LITMIR.BIZ

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with a pretty face as you appear to be.’

      ‘That’s a rather bizarre avenue for you to take just to avoid a simple question,’ he said, standing up in that fluid way he had of moving. The grace and co-ordination of a jungle cat, she realised, momentarily diverted; strength masked by totally misleading indolence. Looking at his face, seeing no sign of anger at her comment, just an even more frightening absence of expression that was inhumanly cold, she wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly aware of the chill of the night.

      ‘Could you be asking me to offer proof of my masculinity?’ he asked, as though he were discussing the weather.

      ‘L-Luke!’ she stuttered, alarmed at his response to her unthinking gibe. It had never occurred to her that Luke was in any way effeminate; the idea was incredibly absurd! She’d just been hitting back without considering the fact that this target was unlikely to sit still and take the abuse. ‘Now who’s being absurd?’ she said, trying to sound firm and in control of the situation.

      ‘Male vanity is a very tender thing, Emmy,’ he purred, taking, much to her alarm, another step in her direction. ‘It should be nurtured.’

      ‘Tender my foot; you’re as fragile as the average steel bar, and about as insensitive too.’ The idea that she could pierce his impenetrable hide made her realise he had to be reacting like this just to frighten her. If she had been less distracted she’d have realised this straight away. She knew him, of course, but it occurred to her that the knowledge she had was quite superficial.

      He’d been at school when she had been a small child—with her own brother, Paul, but not of course at the same school. A second-class school was as far as her father’s obligation to his adoptive cousin’s child went. It wasn’t as if she’d actually been real family, he was fond of reminding them at frequent intervals. Luke’s mother’s background had been a mystery. How had she repaid their generosity? With Luke, a cruel but, in her father’s eyes, predictable outcome to such a foolish action. She had rejected all the advantages bestowed upon her and had chosen to raise her son single-handed, turning her back on the adoptive parents who had rejected her. It had of course been a source of intense frustration to her parents when Luke, the cuckoo in the nest, had outshone their own cosseted heir in every field. Both young men had gone on to the same university, but Luke had gone on a scholarship and her brother had scraped in.

      Her brother, while not her favourite person, was still her brother and her attitude to Luke owed much to his resentment. He’d slaved away, at least so he’d told them, and Luke had mixed with undesirable elements, getting involved in numerous dissident activities, and had still managed to emerge the other side with a first. The details to her young mind had meant little, but she could understand the seething frustration and dislike her brother had felt.

      In retrospect, she was glad Luke had incredibly refused the offer of a post in the merchant bank her grandfather had created. He had never fitted snugly into her world; their relationship was tenuous; he was a connection rather than family. Even without the blood tie it made him the proverbial black sheep, who hadn’t had the decency to be a failure. At the time it had caused a minor furore. ‘After all we’ve done for him’ and ‘bad blood will out’ had been two phrases she recalled being bandied about a good deal. But at least Paul hadn’t had to start his career under the shadow of his cousin’s flair and undoubted ability.

      At the time it had been decided and, she suspected, fervently hoped that Luke would regret his arrogant assumption that he could make his own way without the cushioning secunty of the family. He hadn’t, of course, and, though his visits were not frequent, he kept in touch as much to flaunt his success as his unconventional lifestyle which was anathema to her tradition-bound household.

      It hit her in that split-second as she opened her mouth to denounce Luke’s tactics and total lack of feeling. The corrosive impact of all she had lost in a few moments made her fight for air and go deathly pale. All her dreams…plans. And the humiliation. How long had they…? She tormented herself with the knowledge that while she had discussed the wedding plans with Charlotte, her sister had been…She closed her eyes, a deep cry of distress wrenched from her throat.

      ‘Don’t faint!’ The voice sounded faintly impatient and the hands that forced her into a sitting position and pushed her head between her knees were ruthlessly efficient but not very gentle.

      Emily took several deep gulps and the singing in her ears retreated to the distance. She raised her head cautiously.

      ‘I never had you pegged as the swooning sort.’

      She glared hazily at the harsh features of her companion and swore. ‘It’s not every day I find my boyfriend prefers my sister. I realise vulnerability isn’t a familiar term to you,’ she snarled. Considering that the first book he’d published had made her weep unashamedly, he really was the most inhumane person she had ever met. She recalled the stark black and white pictures, each with a few succinct and touching lines illustrating, without the need of lengthy dialogue, the inequality between the children scattered over the globe, their fates sealed by the arbitrary hand of geography.

      ‘You’ll get over it.’

      This announcement made her abandon her attempt to puzzle the paradox of Luke’s personality; the depth of sensitivity and compassion for human vulnerability she’d seen in those pictures, and the cynical man who had the viperous tongue and barbarous humour with which he heartlessly annihilated others with what seemed like arbitrary cruelty. ’that’s the future; it’s now I’m concerned about.’ Her confused eyes collided with the startling blue gaze, not expecting to find an answer to her dilemma. ‘What am I going to do?’ she said bleakly, half to herself.

      ‘No one’s going to blame you.’

      She blinked, hurt by the unspoken implication that she was in some way to blame. The innuendo in his voice she could normally cope with, but her emotions felt too close to the surface, vulnerable to every nuance. ‘I suppose that’s what everyone will think—it was my fault that he went with Charlotte. I can see it now. I wasn’t woman enough…’ The knowing glances, the speculation and the pity too. ‘I don’t want pity.’

      ‘I won’t give you any,’ he assured her. ‘It seems to me you’re indulging in just about all you can handle. I hope you don’t mind my pointing it out, Emily, but when you start to wallow in self-pity you get this unattractive whining note in your voice.’ He patted her head. ‘You might keep it in mind.’

      She flinched away furiously. ‘You are loathsome… a reptile,’ she told him with deep conviction.

      He grinned, not noticeably daunted by the announcement. ‘I’m only trying to be helpful.’

      ‘Then go walk under a bus,’ she said childishly. The moment the words were out she realised what she had said. ‘Oh, God! I didn’t mean…’ Agitated, her hand went to her mouth. ‘I was just…’

      ‘You think it might be hereditary, do you, infant? I assure you I have no suicidal tendencies at present.’

      ‘You can’t know it was suicide.’ For a moment her own dilemma receded, and she rushed on, anxious to redress any unintentional wound she’d inflicted. ‘Your mother was ill, the witnesses couldn’t tell whether she fell or, or…’ Her eyes slid away from the sapphire gaze.

      ‘Stepped out deliberately,’ he supplied without a hint of emotion in his voice. ’my mother stepped out all right.’

      ‘Luke, you can’t know,’ she protested, instinctively reaching out and clasping his arm.

      His eyes were hard and his expression sombrely composed—the combination made her heart thud painfully as he looked directly at her. ’she stepped out, but it wasn’t suicide…it was murder, Emily,’ he continued, ignoring her horrific gasp. ‘Your father killed her as surely as if he’d driven a kmfe into her heart, in fact, the latter would have been kinder.’

      She stepped back a pace. ’that’s a wicked thing to say.’

      ‘My dear Emmy, you don’t even

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