LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter 1

      The smell of stale air and cleaning chemicals lingered as Lily Masterson left Montana State Prison. Sunlight made her blink a few times, bringing her out of a fog of hugely unsettling emotions. She couldn’t even begin to categorize them. Her nerves were a jumbled tangle of friction. Her stomach still churned. Her heart still beat heavily. A sob lodged in her throat. She hated that.

      “Maybe you should wait a few minutes before you drive back to Honey Creek,” the victims’ officer said.

      Lily didn’t know what a typical prison worker was supposed to look like, but this one resembled more of a schoolmarm with her short, curly brown hair, round glasses and short, plump frame. The woman had met her at the prison entrance when she’d first arrived and stayed close through the parole hearing.

      “I’m fine.” It was a lie, but all she wanted was to get away from this place.

      “Are you sure? Most victims don’t come to these hearings alone. We usually meet them somewhere in town and drive them here.”

      Well, Lily wasn’t like most people, then. She refused to succumb to that kind of weakness. It made her helpless, and she wasn’t.

      “Yes, I’m sure. Thanks for asking.”

      The truth was she’d barely made it through the hearing. While one part of her struggled with the reminder of the trauma she’d suffered, the other was mad as hell. She’d thought she was over this by now. Facing Brandon Gates shouldn’t have been as hard as it had been. That’s the part that made her mad. Why was she crumbling after she’d worked so hard to be strong? She’d gone through extensive therapy and aggressive self-defense classes. She’d picked herself up and started a new life and damn it, no one was going to take that away from her. Not again.

      But being that close to Brandon Gates for the first time in fifteen years had thrown her. Crushed her. Talking about how he’d violated her and its devastating effect on her while he stared across the room like a dead deer was even worse. He hadn’t looked at her, but his demeanor, his presence, still bothered her.

      The victims’ officer kept pace beside her. Lily thought she’d walk her to the exit and then let her be on her way, but apparently the woman was going to escort her all the way to her truck. Lily didn’t want that. She’d talked to the woman before the hearing and they’d had a nice conversation, but it was time to leave.

      “I can make it from here,” she told the woman with a forced smile.

      “Sometimes seeing them after so long is more disturbing than you think, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly natural to feel that way.”

      Lily was sure the officer had seen a lot of women break down after testifying at their rapist’s parole hearing, but she didn’t want to be one of them. “I’m fine, thanks.”

      Lily walked with the officer a few more steps and then stopped. The officer stopped, too, and seemed to understand Lily’s growing impatience.

      She handed her a business card. “All right, but if you need to talk to anyone, just give me a call. I can help you find someone good.”

      Lily took the card even though she had no intention of using this. She’d already gone through therapy. She refused to depend on that again. She’d moved on. This was just a minor setback. Chances were he wouldn’t be released anyway. What board would do that after hearing her testimony?

      “You’ll be notified of the board’s decision in about a week. Maybe less.”

      Lily nodded with another forced smile and started walking again. “You take

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