The Execution - Hugo Wilcken

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Marianne’s buttocks. I might have been wrong, of course, or maybe in the crush his hand had been pushed that way. It annoyed me anyway.

      Then at some point, fairly late on in the evening I think, when quite a few people had already left, Jessica came out. She looked terrified. I supposed that she’d simply woken up disorientated, not recognising where she was, and that’s what had frightened her. She ran up to me immediately, which was strange, because normally if anything’s the matter she goes straight to Marianne and not me. Anyway she hugged my legs and I picked her up and asked her what was wrong.

      ‘Daddy, there’s a dead lady in the other room.’

      ‘Don’t be silly, of course there isn’t!’

      But she just kept on repeating: ‘Yes there is, there’s a dead lady in the other room.’

      Eventually I said: ‘Well, let’s go and have a look then,’ but she buried her head in my shoulder and started to whimper. Just then I spotted Marianne: she was talking to somebody else now and her eyes were sort of glazed over which meant she was drunk and happy. I offloaded Jessica onto her because I wanted to go and have a look in the office. What I thought might have happened was that perhaps some woman had drunk too much and had crawled off to the office and fallen asleep on the floor.

      But there was no one in the office. Jessica must have been making it all up after all. She makes things up sometimes, as a way of attracting attention. Kids do. Nonetheless, something about this ‘dead lady’ business disturbed me, and I sat down on the couch for a few minutes. That was when I noticed the huge slate slab again, with the picture of the sleeping woman painted on it. It’s what must have frightened her. I felt momentarily relieved, but still perplexed.

      It had seemed a little odd to hear Jessica say the word ‘dead’. In fact I’d never heard her say it before. I wondered what exactly she’d meant by it. Maybe she meant the same as sleeping. Then again, that didn’t seem to be the case, because she’d seen Marianne asleep often enough, and that didn’t scare her. I sat on the couch for about ten minutes, thinking about that. Then my mind switched to Jarawa and the campaign: there was his appeal to plan and I started thinking through the details. We needed someone else to liaise with people on the ground, now that Christian was out of action.

      For some reason I’d closed the door to the office. Now it opened. It was Charlotte, the South African woman. She’d been looking for me to say goodbye. Well here I am, I said, and got up off the couch. She was quite red-faced. She said she was glad to have bumped into me again and maybe we could have lunch sometime – maybe she, Marianne and I could all get together. I said I’d like that and got out one of the cards I’d just had printed up, while she rummaged about in her handbag for one of hers. I leaned down to kiss her goodbye, because she’s quite a bit shorter than me. Then I put my hand round her waist and she put hers under my shirt and we started kissing again. We stayed like that for a moment, then we sort of collapsed onto the couch and she slipped her arms out of her dress and we continued to kiss. She was stretched out on top of me, I could feel her breathing and trembling. The rumbling noise from the gallery came and went in waves, punctuated by bursts of laughter. The door was open now and there was a real danger of someone coming in – in a way that merely heightened the sense of pleasure. I hooked my arms round her but she seemed to be in her own world and quite unaware of anything, almost unaware of me as well.

      Then at one point I heard a male voice, I don’t know whose, and it seemed almost next to me, quite separate from the indistinct hum of conversation from beyond the door. It was enough to snap me out of my mesmeric state. I sat up abruptly, put one hand over Charlotte’s mouth, the other over her breasts – I don’t know why – and looked around. But there was no one there; the voice must have been some kind of acoustic trick. Charlotte smiled at me and started kissing me again. She wanted to have sex right there in the office but I said no, we couldn’t. I said I’d give her a ring tomorrow though, if she wanted, and she nodded as I helped her put her bra and dress back on. She got a little mirror out of her bag and mouthed: ‘Oh God.’ It was true her make-up was a bit of a mess now. Instead of fixing it up though, she just wiped it all off with a tissue. Then she wiped the lipstick off my lips and cheeks with another tissue and that felt intimate, more so than our kisses. She reapplied her lipstick, combed her hair back into place, and asked me: ‘Do I look all right?’ I said she looked great. I meant it, because she’d been wearing too much make-up before and somehow looked more real now. She looked quite a bit like Susan Tedeschi, it occurred to me. Physically they’re the same type, in any case. They have the same long, streaky blonde hair, the same high forehead, they’re the same height. This disturbed me for a moment or two, but I dismissed it easily enough.

      Charlotte left. I went out into the gallery about five minutes later. The crowd of people had thinned out considerably. I looked about for Jessica. She’d climbed out of Marianne’s arms and had captured the attention of a young woman in a smart emerald dress. The woman had crouched down to her level, and Jessica was carefully explaining something to her. Then the woman laughed, and Jessica giggled as well. The strange terror had gone from her face.

      We ended up taking a cab home around eleven, since we were both too drunk to drive – although I might have driven anyway, if we hadn’t had Jessica with us. Marianne was flushed with excitement, because the evening had gone really well and she’d sold nine paintings, which is the most she’s ever sold. In the cab, I surprised myself by saying: ‘Who was that guy you were talking to? The middle-aged looking guy. You talked to him for ages.’ I hadn’t realised I was so annoyed by that. ‘Oh him,’ she said, ‘I think he’s a don or a professor or something. He’s just moved to London.’ I said: ‘He certainly seemed very interested in you. I saw him rub against you in a pretty indiscreet way.’ Marianne replied: ‘Really? I don’t think so. He’s more the gentleman type.’ I couldn’t think of anything else to say on the matter, so I let it drop. Marianne hadn’t seemed to notice my annoyance; her exuberance bubbled over into a stream of talk and gossip.

      We got home and while I was putting Jessica to bed, Marianne poured herself a glass of wine, although she was pretty drunk already. She got some cheese and salad stuff out of the fridge for us as well, because we hadn’t had dinner but it was too late to cook now. Then when we’d finished eating, she took off all her clothes and started wandering about the house with her glass of wine, vaguely tidying up, reading bits of newspaper or letters that were lying about, readying herself for bed, taking make-up off, humming, all at the same time. She quite often goes through this routine when she’s drunk. I watched her as she wandered about. I found her beautiful and told her so. She smiled with pleasure and went into the bedroom, while I turned on the TV and watched mindless pop videos. I could hear Jessica talking in her sleep but she seemed quite calm, for a change – lately she’s been assailed by a dream monster most nights. Then finally I went to bed. Marianne was awake and started massaging my back. She was still drunk and excited by the evening’s success and wanted to make love. But I didn’t feel like it for some reason. Jarawa and Jessica’s dead lady kept wandering in and out of my thoughts, which were gradually, seamlessly metamorphosing into dreams.

      Then just before I definitively drifted off to sleep, Marianne said something. It sounded important but I didn’t hear what it was, so with a tremendous effort I turned round and asked her. She said: ‘I’m pregnant again.’ I said I was glad and put my arm round her. I could smell the wine on her breath. We haven’t been trying to have another child, we’ve been using condoms. But I’m pretty sure I know when she conceived. There was one time not so long ago when we were making love and the condom broke. It’s happened once or twice before and I’ve always stopped and put another one on. But this one time I didn’t – I don’t know why. Anyway, Marianne said she’d had a blood test last week and then on Thursday she’d found out she was pregnant. I asked her why she hadn’t told me then, but she said she’d wanted to wait until after the opening. I couldn’t see what that had to do with anything, but it didn’t really matter.

      I spent an hour or two in the library yesterday morning, going through the Jarawa clippings.

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