LITMIR.BIZ

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unease pumping through my system.

      “Hey,” he replied, blowing past me with barely a glance and heading up the stairs.

      Once he turned on the second landing to ascend the next flight, I followed suit, slowly climbing the steps as if my body were weighted down with the thoughts whirling through my head.

      The first woman to believe in me. I mean really believe in me. To the tune of twenty-five large.

      It was like a sick fucking joke. It was, in fact, the story of my life. The minute I finally get somewhere, the bottom falls out. Like my last start-up, which crashed about five minutes after I finally got some good people on board. Now I lose my first big investor on the brink of signing my first promising band.

      Then I remembered that, in the envelope I clutched in one sweaty hand as I trudged up the steps, I still had the investment.

      Yeah, I really had lost it. That check wasn’t any good now, was it?

      I reached my apartment door, sliding the envelope under one arm to somehow camouflage it, as I headed through the door.

      Doug was now on the couch with Lou—short for Louise, though she looked more like a Lou, with a short, butch haircut and shoulders of a linebacker. Doug, who was about six-one and slender as a rail, liked his women large, and Lou was no exception. They made kind of a funny couple, especially right now, swaddled together within an afghan with a box of Pop-Tarts, watching TV. Doug looked up from where he’d been nuzzling Lou’s neck. “Did you get your package?”

      “Yeah, I got it,” I said. No thanks to you. “Don’t you guys have to go to work today?” Doug and Lou worked together in IT support and were usually nine-to-fivers, not that I begrudged Doug that. He always paid his rent on time. But right now, I needed to be alone.

      “Nah, man. This weekend is the Fourth of July and Lou and I had a few floaters, so we figured we’d get an early start on the weekend.”

      Great, I thought heading straight for my room, filled with the reminder that not only did I have a check I couldn’t cash, but I had blown a wad of cash on a beach house I wasn’t even sure I was going to see again.

      Once inside the privacy of my room, I nearly stumbled over a pair of shoes I had left lying in the middle of the floor as I reached for the remote on my stereo to shut out a refrain of Metallica’s “Am I Evil?” before I had to give the question the first real consideration I’d given it since I was a teenaged metalhead.

      I sat on the bed, dumping the contents of the envelope once more, letting the sheaf of papers flutter free from their clip and grabbing the check.

      Twenty-five thousand dollars. I could do a lot with that money. Like sign my first band, get Lance back on board, finally get this show off the ground. Hell, I’d still have money left over for expenses.

      It was almost too good to be true.

      It was too good to be true. There was no way I could cash that check. I mean, it probably wasn’t even good anymore now that Maggie was…

      I studied the check, which was also dated June 9th. Two days before Maggie…

      Which meant that it was probably still good. I mean, it’s not like Kismet Market wouldn’t be cashing her check for all the food she’d purchased that Friday night.…

      Okay, now that I was officially disgusted with myself, I got up, headed to the desk and, without even thinking, clicked on the e-mail from Bern, as if to ground myself. Skimming past the first paragraph, which went on about how we didn’t have a future together (it was her usual refrain in letters of this type), I came to the part where she went on to wish me well. Because she always wished me well.

      

      I never want to be the one to cast a shadow on your dreams. Your dreams, your intelligence, your integrity—it’s these things that I love most about you. And in order not to destroy the memory of how good we were together once—how good you are and always will be—we need to make a clean break. I love you, Nick. I always have and I know I always will.…

      

      See? I’m not evil. Bern loves me. And Bern is good. So good. Do you know Bern used to volunteer for Big Sisters? God, I love that woman. She kills me with these letters. Kills me.

      Maybe I’ll call her later.

      My eye fell on the e-mail from Lance, which I’d left in my in-box, hoping to take the time to prepare a properly scathing reply for bailing on me.

      But he wouldn’t bail on me if I cashed the check. I mean, I could just try it. See if it worked. I studied the check once more, noticing that only Maggie’s name appeared on it and remembering how she had leaned into me, her eyes glistening, her breath warm on my ear as she whispered, “Let’s just keep this between us, okay?” Which meant this was Maggie’s own money she was investing. She was free to do what she wanted with it, I thought, my gaze falling on the massive business plan that still lay in a heap on my bed.

      Reaching over, I picked up the first page, which was a Power Point presentation outlining the various steps, with special fonts and colors—the works. Clearly this woman needed to get a life.

      Shit. I didn’t mean that like it sounded.

      I skimmed the page, which outlined her ideas for the first phase.

      Not bad, not bad. Not that I hadn’t thought about this stuff already.

      I looked back at my screen at Lance’s e-mail message, taunting me, beckoning me. Then nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of the cheerful musical tone that alerted me I had a new message.

      Sage, I thought, seeing the familiar [email protected] address pop up in my in-box and feeling a prickle up my spine at the subject line: “Maggie’s Dream.”

      Fucking weird, right?

      I clicked on the message.

      

      Hey, guys,

      Looks like we’re on for the beach this weekend. See below. xoxo Sage

      

      I scrolled down to find an e-mail she had forwarded to me and Zoe from Tom.

      

      Sage,

      Thanks for all your help holding the fort while I took care of things. I’m off to Chicago to deal with that buyer from Wentworth’s, so we’ll catch up at the beach this weekend. The weather is supposed to be fabulous! Just perfect for the annual Fourth of July bash.

      Tom

      

      Tom was opening the house. This weekend. Not only opening the house, but having a fucking party.

      Clearly Maggie’s husband had no qualms about living in Maggie’s Dream now that his beloved wife was gone.

      And I wondered why I should have any qualms about keeping Maggie’s other dream alive.

      After all, it was the least I could do for the poor woman, right?

      9

      Maggie

       It’s like a nightmare. Only, I won’t be waking up.

      That bastard. I can’t believe he’s opening the house. My house. Okay, he bought it, but he bought it for me. During the second year of our marriage. It was probably his last act of love.

      Now it just seemed like a cruel joke.

      Look at Sage in my kitchen. Already mixing up the pot lids and creating chaos in my recipe-filing system. Who the fuck does she think she is?

      This is my house. Nothing can change that. Not even death.

      Of course, that’s going to be a little hard for me to enforce. Already I could see my marigolds, the sweet little plants I’d potted on the front deck only weeks ago, dying from neglect.

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