LITMIR.BIZ

      CHAPTER THREE

      WHENEVER SHE WAS ANXIOUS, Marilee baked. That explained the two lemon pound cakes, the chocolate torte and the loaf of banana bread cooling on the kitchen counter. She knew it had something to do with being a minister’s wife for sixteen years. One simply did not visit the sick or bereaved without a cake in tow. And then there were the numerous bake sales and bazaars held every year to raise money for choir robes or the new van to accommodate seniors and the handicapped. Seemed cakes were the veritable frameworks of a thriving church.

      Sixteen years of baking cakes.

      Sixteen years living with Grady.

      You got to know a man pretty well after spending that much time with him. She knew what Grady looked like when he opened his eyes in the morning, and she knew which side of the bed he preferred sleeping on. She knew he liked wearing navy blue because he thought it set off his blond hair. She knew he’d wrestled with the idea of becoming a minister, when what he’d really wanted to do was go into broadcasting. He’d dreamed of having his own radio or TV talk show. He was a born entertainer, he’d told her back in high school. Marilee had to admit he had stage presence—he’d even been selected for the leading role in every school play. But his parents had balked at the idea of him going into broadcasting. After all, he’d grown up in a family of ministers, and he was expected to carry on the tradition.

      Grady had played the dutiful son and enrolled in seminary school, then convinced Marilee to elope with him. It had caused quite a stink with his family; even though they approved of Marilee, they thought the couple far too young to marry, and wanted Grady to complete his education first. In the beginning, Marilee wondered if he’d asked her to marry him just to get back at his parents for forcing him into the ministry, but Grady had seemed so much in love with her that she’d pushed the thought aside. After a while, Grady no longer complained about being in the ministry, and Marilee assumed he was as happy as she.

      It was only recently that he’d begun to second-guess his vocation. Had he kept it to himself all these years? Had he merely pretended to love her? There were so many unanswered questions. Would she ever know the truth?

      That was the past, she reminded herself. As difficult as it was, she had to concentrate on rebuilding her life. Part of that meant Josh. His place was with her. It would be so much easier to hate Grady, but for the life of her she couldn’t. Sure, she hated what he’d done to their family, and she was terrified at the prospect of facing the world alone. Well, she wasn’t entirely alone. There was Winnie to contend with. The girl was presently sprawled on the sofa in the living room watching Jeopardy. She called out her answers, then yelped each time she got them right, causing Marilee to start.

      Her nerves were shot. She felt as if she was about to jump out of her skin. Perhaps if she tried to take it one day at a time—one hour at a time—instead of looking toward the future, which seemed pretty bleak at the moment, she would manage.

      Marilee stared at the chocolate torte cake. She could not keep it in the house or she’d end up eating it. Like that time three years ago, when she thought she was pregnant and went on a chocolate binge. Even then she’d known things weren’t right between her and Grady, but she’d ignored the signs. Anyway, the church kept her so busy she didn’t have time to think about it. There was always something to do, costumes to sew for the Easter pageant or Christmas play, a wedding rehearsal, or a funeral to attend. In the midst of it all, Sunday-school teachers became ill, volunteers for vacation Bible school backed out at the last minute or extra hands were needed to see that the shut-ins received a hot meal each day. It didn’t matter that her husband’s blood pressure had sky-rocketed, that he was unhappy with his calling or that her son was rebelling. Marilee was expected to pick up the pieces when things fell apart at Chickpea Baptist.

      In the meantime, her life had fallen apart.

      Marilee heard movement and glanced up. Winnie stood in the doorway, shaking her head sadly. “Look at the mess in this kitchen. How many cakes are you planning on baking tonight?”

      “I’m going to bake until I run out of ingredients.” That wasn’t likely. She had gone to the grocery store once Clara and Ruby left and had enough baking items on hand to start her own bakery.

      Winnie continued to stare at her. “You’re having a nervous breakdown, aren’t you?”

      Marilee sighed. “No, I’m not having a breakdown. I just prefer staying busy when I have things on my mind. Would you like a slice of pound cake?”

      “No. I figure I’ve had enough junk food today, and I really need to start eating healthy. You know, for the baby. I hope you don’t expect me to clean up this kitchen, because I need to soak in a hot tub. My back is killing me.”

      “I don’t expect you to clean up after me,” Marilee said a little too sharply. She softened her tone. “By the way, do you know your baby’s due date yet?”

      “Christmas.”

      Marilee smiled. “No kidding?”

      “I wish she would come during my two-week break so I don’t have to miss as much school. I’ve had perfect attendance for three years straight.”

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