LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

feed or hold her when she cried.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’d have been more emotional if I’d known her the past two years. She and I could have shared a lot—like our physical therapy classes.”

      Like a balloon pricked, the fight went out of Sam. “You’re right.” Her eyes closed over tears; she looked lost, defeated…and he remembered the reports from the detective. If he’d gone through hell in Mbuka and during recuperation, her life hadn’t been anyone’s picnic. Yet she’d not only survived, she’d adapted, changed her life for their child’s sake and made a success of it.

      He sighed, rubbing his brow. “I’m having a hard time with this. I thought you’d at least be glad that I’m alive.”

      “I am. I am!” she cried, looking wretched. “But I feel like a mouse that can’t get off one of those treadmills. I didn’t expect this. I had no notice you were coming—”

      “Would you still be here if I’d given you notice?” he asked with all the force of the cynicism he felt welling inside.

      She drew in a quick breath. “I don’t know,” she admitted with all the frankness he’d once loved in her. “I don’t know why you’re here. What do you want from me, Brett?”

      Everything. But he’d be an idiot to say it now; he wasn’t even sure if it was true. What he’d planned for and dreamed of for so many years had been coming home to his Sam. But while this woman looked like his Sam, sounded like her, she sure as hell didn’t act like her. He wanted his wife, the life and family he’d dreamed of sharing with her.

      So he chose the easy option. “I want to see my daughter, Sam. I want to spend time with her, to go places with her—”

      But stark terror flashed through her eyes. “You can’t take her anywhere without me. She—she doesn’t know you. She doesn’t take well to strangers. You have to see her with me here.”

      He frowned, feeling the emotional undercurrents pulling him into unknown waters. “For now, I just want to meet her, Sam.”

      “So long as you know,” she muttered.

      “That’s fine—for now,” he said, refusing to pull his punches. “But Casey has a family she’s never met. I want to take her to Melbourne and let my parents and sister spend time with her. My parents are really anxious to meet her. She has cousins, too—”

      “No!”

      The gritted snarl jolted him.

      Brett stared at her white face, her burning eyes, and knew that whatever Sam’s problem was, they were near the heart of it. “You can’t deny Casey’s right to a relationship with her family. You know how badly that could affect the rest of her life.”

      Sam strode over to him, her face almost completely white and her eyes almost black with an emotion he hadn’t been able to define until now. It was panic—blind panic. “You’re not taking her from me, Brett.”

      It was obvious that by her intense reaction to his request, something was missing in this scenario. “I never said I wanted to take her from you, Sam. I only want her to meet her family. Is that such an unreasonable thing to ask?”

      “M-maybe not,” she said, her voice throbbing with hidden fear. “But you can’t take her anywhere without me. Where she goes, I go.”

      Wishing he could shake the confusion right out of his head, he frowned at her. “Why are you talking about this? I haven’t even met Casey.”

      Sam, so pale moments before, flushed again, soft and rosy. With her curls drying around her face, she looked so much—so damn much—like the angelic Sam he’d fallen in love with all those years ago, he ached.

      “I know,” she muttered, looking at her feet. “But if your parents want grandchildren to fuss over, you can find another woman easily and have the sort of family, the sort of children your family will—” She skidded to a halt, looking confused and guilty.

      Not half as confused as he felt just by looking at her. She was blurting out what was on her mind now, as he’d planned; but none of it made sense to him. He was lost in looking at her. She was so sweet, so pretty in her confusion, he ached. Ached to turn back the clock and change choices that had been set in stone before he’d met her. Ached to haul her close and tumble down the barriers she’d put up between them.

      The thought of making love to her made him burn inside, so fierce and hot that he had to force his mind back to the real issue. He needed to be calm and focused. “Casey deserves to know who she is. This isn’t about your past, Sam,” he added gently, knowing how hard this would hit her. But someone had to tell her, and he was the only father Casey had.

      Unless Sam has found another man and Casey has already accepted him as her father?

      “This is about Casey and her needs,” he went on, ignoring the dark coils of jealousy that sprang up at the thought of another man touching Sam. “Why isn’t she the sort of child my family will welcome? I know they can be a bit snobbish about dress and appearance, but they’ve never stopped me doing what I want with my life. They’re dying to meet Casey. They have a room full of presents for her, stuff recommended by the Royal Blind Society. They want to meet her so badly. She’s their granddaughter, Sam, their flesh and blood.”

      After a moment, she sighed. He saw her hands trembling. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she muttered low. “It’s not that…”

      “Then what is it? You said she’d asked about me. Are you trying to keep me from her, Sam? Would you deprive her of her father, of her family heritage, so you won’t be alone?”

      At that he saw the faltering of that fierce lioness, saw her resistance stumble, leaving a crack of vulnerability shining through.

      “If she finds out the truth one day—that she has a whole family in Melbourne that you’ve kept from her—she’ll resent the hell out of you for keeping her from them. Casey deserves to experience the love of extended family that’s every kid’s right. You should understand that, Sam. Do you still lie awake at night wondering who you are, wondering where your mother is and why she left you? Why your dad didn’t hang around?” He waited a moment, but she didn’t reply. “I know you do, Sam. Everyone wants to know who they are. Are you going to deny that security to Casey just so you won’t be alone anymore?”

      She looked up at that; her eyes flashed. “You don’t understand.”

      “Make me understand,” he said quietly. Trying to see how she’d react to his words.

      Sam turned and walked to the window, looking out at the trees bending in the wind. The storm, which had hovered off-coast for a while, was closing in fast—but it didn’t compare to the turbulence inside her heart. Within minutes of Brett’s return he’d left Sam feeling raw and exposed—and now she felt more vulnerable with each probing word he uttered. On a night when emotional roller coaster didn’t begin to cover the way she felt, she couldn’t speak.

      The laughing, live-for-the-moment Brett she’d adored had become quiet, dark and driven. What had he been through in Mbuka? Instinctively she knew whatever he’d told her so far had only scraped the surface of his suffering. The almost two years of therapy he’d endured showed how close to death he’d come.

      And now his father was ill, in a wheelchair…and it was her fault.

      Given what he’d been through, what his family had been through, she couldn’t tell him about his father’s threat to take Casey from her. Being an orphan who’d never had the priceless treasure of family, a heritage or any sense of belonging, she couldn’t take those threats from Brett. She’d spent her entire life craving what he had. It wasn’t his fault his family didn’t find her good enough for their beloved son. How could she blame them for that, now she had Casey? She wanted the very best for her beautiful girl…

      Brett might be the single greatest threat to her security in Casey’s life and love at this moment, but he’d obviously suffered enough. For the

Скачать книгу