Play With a Tiger and Other Plays - Doris Lessing

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      ANOTHER: My father served on this committee and he said it never altered in his lifetime.

      FIFTH PRECEPT: Not that Door. The other one.

      A DELEGATE: What Door?

      ANOTHER: What other Door?

      CHAIRMAN: As you two are new on this committee, you may not know that certain deviant and of course unimportant sects have always maintained that the real Door is that one. [He nods at the Door, right. The GUARDIAN coughs.] I apologize.

      GUARDIAN: It is not your fault these heresies continue.

      DELEGATE: Funny, I never even noticed it.

      GUARDIAN: Which is not surprising.

      FOURTH PRECEPT: It is easily overlooked.

      FIFTH PRECEPT: Until you have seen it – but then some people find it hard to look at anything else.

      ONE WHO STARES AT THE ALTAR: Why, it isn’t even attached to anything. It doesn’t lead anywhere.

      ANOTHER: It isn’t anything at all.

      GUARDIAN [on his feet and obviously about to launch into an oration]: My children, in this unfortunate time, let us all take heart and …

      CHAIRMAN: Quite so, oh quite so, Guardian, but perhaps I should deal with this? [GUARDIAN seats himself again] Secretary, have you file Number 7? [SECRETARY hands over file 7] Last week, our investigators found evidence of a new subversive cult and …

      FIFTH PRECEPT: You mean, our spies.

      CHAIRMAN: If you like. But there is unrest. Serious unrest.

      [There is noise beyond the left opening. One of the ATTENDANTS comes running to the conference table.]

      ATTENDANT: Some of them insist on coming in.

      CHAIRMAN: You have forgotten something, I think?

      ATTENDANT: Second Hereditary Attendant to the Gate to the First Level. Some of them insist on coming in.

      CHAIRMAN: They can wait until tomorrow.

      [A second ATTENDANT runs over.]

      THIS ATTENDANT: First Hereditary Attendant. They’ve got hand-grenades.

      CHAIRMAN: I knew it. [to a GUARD] Arrest the Fourth and Fifth Precepts.

      FIFTH PRECEPT: You haven’t the authority.

      CHAIRMAN: Haven’t I!

      SECRETARY: Precepts cannot be arrested without a week’s full notice and then only after having posted …

      CHAIRMAN: Oh never mind. Doctor – Precept Doctor?

      [DOCTOR stands up.]

      FIFTH PRECEPT: There’s no appeal against that.

      CHAIRMAN: No.

      [The DOCTOR takes FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS over to right. He claps his hands. Two white-overalled MEDICAL ASSISTANTS come running from left with a rolled stretcher, bottles of pills, a syringe. All the DELEGATES are watching these arrangements. The two who supported FOURTH and FIFTH PRECEPTS rise and go over and join them.]

      SECRETARY: Heroic!

      CHAIRMAN: But futile.

      FIRST HEREDITARY ATTENDANT: Exalted Chairman, they give us five minutes. They have the pins out of their grenades.

      CHAIRMAN: We bow to force. Let them in.

      [Two LOW-LEVELLERS come in. They are dressed in sweaters and jeans, have long hair, carry grenades.]

      CHAIRMAN: Who are you?

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: That doesn’t matter.

      CHAIRMAN: We must know with whom we are dealing.

      SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: We are from Level 56.

      [Munnurs of shock and surprise from the DELEGATES.]

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Yes, this is the first time any one of you have set eyes on Level 56-ers, isn’t it?

      CHAIRMAN: Your status?

      SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Oh tell them, if it keeps them happy.

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

      SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: Officer First Class, Second Subsidiary Grade.

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: Elected officers.

      CHAIRMAN: Impossible.

      SECRETARY: Sir, there was that revolution last month in the Intermediate City.

      CHAIRMAN [affable]: Ah, so you are the leaders of the successful coup in the Intermediate City?

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: You can put it like that if you can’t, understand it any other way.

      [From the left comes a muffled shout.]

      We have no leaders!

      [Some more LOW-LEVELLERS come into view, trying to force their way past the ATTENDANTS. FIRST and SECOND LOW-LEVELLERS turn so that they are able simultaneously to keep the DELEGATES controlled with their hand-grenades, and watch the entrance left. THIRD and FOURTH LOW-LEVELLERS burst in, with rifles. They are wearing a lot of leather, and have short hair.]

      THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: It is no use trying to keep us out.

      CHAIRMAN: Very well, I suppose there is nothing for it. I declare the conference reopened, for discussion on Item 99. Will you please all be seated?

      FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: A committee! Would you believe it!

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: We might have known it.

      SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: I’m not wasting my time talking.

      THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: I’ll give you exactly three minutes.

      FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: And don’t imagine we wouldn’t use them.

      CHAIRMAN: You don’t want to discuss Item 99?

      FIRST LOW-LEVELLER: We don’t want to discuss anything.

      GUARDIAN: What do you want then?

      SECOND LOW-LEVELLER: To have full representation in the celebrations tomorrow.

      THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: The Ceremony of the Garlanding of the Door.

      CHAIRMAN: I’d almost forgotten about that. We have a rehearsal in a few minutes, haven’t we?

      GUARDIAN: Do you mind repeating that? You have forced your way in here because you want representation for Level 56 in the Garlanding Ceremony?

      THIRD LOW-LEVELLER: Not only 56. All the levels beyond that too.

      CHAIRMAN: But it’s not physically possible to have representatives from all the hundred levels. That was why it was arranged by the First Ones that the levels from 1 to 50 should represent 50 to 100.

      GUARDIAN: But after all, we haven’t been faced with fifty extra people, only four.

      FOURTH LOW-LEVELLER: It was never anything but a disgustingly unfair arrangement.

      CHAIRMAN: Yet I see that you and your friend are happy to represent all the levels beyond 56. Isn’t that so?

      FIFTH PRECEPT: Exalted Chairman, may I remind you that we are placed here because you decided that we were part of this – demand?

      A DELEGATE: Conspiracy!

      ANOTHER DELEGATE: Undemocratic and violent overthrow of Constitutional Government!

      CHAIRMAN: Well well, I don’t know. Perhaps we of the upper levels have got a bit stuffy. I see no reason at all why Level 56 shouldn’t be represented at the ceremony. And they may start by joining us

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