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***
A couple of days stuck in the snow in London had suddenly taken a very nice turn for the better.
‘Have dinner with me tonight,’ he said again, as soon as she pocketed the phone.
‘I can’t.’
‘Why not? Your better offer is stuck in the snow somewhere for the rest of the weekend.’
‘That was a private conversation.’
He shrugged and grinned.
‘Yeah well, it was kind of hard to miss. Come on, you’re on your own now, I’m offering to buy you dinner. What exactly is it that you’re afraid of?’
‘I’m not afraid!’ she snapped.
‘Then what?’
She looked down at her fingers.
He watched as she took a deep breath before the knockback, not that he had any intention of taking no for an answer, no matter how many times or how many different ways she said it.
‘I don’t do the same situation twice,’ she said.
‘Living in the moment.’ he said, holding her hazel gaze. ‘Of course. I get that.’ That had been something else so enthralling about her all that time ago. Unlike him, with his mapped out future and responsibilities, she’d had no agenda, no grand life plan other than to squeeze every drop out of every single experience she had. The memory of what that had meant in bed made heat begin to simmer in his veins. ‘But still we didn’t part on bad terms back then. Where would be the harm in us having dinner?’
Gentle fob-off clearly wasn’t working so she cut to the chase.
‘I just have rules about that kind of thing,’ she blurted. ‘Life rules.’
He was staring at her as if he thought she might be insane.
‘Life rules,’ he repeated.
She emphasised each point by counting them off on her fingers.
‘I never go over old ground. I don’t do the same situation twice. The past is the past. I leave it there and I only ever look forward – which are actually all the same rule said in different ways but that’s how important they are to me’
She held his gaze boldly for a moment, giving him a chance to process.
‘What kind of nutty way to live your life is that?’ he said at last.
‘You can mock if you like but it’s actually stood me in good stead.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s nothing personal. We had a great time but it was over with five Christmases ago.’
She held her hand up, five fingers extended, to press the point even further.
‘You’re knocking me back because of some crazy life rules? Is this some recent thing? How come you never mentioned them when we last met?’
‘I didn’t need to mention them then. It was the first time around.’
She saw exasperation fight with determination on his face. Apparently determination won because he came right back with a different approach. She had to hand it to him, he didn’t give in easily. Most men she came across who showed an interest were easy to discourage with a firm no. Not that she was particularly snowed under in that department, her last date having been a brief affair months ago.
‘You do realise you’re working against higher elements here,’ he said.
‘What?’
She looked at him through narrowed eyes.
‘Fate,’ he said. He was watching her intently. ‘Think about it. Everything about this encounter is down to luck. How many probabilities do you think we’ve bucked here?’ He began to count off on his fingers. ‘You’re here because of a competition win, must be thousands of entrants, and now your mate can’t make it through and you’re here alone. Pure chance. And me? White Christmas in the UK. When did we last have one of those?’
She couldn’t stop a smile at his refusal to give in. Obviously taking it as a sign of weakening, he leaned in towards her. She caught the clean woody scent of his shower damp hair. ‘We were meant to meet again and do you really want to be the one to slap fate in the chops?’
‘Fate, in my experience has a crap sense of humour,’ she said. ‘Best not to engage with it at all. I control my life, not the other way around.’
‘I’m asking you to have dinner with me not jump into bed with me,’ he countered.
She could feel her heart quicken, because wasn’t there a part of her that wanted dinner? Wanted more than dinner? That brief hot encounter in the steam room still held her body in its grip. In terms of physical want and need, wasn’t there something about him now that felt…unfinished?
Her mind, not completely turned to mush by his stomach-softening lopsided smile, and by what he could do with his hands, took the opportunity to remind her that however lightly she might portray it now, walking away back then had been no picnic. It had been a bit of a wrench in fact. By the end of that night she had been smitten and there had been a part of her that wanted to swap addresses, make future plans, see how it went. But her resolution had never truly faltered because she didn’t need a crystal ball to know how things would turn out if she did.
Tom Henley was from a different world. Back then and still now. It could never have lasted. Why taint the perfect night by trying to prolong it? Long-term happiness could not be built on a chance encounter. OK so they might have made a strong connection, but it was still just a one-night stand. And she knew better than anyone that you couldn’t build a future on one of those. Not the kind of future that fostered happiness at least.
Why resurrect all this now? It had been neatly filed away in her past and Ella Scott didn’t do the past. She did the future, she did optimism, she turned a fresh new page every day and made her own happiness because she couldn’t rely on anyone else to do it for her.
‘It isn’t about dinner or about sex,’ she said. ‘It’s about principles. Something that’s great the first time around shouldn’t be revisited. You shouldn’t mess with perfection, it will only be a let down in the long run. Nothing’s ever better the second time around.’ She gave him a breezy smile as she walked away. ‘I hope your plane is rescheduled quickly and you have a good journey.’
‘You’re wrong,’ he called after her.
She turned back and looked him straight in the eye. He was staring at her as if he thought she might be crazy, so she took a couple of paces closer so he could see she was serious.
‘Classic movie remakes,’ she said. ‘The first time you visit Paris. Horrible cover versions of great songs. First kisses. Amazing meals. A new book.’ She paused and added, ‘Relationships.’ She stood for a moment looking at him. ‘It was a perfect night, a fantastic memory. How the hell could I possibly improve on it? Why would I want to?’ She gave him a parting smile. ‘I’m sorry. It was nice to meet you again but I never should have let it get beyond a quick hello.’
****
So he was a fantastic memory? His pride took a well-needed boost from that comment because for a while there as she gave him the brush off despite the way she’d melted into him in the spa, he’d been wondering if he was losing his touch. He’d wondered exactly the same thing five years ago in the weeks following that cold morning after a mind-blowing night when he’d woken up to an empty bed.
Finding out that the abrupt end of their time together had been down to her own reasons alone, completely insane though they were, was threaded through with relief that it hadn’t been down to something lacking in him or his performance. And if it had been a perfect night and a fantastic memory he was surely in with a chance of talking her into a second round.
A