ‘Don’t ask questions like that, Dora. Emily might hear.’

      ‘Not at this distance, she won’t,’ Dora replied.

      They were sitting at the small plastic table setting outside their communal laundry, which was a good way from where Emily was happily playing in her fig-tree cubby house.

      Jessie sighed. ‘Yes, I did,’ she confessed.

      ‘Good,’ Dora pronounced. ‘He’s a really nice man.’

      Jessie clenched her teeth hard in her jaw lest she open her mouth and say something to disillusion Dora.

      ‘And he really likes Emily,’ Dora added.

      ‘He divorced his wife because he didn’t want children,’ Jessie couldn’t resist throwing into the conversation.

      ‘What? Are you sure about that?’

      ‘Positive. He told me so himself.’

      ‘Strange. He doesn’t act like a man who doesn’t like children. He’s very patient, for starters. And kind.’

      ‘Maybe he just doesn’t like babies. Emily is not a baby.’

      ‘True. But that’s a shame. I thought he might have been the one.’

      ‘Which one is that?’

      ‘The one who’ll marry you and be a father to Emily. She’s very keen on that idea, you know.’

      No, Jessie didn’t know. ‘You mean, on having a father? She’s never spoken about it to me. Emily hasn’t missed out on anything, not having a father,’ she argued defensively.

      ‘How do you know? She’s a deep little thinker, your Emily. She sees other fathers coming to pick up their children at the day-care centre. She might have been wanting a father for ages, but didn’t want to say anything to upset you. She loves her mummy a great deal but I think she’d love to have a daddy, too. That’s why Kane’s been such a big hit with her. And why she asked if you two were going to get married last night.’

      Jessie’s heart turned over. It was already happening, what she’d feared all along. If she kept seeing Kane, Emily was going to get more and more attached to him and one day, poof, he’d be gone and her little girl would be broken-hearted. Her own broken heart she could cope with. She was a grown-up. But how could you explain to a four-year-old that adult relationships didn’t always end in marriage? They usually just ended.

      ‘He wants to take me and Emily out this Sunday,’ Jessie said with a worried frown on her face. ‘I’m going to have to call him and tell him no.’ She should never have said yes in the first place. She was weak, weak, weak!

      ‘But why, for pity’s sake?’

      ‘Because it’s not fair on Emily, letting her think he really likes her. It’s not Emily he wants, Dora. It’s just me.’

      ‘You don’t know that. Ask him.’

      ‘No. He’ll only lie to me.’

      Dora looked at her with shocked eyes. ‘I knew you were cynical, Jessie. I didn’t realise you were that cynical. For what it’s worth, I think you’re making a big mistake. He’s a nice man and deserves a chance. Not only that, you deserve a chance. And Emily, too. Don’t make hasty decisions. Give your relationship with Kane a bit of time. OK, so it might not work out, but if you don’t try you’ll never know. Life can be cruel but it can also be wonderful. You have to believe that or life isn’t worth living. I was very lonely and depressed till you and Emily came along. In fact, I was in danger of being a miserable old witch of a woman, I was so full of regrets and resentments. But you brought some light into my life. You and Emily. You’re a lovely girl, Jessie Denton, but where men are concerned you’re way too hard. And way too distrustful. I’ve seen a lot of life and I’d put my money on Kane being a decent man. He might even change his mind about having children now that he’s become involved with you and Emily. People can change, you know.’

      Jessie didn’t think that a man who divorced his wife over that single issue was likely to change. At the same time, she supposed she was being a bit hard on him. He’d really been wonderfully warm and considerate last night. He had the capacity to be a sensitive new-age guy as well; he was very capable in the kitchen. And he could give a massage like a professional. He made a great boyfriend and lover, even if not a husband and father.

      She’d be out of her mind to voluntarily give him up. Just the thought of never experiencing again what she’d experienced last night made her feel sick. At the same time, she had to make some firm ground rules between them. No pretend family

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