Daddy - Tuhin Sinha

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      A few weeks before Tanish’s birth, Ramyani and I signed up for stem cell banking. There are several private or personal banks in the country that store stem cells extracted from the amniotic fluid of the child. This can later be accessed by the person whose stem cells have been banked or his/her immediate relatives in case of a medical emergency. The concept of stem cell banking has been active for many years in India but the parents I spoke to were all sceptical about the credibility of the companies. Since it is originally a western concept, I guess they were doubtful if the services in India could match international standards.

      I was very keen that we go in for it while Ramyani was not. I looked at it as medical insurance for the baby. ‘Why cut corners when it comes to shielding your baby from potential health risks,’ I thought? Our doctor said we should opt for it if money was not an issue. The rates ranged between Rs 70,000-1,00,000 at that time. We chose an offer by Cordlife India. Asad opted for a brand called Life Cell. “They were prompt and almost professional. It was only after Aishwarya Rai Bachchan decided to be a spokesperson for it and their full page ad in The Times of India did the service get a tad bit slow. I guess they were overwhelmed with calls!” he says.

      The exorbitant rates of stem cell banking could pose as a deterrent for those considering it. My friend in Bangalore, Zahid H Javali, decided against it because he felt it was too large an investment on something that may or may not be worth it. “The practice isn’t as standardised and widespread as it is in the western countries. The proper care and upkeep of stem cells is a concern. Not too many people are qualified and committed to the cause of medical hygiene,” reasons Zahid, who runs his own custom publishing firm. His concerns seem to be valid, but then again, there are parents who did not go in for stem cell banking for the same reasons, and regret it now. In such cases, Zahid says parents can make things right by opting for dental stem cell banking which can be done while the child still has milk teeth.

       Once you know your wife is expecting, finalizing the right gynaecologist and hospital should be your top priority.

       Information never hurts! Get yourself enrolled to www.babycenter.in for weekly updates on the development of the baby and advancement of your wife’s pregnancy.

       Have your wife take the blood tests and ultrasounds on time. Some of the early ones can be discomforting for the new mother, especially if it is a vaginal ultrasound. Give her the moral support and encouragement she needs to see her through this phase.

       The right time to clean up and re-design your home or to shift to a new one is before the baby is born. Dust particles are best avoided once the baby is born.

       Accompany your wife to the ultrasounds. They are the closest interface that you can have with your baby before he is born, so make the most of it.

       Go in for stem cell banking, unless you can’t afford it. Treat it as a form of medical insurance. The good thing is that it might be useful for your blood relatives as well.

       Chapter 4

       Giving Emotional Support

       She needs some tender loving care

      Apart from sharing responsibilities with your pregnant wife, a key challenge for the modern man is to provide emotional support to her. In today’s corporate work culture, where ‘deliverables’ is a key word, it becomes crucial to determine how an intangible deliverable such as emotional support is measured.

      But first you must understand why the emotional support of a husband is so crucial. Pregnancy involves biological and hormonal changes in a woman’s body which brings with it irritation and mood swings. Morning sickness and fatigue can get cumbersome beyond a point and result in fits of anger. It’s not easy to report to work when you’re coping with morning sickness. The world outside is unlikely to show empathy, leaving it to the husband to show support and patience.

      If your wife is working full-time through her pregnancy, she needs some TLC when she’s back home. This means that you may need to make alterations to your social calendar. Now that you’re going to become a dad, you have to prioritize your commitments. Make sure you cut down on boy’s night outs with friends and be at home instead to take the load off some of the housework. Remember that your wife’s social life will also become non-existent towards the end of her pregnancy. There won’t be too many things she can eat or places she can go to with her growing baby bump.

      The best gift you can give your pregnant wife is to spend quality time with her through the nine months. This means giving her priority over work commitments whenever possible so that she doesn’t get a chance to feel lonely or neglected. I let go of an offer to join a TV channel when Ramyani was in her seventh month because I didn’t want her to be alone till the D-day. Also, I was afraid of missing out on all the beautiful first-hand experiences.

      Try and get out of office by 6:30-7 PM instead of stretching it to 11 PM. I know it is easier said than done—you might still have calls to make or mails to respond to. Actor Imran Khan boldly decided to go on a sabbatical till his wife delivered. In an interview, he said he wasn’t going to take up any film offers till his baby was born. I’m certain this aroused jealousy in many a men who don’t have the option of taking a break. I got lucky in this department since I’m a freelancer. But I hope these examples inspire other dads too.

      A large percentage of women experience morning sickness during the first trimester of pregnancy and then it gradually peters off. The name morning sickness is rather deceptive because it can occur at any time of the day. This combined with hormonal changes that the body goes through can make her exceptionally vulnerable. Be prepared for her mood to constantly yo-yo through the day. If you feel you’re on the verge of losing your temper, watch yourself before saying something hurtful. There’s really no way to control this; it is a process women have to go through whether they like it or not. The best you can do is read up on it so that you know what to expect and can support her better. In fact, Imran Khan had confessed in an interview that his wife Avantika was so frustrated with her pregnancy that she wanted it to end sooner.

      In the later stages, it’s the constant kicks of the baby that trouble the mother. There were times I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find Ramyani missing. She’d sit by the window of the living room in stoic silence. “He’s been kicking furiously…just doesn’t allow me to sleep,” she’d complain. I realised God has been lenient with men, exempting us from these painful experiences.

      The

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