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half-term although it is unfortunate that I won’t be able to stay with them for the whole week as they are both working and cannot get more than a few days off. He said they are very disappointed about this but they are not free agents like Mum and Slimey. They can’t just take time off whenever they feel like it.

      I said that I understood and that it would be lovely to get away even just for a few days. Dad said, “Why? Are you fed up? You’re sounding a bit fed up.” So I told him about Mum breaking her promises, not letting me have a dog or choose a video, and Dad said, “Breaking a promise to a child is one of the worst things you can do,” which I must say I heartily agree with.

      He said, “I can’t offer you a dog, but when you come to us you can watch whatever video you like, and that is a PROMISE.” I said, “You mean it? Any video I like?” and he said, “Any video except Snow White and those dratted Dwarves.” And I hadn’t even told him that that was what Mum and Slimey made me watch! He said they kept pushing it at him in his local video shop, trying to make him take it.

      “Don’t,” I said. “It’s really yucky.”

      Dad said, “I won’t, don’t worry! I was taken to see it as a kid and had nightmares for months afterwards.”

      Nightmares? What on earth could he have had nightmares about? Dad must have been an extremely sensitive little boy.

      When I told Mum about him and Rosemary not being able to get time off she gave this sort of sneer, with her lip hooped up, and said, “You amaze me!”

      “It’s because they both go out and do proper work,” I said. “They can’t just go taking days off whenever they want, like you can.”

      “Of course they can’t,” said Mum, all sarky and snide.

      “Well, they can’t,” I said. “They do very important jobs.”

      “I don’t call being a computer programmer all that important,” said Mum. “Nor being an office manager,” she added.

      It’s Rosemary who’s the office manager, Dad who’s the computer programmer. They both work in the same office, which is probably quite nice for them.

      I said, “If it wasn’t important, nobody would care if they took time off,” and to my surprise old Slimey jumped in and agreed with me. He said, “She’s absolutely right!” and I saw him give Mum this funny little frown. I don’t know what he did that for, but anyhow it stopped her trying to tell me that Dad isn’t important, which I really resent. He said, “The way I see it, everyone is important in his own way.” To which Mum snapped, “Her!” being a bit of a feminist which actually I am as well. So then old Slime says, “His or her. I stand corrected,” and goes on to say that he personally doesn’t see why a person that sweeps the road, for instance, should be considered any less important than a prime minister, which is just stupid. Anybody could sweep the road. Not anybody could be prime minister. And not anybody could be a computer programmer, either, so sucks to Mum! She certainly couldn’t be.

      141 Arethusa Road

      London W5

      18 October

      My dear Carol,

      Well, I’ve done it! My secret is out. On the whole she has taken it very well; far better than I’d dared to hope. To begin with I could see she was a bit stunned – as she had every right to be – and a bit put out that I hadn’t told her sooner, but I apologised for that and admitted that I was a coward, and I think she understood.

      I was dreading that she would feel resentful and that we’d be in for an attack of the sulks, but the other day she was even suggesting names to me and was starting to sound enthusiastic! I realise now that I was wrong to keep it from her – Roly said all along that I was – but I’m hoping no real harm has been done. I am making sure that we spend some part of every day talking about the baby together, even if it’s just five minutes, so that she will be made to feel a part of it and not left out in the cold.

      I’m glad you’ve had a good week (meeting handsome Texans! You just watch it!) because after a bumpy start so have we. Roly went away to Newcastle for just one night and I missed him more than I could have thought possible, but it gave me the opportunity I needed to talk to Cherry and make my confession, and when he came back the next day he’d brought her the most truly beautiful china ornament that he found in an antique shop. I told him that it’s far too valuable to give to a child, especially one as clumsy as Cherry, but he insisted that he had bought it for her and that she must have it. She mumbled her thanks – not quite as ungraciously as usual – and seemed reasonably pleased with it. She has put it away very carefully on a high shelf, but it’s only a matter of time before it gets smashed to smithereens.

      I sometimes wonder whether Roly is trying too hard. Might it not be better if he gave her tit for tat and treated her with the same contempt as she treats him? Unfortunately – or fortunately – it’s just not in his nature. He is a very gentle, caring person and I’m afraid that a child like Cherry rides rough-shod over him. I’m hoping that the baby may bring out the softer side of her nature. If she has one!

      No, that’s not fair. She has on the whole a very sunny personality, very bright and bubbly, and can be quite warm and loving when she chooses. I remember after Gregg and I first split up she was incredibly supportive. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter! It’s just that at the moment events are rather conspiring to bring out the worst.

      On Saturday she wanted to go to something she calls a sleep-over at a friend’s house and we had a bit of a scene when I wouldn’t let her. Roly says I should have taken the chance, but he hasn’t seen the parents!!! The father works in a gambling den and the mother – well! The mother is something else. Huge peroxide beehive, mascara ten inches thick, mock leopardskin coat. Roly says what does it matter, but I don’t want Cherry being led into bad ways and coming back here using foul language, which she is likely to do. The child swears like a trooper. Anyway, to make up for not letting her go we all went up the road for a pizza and then came back to watch a video. Guess what we saw? SNOW WHITE! Did you ever see it when you were a kid? I adored it – and still do! Cherry was inclined to be rather sniffy at first but afterwards she went out into the hall to telephone one of her friends and I heard her laughing, so she was obviously happy, which is something she hasn’t always been just lately.

      She’s desperately looking forward to staying with Gregg for a few days at half-term. I just hope he doesn’t let her down. Originally she was going to go for the whole week, but surprise, surprise! He can’t get the time off. Funny he could spend a whole fortnight in Florida back in July and is going off skiing for another fortnight at Christmas, but can’t spare just one week to be with his own daughter.

      I know I mustn’t run her dad down in front of her, but the temptation is sometimes very strong! Happily on this occasion, bless him, Roly stepped in before I could open my big mouth and say something which I might afterwards have regretted. I wouldn’t want to poison Cherry’s mind against her dad. I won’t say she regards him as a god, exactly, but he is certainly far higher in the popularity stakes than my poor Roly. On the other hand, I do believe I have detected a slight softening in her attitude just recently. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

      Please report on handsome Texans.

      Love from

       Chapter 5

      Monday

      He’s still shoving these stupid cards under my door. I really hate the thought of him creeping about doing that while I’m asleep. I just keep chucking them in the waste-paper basket. I’m still on strike and so the basket is practically overflowing and everything is thick dust except for the

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