LITMIR.BIZ

       introduction

      Information Overload!

      Having a child is the most creative thing you can imagine but, for so many, the balance between what we are told to do as responsible parents and what we need to do to maintain an effective and enjoyable life in work and leisure seems to have gone. There are self-help books, theories, courses, experts, gurus galore, all with something to say, demanding attention. The driving aim of my work is to help couples to make sense of the maze – to gain a better understanding of where they are and how to move forward, practically – and it gives me the greatest pleasure.

      Let’s be realistic about modern life: Lots of men and women work long, stressful hours, particularly at the time of life when they are thinking of having children. They are bombarded with stimulation, information, expectations: it all leads to overload. So many couples have lost focus, running down many routes: Trying to conceive, undertaking all sorts of treatments, but often not looking at their everyday environment and things that they can do for themselves. Let’s keep it simple.

      The focus of many clinics and books like this is often wholly on the woman and her situation. But, as I’ll point out, problems conceiving can equally be with the male partner. So in this book you will find me frequently talking about the health of both partners in a couple, and there is a lot of information about male fertility.

      If you are going to take control of your own fertility, you need to understand it properly. This book offers you practical knowledge and information about how your fertility works, how to monitor it and how to help improve it. Many of my clients are extremely intelligent, high-achieving, successful people, but they are ignorant of the biological basics. It’s something they are often acutely embarrassed about, but it’s not entirely surprising – it’s easy to get lost in all the medical jargon. However, hidden in that jargon is important information. Don’t be tempted to just give up on it and flee to complementary treatments as an escape. The medicine we’ve got used to in Western countries is highly technical, and has perhaps become impersonal in its approach, but it can be used to extremely good effect. Good complementary approaches, particularly those that deal with the whole person – body, mind and spirit – can be very valuable, too, but it is important to choose the right ones, the right practitioners and, crucially, to combine them with a proper medical approach.

      This book brings both approaches together, getting the best from each. It reflects the special aspect of the work I do every day in my own clinic – a truly integrated use of Western and complementary practice. Western medicine is evidence based and founded on proven measurable results. As far as possible, the treatments I advocate are equally evidence based, even in the area of complementary care.

      More than that, I am interested in why couples want to have children; what else in their lives is making that possible or difficult; why perhaps they haven’t thought about it before.

      It is a fact that women are leaving it later to have children. There are many reasons for this trend, but there is no getting away from the fact that the chances of conception diminish with age. Being realistic, I firmly believe that women in their thirties should be fast tracked for investigation. They do not have indefinite time left to keep trying, and there may be fertility problems to be addressed.

      Perhaps one of the reasons couples delay pregnancy is an increasing need and expectancy for perfection. They think, ‘We’ll just wait until next year for a better income/home/lifestyle’ and so on. But of course the perfect moment never comes, even though there’s an industry of self-help programmes guiding you towards that perfect balance. And then, as with ‘perfect’ diets, when you stray from the path there’s often guilt and remorse to cope with and you have to start all over again. This book is not about being perfect, but about being practical.

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