LITMIR.BIZ

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“Yeah, congratulations on that.”

      “Change your mind about coffee? I’m harmless. Just looking for a friend.”

      Summer grinned. She had a thing for damaged guys, had dated a couple, attracted by their need, naively thinking she could help them. But she’d discovered that damaged guys made really poor partners. All their energy went into coping with just being themselves. “No, thanks. But I’ll see you around, I’m sure. Carmia’s a small place.”

      “Yeah, maybe some other time.” He looked so sweet and hopeful she felt herself softening.

      “Maybe.”

      “Let me know when you’re ready. I’m a patient guy.”

      She doubted that. But she did feel bad for him. She understood loneliness, how it could alter your perception of everything, from how you felt about yourself to how you felt about the weather. And she understood that impulse, when you felt adrift, to latch onto someone who was firmly anchored.

      “See ya.” Luke backed up a few steps, putting his sunglasses back on. Then he gave her an I’m-so-cool thumbs-up and barely missed bumping into the door on his way out.

      Summer smiled, preferring his clumsy moments to the pretentious ones. At least they were real. He was probably the kind of kid she’d be seeing on her figurative couch someday. It wouldn’t be bad to talk to him, see if she could figure out what made him tick. It would be like preparation for her university program even without more than a course or two under her belt.

      And she could count on Zac to keep him in line if he ever stepped over it.

      In the meantime she’d have to forget that he was, in his own cocky and slightly pathetic way, really, really cute. Her life plan included relationships, but she was looking for someone mature, ambitious, respectful, supportive and able to love openly and deeply. Gorgeous and built wouldn’t hurt, but it wasn’t as important.

      Too bad Zac was out of her league. And from what she’d seen of the way he looked at Chris...not likely to change.

      But his brother... She turned away from the counter, looking for something to do to keep herself occupied until the next customer came in, still feeling light and fizzy, thinking about the way Luke looked at her, how hard he’d tried to be a tough guy, yet how easily he’d admitted to his flaws and his efforts to fix them.

      With Zac’s brother she’d have to be careful.

3

      “FOUR TOTALLY HOT guys asked you out on Monday? In one hour?”

      “Yes.” Chris sat in a half lotus on the rug in Eva’s living room, breathing calmly, waiting while Eva shouted the news to Ames—they’d just gotten back to Ames’s luxury Manhattan apartment after a movie and late-night dinner. Ames had been a regular at NYEspresso and had tried to go out with Chris before he met Eva and totally changed his idea of the perfect mate.

      “I still can’t believe it. How many dates did you agree to go on?”

      “None.”

       “What?”

      Chris had to pull the phone away from her ear. Her twin lived large in every way. “Well, none yet. I mean, they were all right there watching me. It was completely weird.”

      “Okay, but you didn’t actually say no to any of them.”

      “I barely said anything.” She stood, centering herself, trying to distribute her weight evenly. “I think I was in shock.”

      Her sister giggled. “I’m not surprised. So which hot hunk o’ man flesh are you going to start with?”

      “Gus.” Chris didn’t have to see Eva’s face scrunched into incredulity to know what she looked like.

      “Gus? Are you kidding me? No offense, Chris, but I’d pick any of the others over Gus, even not ever having seen Luke, who if you ask me shouldn’t be in the running because he’s a mere babe. I would definitely pick Zac first.”

      No, not Zac. Chris tipped her head to one side, feeling her neck muscles lengthen and relax. “Gus is a sweetheart.”

      “He’s a sweetheart, yes. A sweetheart with no brain.”

      Chris grimaced. Eva was sort of right. But around Gus she could hang on to her Zen-like calm. Bodie was too overwhelmingly sexy, Eva was right about Luke being ridiculously young, even younger than Gus, and Zac...

      Chris was many things around Zac, but calm never seemed to be one of them. He seemed to push a button that made her revert to her combative, overly judgmental and high-strung former self.

      “I owe Gus. We had one pretty awful date when I first moved out here. I promised him a second chance, but he didn’t collect until now.”

      “Months and months later. Don’t you think that’s extremely weird?”

      “He’s a guy.” Chris tipped her head to the other side. Breathe in. Breathe out. “An ambitious surfer who’s been busy catching waves. Maybe he’s been dating someone else. I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter to me.”

      “Wow, Chris, you sound about as excited about this date as someone looking forward to an IRS audit. I’m worried about you.”

      Chris rolled her eyes. Once again Eva refused to clue in to her new outlook on life. “No, it will be fun. I’m looking forward to spending time with him.”

      Eva sighed. “Ames is telling me to butt out.”

      “Ames is a very smart man.”

      “When have I ever butted out of anything? If you ask me—”

      “I didn’t.”

      “—you are depressed. You really need to start—”

      “Depressed?” Chris’s head snapped upright; she jammed one hand onto her hip. “Eva, this is nothing like depression. I’m trying for something I’ve never had in my entire life, total contentment and total confidence in my ability to give up control and just be in the moment.”

      “I get that.” Eva’s voice gentled. “Really, I do. It just...doesn’t sound like you.”

      Chris closed her eyes, let her arm drop and recentered her body, trying to maintain mental equilibrium. It occurred to her suddenly that her twin might just be disoriented by the changes. She tried to think how she’d feel if their positions were reversed and Eva started behaving differently. It would certainly be confusing and frightening. Maybe Chris would react negatively, too. “People change, Eva.”

      “They don’t change that much. Not fundamentally.”

      “Trust me, I’m more me than I ever have been.” She glanced at her watch, trying to ignore Eva’s exasperated snort, though it hurt a little. “I have to go. Gus is picking me up in a couple of minutes.”

      “Now? It must be after ten there.”

      “What, do I have a curfew?”

      “Sorry. I’m sorry. You’re just not a late-night person... Right, I know, you’re changing. Well, have fun. Don’t do anything stupid like fall for him.”

      “Om Saha Naavavatu. If the crystals align, and my chakra bids me to do it, I just might.”

      “Uh...Chris? You’re really scaring me.”

      Chris’s laughter died into dismay. “Eva, I was kidding. I don’t really talk like that, and I’m not going to fall in love with Gus. Please don’t worry about me. I’m really fine.”

      “But— Oh. Ames is telling me to butt out again. I’ll let you go. Have fun.”

      “Thanks, Eva.”

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