LITMIR.BIZ

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I suppose we are. But you’ve been working yourself into the ground for months now. I mean, come on, you were back at work two days after giving birth! Isn’t it about time you gave yourself a break?’

      ‘I don’t want a break. Breaks give you far too much time to think about things.’

      She walked over to the dining table at the back of the room and started folding a pile of baby clothes that was lying on it.

      ‘Like what?’ Ryan asked, sitting down on the arm of the chair next to Rico’s carry-cot.

      Amber said nothing for a few seconds. She wasn’t in the mood for some deep conversation; she was way too tired for that. ‘Nothing.’

      ‘I hate it when you say that,’ Ryan sighed, throwing himself down into the chair. ‘There’s quite obviously something wrong, I can tell. You’re in one of those moods.’

      ‘One of those…? Jesus, Ryan.’

      ‘Okay, okay. I’m sorry.’

      She couldn’t help smiling, throwing a babygro at him.

      He grinned, flinging his legs over the arm of the chair as he held the babygro up in the air. ‘I can’t believe how small he is.’

      ‘Yeah, well, one day he’ll be as big as his daddy. I’m just hoping that doesn’t apply to his head, too.’

      Ryan looked at her, still grinning. ‘You got something to say there, Ms. Sullivan?’

      She just smiled at him, nudging his legs down. ‘Right, I’ve got to be somewhere.’

      ‘What? Already?’

      ‘Yes, Ryan. Unlike you, my working day is only just starting. You gonna be okay looking after him for the afternoon?’

      ‘I’m his dad, Amber.’

      She fixed him with a look. ‘Alright. I’ll be at Tynebridge if you need me.’

      Ryan sat up straight. ‘You’re going to Tynebridge?’

      She looked down into Rico’s carrycot, smiling at her son as his eyes flickered open. ‘Hey there, baby. You gonna be a good boy for daddy while I’m out earning us some pennies?’

      ‘Amber. Why are you going to Tynebridge?’

      She reached into the cot and carefully picked up Rico, cuddling him to her, kissing the top of his head as she gently ruffled his mass of dark hair. ‘Because, unless it’s slipped your notice, it’s the derby weekend. And Cloud Sports are showing the game live, as you well know. Me and Ronnie are going over there to set things up. He’s one of the pundits, and I’m presenting… Ryan, you know all of this.’

      ‘Is Jim gonna be there?’

      She nestled Rico in the crook of her arm as she fixed Ryan with another look. ‘I have absolutely no idea. Would it be a problem if he was?’

      Ryan shrugged, his manner verging on the petulant. ‘I’ve got to be at the ground myself by six. The boss wants us ready to leave for the hotel by half past. You gonna be back by then?’

      ‘I’ll let you know. If I’m not gonna make it you can just bring Rico down there. He can stay with me. Ryan, will you quit acting like a sulky teenager? Please? Me and Jim, it’s over. You know that. But I can’t avoid him forever; it’s impossible. So just grow up and deal with it. You know, sometimes it’s like having two kids…’ She kissed Rico again, reluctant to let him go. He was so warm and soft, and he smelt of baby talc, and all of a sudden Amber had an overwhelming urge to just stay there and cuddle him all afternoon. Just one mention of Jim’s name had done what it usually did – change her mood entirely. ‘Okay, poppet. Daddy’s taking charge now, so, you keep an eye on him and make sure he behaves himself.’

      ‘Yeah, you’re funny,’ Ryan said, standing up and carefully taking Rico from Amber, holding him up in the air and bringing him back down for a huge kiss. ‘Hey there, little fella. We’re gonna have some fun, me and you.’

      ‘Wear him out, will you?’ Amber half-smiled, grabbing her jacket from the back of the sofa. ‘It’s a busy weekend this weekend and I could do with a few more hours’ sleep. I’ll call you later, but you know where I am if you need me.’

      She was about to run out of the door when Ryan stopped her. ‘Amber?’

      She turned around. ‘Yeah?’

      ‘Come here. Please.’

      She walked back over to him, watching as he lay Rico back down in his cot. ‘What do you want, Ryan?’

      He moved closer to her, resting his hand lightly against her cheek. ‘I want you, Amber. And you know that.’

      ‘Ryan…’ His mouth was on hers before she had a chance to say anything else, and she gave in to his kiss, she couldn’t help it. Despite everything they’d been through in the past; despite the kind of man he’d used to be, he was giving her a sense of calm she really needed right now.

      She pulled him closer by his t-shirt, slipping a hand around the back of his neck, and for a few, beautiful seconds she lost herself in that kiss; lost herself in something she could have, if she wanted it. A wonderful life with a man who’d finally grown up, and he loved her. Ryan Fisher truly did love her. So she could have this, all of it. If she wanted it.

      He pulled away slightly, running his thumb lightly over her parted lips. ‘Things are crazy right now, Amber, I know that, but…’

      She backed away, grabbing her bag and jacket as she headed for the door. ‘I’m gonna be late. Call me if you need me, okay?’

      ‘Jesus… Amber!’

      She turned around again, but she had no intention of going back this time. ‘I’ve really got to go.’

      He looked at her, his hands in his pockets, his eyes locked onto hers. ‘Me and you… what’s really happening here?’

      She stared back at him, not really knowing what to say. ‘You know what’s happening, Ryan.’

      She knew as well as he did that that was no kind of answer. But it was the only one she had.

       *

      ‘Well, if it isn’t Superwoman herself.’

      ‘Don’t you start,’ Amber sighed, throwing her bag down onto the couch in the Players’ Lounge before going over to quickly kiss Ronnie’s cheek.

      ‘Trouble in paradise?’ Ronnie grinned, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms.

      Amber threw him a look out of the corner of her eye but said nothing in reply.

      ‘Everything’s okay, though, isn’t it?’ Ronnie asked, dropping the flippancy.

      ‘Everything’s fine, thank you. I’m just really busy.’

      ‘Yeah, I’m aware of that, Amber. I work with you.’

      She sat down, pushing her hands through her long, tousled hair. ‘It’s been good, you know? Having him around. And since we found out I was having Rico he’s changed, he really has.’

      ‘I take it we’re talking about Ryan?’

      She nodded, fiddling with the bracelet hanging on her left wrist.

      ‘Am I waiting for a “but” here?’ Ronnie asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.

      Amber sat back, letting out a small sigh. ‘No. Things just feel a bit weird, that’s all.’

      ‘Weird?’ Ronnie frowned.

      ‘I’m still getting used to being a mum, Ronnie. Something I never thought I’d be. I’m a mum. And every day I worry about whether I’m doing it right and if Rico’s okay and… it’s hard, sometimes. Especially when Ryan’s going on at

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