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worry,’ she put a hand out to placate him, ‘it was on private land. Uncle Miles owns a disused track. I drove it there.’

      ‘Well I don’t see why you bothered. It’s not as if you can drive it anyway.’

      ‘That’s the thing; I’d forgotten I …’ There probably wasn’t any point explaining to Robert that her uncle had taught her to drive at the age of thirteen and that until she was fifteen she’d been a regular at the track. She knew he would be horrified.

      ‘Anyway Cam’s agreed to do the driving.’

      ‘What all the way to Italy?’ Robert looked sceptical

      She nodded.

      His mouth turned down. ‘That’s great then, isn’t it?’

      ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘Well he’s hardly doing it out of the goodness of his heart is he? So your uncle must have paid him. How much I wonder?’ Then he brightened. ‘I suppose it will be worth it when you get to Italy.’

      ‘Yes.’ She stepped past him into the kitchen. No sign of food on the go yet.

      ‘That’s brilliant.’ Robert scooped her up in his arms and swung her around. ‘You’re amazing, you know that.’ He kissed her soundly and then deepened the kiss, his tongue diving into her mouth.

      His sudden enthusiasm and the unexpected amorous lunge of his hand down her shirt and into her bra confused her. To put it bluntly he’d always been a lights off, in bed only type of guy and much as she might have occasionally wished for a bit more spontaneity, this didn’t feel right.

      With his other arm he pulled her against him.

      ‘Oh Laurie, I love you so much,’ he moaned, nuzzling her neck. ‘I’m going to miss you so much.’

      ‘Robert,’ she tried to push him away but he was kissing her mouth again and pushing his groin against her with such insistence that she suddenly found herself with her back against the draining board.

      ‘I love you …’ he kissed her full on the lips again, eyes focused and bright. ‘Let’s get married. I know the registry office idea threw you … but with you going away … let’s just do it. Life’s too short. I hate the idea of you being so far away from me. I need to know you’ll come back to me. Mrs Evans.’ He held her face in his hand, his fingers biting just a bit too hard into her jaw.

      The intensity of his gaze, full beam, stirred anxiety rather than joy. This should have been romantic, incredibly romantic … it wasn’t.

      ‘What’s wrong, Robert?’

      ‘Nothing. It’s just you not wanting to get married knocked me. I couldn’t bear to lose you.’

      ‘Don’t be silly.’ She smiled to take the sting out of the words but he was being completely ridiculous. In their time together he’d never had a particularly romantic bent. They just weren’t that sort of couple. Why now? And why was he spouting about ‘losing’ her? It was ridiculously melodramatic.

      ‘If you really want all the bells and whistles, we can do that when you get back. Renewal of vows. The important bit is us, you and me, promising to each other. A declaration, private, just the two of us.’ Robert’s earnest gaze bored into her. She felt saliva collecting in her mouth, her jaw tense, aching.

      She closed her eyes trying to distance herself from him. The last thing, she wanted to do was hurt his feelings. What a contrary bitch she was. After such an impassioned, desperate declaration. And that was the clincher. Desperate.

      The word rang in her head. Desperate. Why was he suddenly so desperate? In eighteen months, he’d never shown any interest in getting married. She’d broached the subject six months ago, and despite the possible tax breaks, he’d been quite sure there wasn’t much point.

      ‘Honestly Robert, don’t be so daft.’ She pushed past him and opened the fridge. ‘Fancy an omelette for tea?’ Not waiting for his answer, she carried on, ‘Besides, it’s only a couple of weeks.’ She shook her head refusing to give into irritation. He’d got some bee in his bonnet but she wasn’t going to let it cause an argument.

      She didn’t do arguments or confrontation.

      ‘Laurie, darling … don’t you want to marry me?’

      He was pouting, looking ludicrous and she had no idea what to do.

      The easiest thing would have been to say, don’t be silly … of course I do, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words instead she said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

      ‘Well why won’t you then?’

      ‘Why won’t I what?’ She stalled, taking a pack of eggs from the fridge.

      ‘Marry me.’ Robert looked entreatingly at her and guilt curdled in the bottom of her stomach. Why the hell didn’t she just say yes? For an easy life? But she couldn’t bring herself to.

      ‘But Robert, six months ago, you didn’t want to.’

      ‘I never said that.’ His mouth snapped shut in a mutinous line.

      ‘Yes you did. We talked about it.’

      ‘No we didn’t.’

      ‘We did. You said the only point was possible tax breaks.’

      ‘So you don’t want to marry me.’

      ‘I didn’t say that.’ Tamping down her exasperation, she cracked the eggs smartly on the edge of a Pyrex bowl, pushing the empty shells to one side.

      ‘Well you don’t exactly seem to be champing at the bit.’ With a sudden movement, he smashed his fist into one of the half shells crushing it.

      Realising she needed to tread carefully, she decided to change tack. ‘It’s not that … it’s just the timing.’

      ‘What’s wrong with the timing? I’d have thought with another death in the family, you’d want the security of another income. If I wasn’t around you’d be completely on your own.’

      Laurie closed her eyes, a feeling of unbearable sadness descending from nowhere. Everything he said had a horrible logic about it. Was that all it was about? Not being on her own? They made a good solid couple. Sensible.

      And today she’d tasted something else. Not sensible. For a moment she’d glimpsed a different world, experienced a surge of exhilaration and felt a moment of soaring freedom.

       Chapter 7

      She didn’t need the ring of the doorbell to tell her that Cam had arrived. The low grumble outside announced that it was time to leave.

      For some reason his punctuality surprised her. Robert lived his life to the second, a slave to perfect timing. She’d assumed Cam would be either very early or very late.

      With a last glance around the kitchen, she picked up her bag and hurried for the door. Her fingers toyed with her engagement ring. It would be mean and petty to dump it on the hall table. Reducing herself to Robert’s level. It didn’t feel right leaving without saying a proper goodbye but he’d left her no choice. Leaving her ring would have made a symbolic statement which would hurt him. A bit of distance now was probably exactly what they needed. The row about not getting married was utterly stupid and for him to carry it on and refuse to talk to her was even more stupid.

      Crossing quickly to the front door, she yanked it open. She didn’t want Cam wondering if she’d chickened out or to see the indecision lurking on her face. She had to go, for Miles and … Robert had to understand.

      She crossed her fingers, hoping she was doing the right thing.

      Forty-eight

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