LITMIR.BIZ

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Sarah started singing “My Favorite Things.” Connor slid down on the sofa. Laura joined in the tune, then got up and grabbed Sarah, spinning her around, laughing. Becky joined in, as well.

      When they’d finished dancing around the room, and bugging Connor whenever they got the chance, his attitude picked up slightly.

      Becky relished the fact that Laura had such a positive effect on her kids. She knew Connor was just as thrilled as Sarah to see his cousin, but he purposely didn’t want to show too much enthusiasm. However, it was almost impossible when Laura was in the room. It was as if he was fighting against his true self and couldn’t trust his own emotions. As if he was afraid to be happy.

      It tore Becky apart.

      At least so far it didn’t seem to be affecting his schoolwork, and he still participated in some school activities, so she didn’t think he needed a therapist yet. However, if this family cruise didn’t change his somber disposition, she had already decided to make an appointment with a good family therapist when they returned home.

      “I think I’m going to find the pendant and we’re going to be the luckiest family in the whole world,” Sarah announced.

      The chances of them finding the pendant were next to zero, Becky figured, but Laura’s enthusiasm was infectious. Becky wished, for Connor’s sake, that by some miracle the kids would find the pendant.

      “This is bogus,” Connor mumbled. “We can think positive thoughts for the next million years and we still won’t be able to find it.”

      “No deadbeats allowed,” Laura insisted, grabbing hold of Connor again and tickling his belly. He smiled briefly, but then turned away. Becky knew Laura was working her happy magic on him, and the ice was at least melting around the edges. “Come on, Connor, have a little faith, at least for a few hours. You don’t want to break our positive vibes, do you?”

      Connor shrugged.

      “I sometimes believe six impossible things before breakfast,” Sarah said.

      Connor stared at his sister then rolled his eyes. Becky knew how much he hated it when she quoted from Alice In Wonderland. It was one of those movies Sarah had watched over and over until Becky couldn’t take it anymore and had actually pretended to lose the darn thing for two whole weeks. When she found it again, Sarah was into The Little Mermaid, thank you very much.

      “Tell you what,” Laura said to Sarah. “What would make you the happiest right now?”

      Sarah thought for a moment. “Swimming!”

      “I don’t think we can do that right now, so what else?”

      She thought again. “A really big chocolate ice cream cone with sprinkles.”

      “That’s something we can do,” Laura confirmed. She turned toward Connor. “And what would make you happy?”

      “Nothing,” Connor grumbled.

      “Come on, Connor. There must be something.”

      “No. I don’t want to.”

      “You don’t want to be happy?” Laura argued.

      “No. I don’t want to play your stupid game,” he announced, and stomped into the bathroom and shut the door.

      “Connor,” Becky called after him, but the only thing she heard was the lock turning in the door. Laura gave Becky a quizzical glance, but Becky didn’t respond.

      “Pickles. Those great big sour ones,” Sarah said, her eyes dancing.

      “Pickles?” Laura asked.

      “Connor loves pickles,” Becky told her.

      “Then let’s get you a double-scoop ice cream cone and Connor the biggest pickle on the entire ship.” Laura grabbed Sarah’s hand and headed for the door then stopped. “If that’s okay with your mom.” She looked at Becky.

      “It’s perfect,” Becky said, “In the meantime I’ll stay here with Connor and we’ll unpack.”

      Sarah looked up at her mother. “Tell him he can have the bed next to the wall if he wants. I don’t care.” And with that, she and Laura went skipping out of the cabin, leaving Becky alone with Connor.

      Suddenly, Becky realized the ship was moving. It was almost surreal. She glanced out the sliding-glass doors that opened onto the huge, private patio. Not only were they moving, they were well away from port and headed out into open water.

      She had wanted to be on deck with the kids when they sailed away, a glass of champagne in her hand, toasting this cruise meant to appease her mother-in-law and somehow bring her son out of his shell. But instead she was in her cabin, alone, with no champagne in sight, and a somber Connor locked in the cabin’s bathroom. She sighed, knowing it would be a few minutes before he’d emerge. Becky had learned to let him have his quiet time. Time to think. But she was worried her ten-year-old spent way too much time thinking.

      She gazed out the sliders. At least the view was spectacular. Dusk had descended and the sky was ablaze with color, the lights from Miami fading in the distance, but Becky didn’t seem to really care. The person who now held the power to make this trip work or turn it into a complete nightmare wasn’t Estelle, it was Connor. Becky was terrified that she’d lost her sweet son, and she had no idea how to find him again.

      Connor walked out of the bathroom, staring down at the floor. His smile was gone, replaced with his usual scowl.

      “Your sister said you could have the bed next to the wall,” Becky told him.

      “Whatever,” Connor mumbled. But Becky could see that he was happy about the turn of events. She watched as he pulled his suitcase closer to the bed, unzipped it and began sorting out his clothes.

      While Connor figured out just what drawers he wanted, Becky continued to unpack her own bag. Connor was a neat freak, as his dad had been, and it would take him the next couple of hours just to make sure all his clothes were lined up properly in the drawers and in the small closet.

      He liked to keep his clothes color-coordinated, and his shoes lined up according to usage, with his flip-flops closest to the door. Clothes were never something he took for granted, but a statement of his mood, and lately Connor favored camouflage military attire. However, when he’d packed he’d taken along one orange tee, which Becky saw him hang in the back of his closet. She couldn’t figure out why he’d brought it along. She knew he would never wear something so bright.

      The suite had ample closet space, but Becky had packed light. When she carefully hung up her turquoise cocktail dress, a memory flashed of the day she’d bought it for the company Christmas party. She hadn’t wanted to go, but Ryder had insisted saying it was good for them to get to know some of his employees at Wireless Technologies. They had actually shopped for the dress together, and when she’d tried it on, his eyes had lit up and she’d known she’d found the right dress.

      Afterward, they had hurried home before Connor had to be picked up from preschool. They had made love on the stairs leading up to their bedroom. The buttons on her silk shirt had popped off, and Ryder hadn’t even bothered to remove his pants.

      When they were both spent, they lay sprawled across the steps, Ryder’s knees and shins sporting rug burns and her own elbows a little raw. Memories of the waves of pleasure that had surged through her still brought a flush to her cheeks. She was convinced that had been the precise moment she’d conceived Sarah.

      The turquoise dress never did get worn for the company Christmas party. Estelle and Mark, who owned and ran the company, had sent Ryder to New Jersey on urgent business, so Becky had made her excuses to Estelle. But Estelle had insisted she make an appearance for Ryder’s sake, and even sent over a car on the night of the party.

      But Becky was stronger than both Ryder and his sister Kim. She knew how to say no to Estelle and mean it.

      As her fingers touched the dress, a classic style, it slipped

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