Скачать книгу

       The Best Curry in the World

       Roast Garlic and Camembert

       Fat

       Fish

       Interlude: Things to Make Sure You Have Done Before You Bring a Baby Home from Hospital

       Courgettes

       Golabki

       Auntie Hannah’s Courgette Thing

       Meat Fear Part 2

       WWKMD

       Falling Asleep in Cars

       Small Things

       Please Do Not Invite Me to Your Party

       What the Hell to Do with Red Mullet

       The Time I Went on a Date with Jason Orange

       I Hate Summer

       Worst Holiday Ever

       You Can’t Fake a Family (AKA Worst Holiday Ever Part 2)

       Premature Middle Age

       How Not to Look a Fright

       Where I Finally Go Completely Mad

       An Obligatory Cocktail Recipe

       Dead Prostitute Friends

       Just So Tired

       Gumbo

       The Perfect is The Enemy of the Good

       What Makes a Perfect Kitchen?

       Make-Amends Brownies

       Life Stoves My Head in with a Plank

       Banana Bread Part 2

       Cullen Skink

       Meat Fear Part 3

       Kitchen Gadgets

       How to Cater for a Lot of People Without Going Insane or Having to Be a Very Good Cook

       Kitty’s Jersey Royal Hash

       Breaded Scallops

       Interlude: How to Talk to a Butcher

       Making Dinner, Night after Night, Without Going Insane

       A Mouse

       A Ham is Not Just for Christmas

       Meatballs

       Welsh Cakes

       Nasi Goreng or Dirty Rice

       Scones

       Asian Baked Salmon

       Treacle Tart

       Tex-Mex Chicken

       A Pork Pie

       Note: How to Clean Your Kitchen

       Epilogue

       Keep Reading

       Appendix: Pastry

       Recipe Index

       Thank You

       Also by the Author

       About the Publisher

      Prologue

      I always skip over prologues in books because it’s almost always the boring author, boring on about some dreary yet grand schema they have for their dismal little work. But this isn’t going to be boring!! I promise!! And you need to read it to understand what follows. I need to explain just what the hell is going on. So, ready?

      In 2009 I walked out on my job as a features writer on the Independent. Being a features writer was my dream job, until I started doing it and realized that I was no good at it. Worse, the paper was running at a massive loss with a miserable shortage of staff, money and morale. They didn’t like me, and I didn’t like them and the whole thing was a terrible disaster. I left with no job to go to, but I lived with my rich boyfriend and I thought that with my experience and the few friends I had in the industry, I could get myself some sort of freelancing career.

      But about two months after I went, Lehman Brothers collapsed, the housing market swiftly followed and the world sank into a recession, which seems ongoing. This, coupled with the fact that as chance would have it I am not only the world’s worst features writer, I am apparently also the world’s worst freelance journalist, spelled disaster for my career.

      I just could not get it together. Getting a piece published suddenly seemed to be

Скачать книгу