Little Wolf’s Book of Badness - Ian Whybrow

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      Borderlands Market

      Beastshire

      Day 6

      I had some big shocks today.

      You did not say about how cold it gets up in the mountains. You have to climb up and up above Crowfeet Crossroads. Sometimes you are up so high that nothing grows, not even trees. And the ice makes your feet slip. Two times I nearly skidded right over the edge of the path. It was terrible. When I peeped over, the houses down below looked small as sparrow nests.

      Then I got lost. I followed one thin path. It just went round and round and came back where I started. So I wrote TRICK PATH in big letters on a rock for the next traveller. And off I went fedduply.

      Just before dark I found the edge of Murkshire. I felt sleepy and wanted to lie down. My breath was in white clouds. Then I saw a deep dark tunnel going into a mountain wall and a sign above the entrance. It said:

      My fur started jumping up all along my back. But I did not want to stay in the open and freeze. So big breath and in I went, running, running. I shouted, “Can’t scare me. Yellow eyes are friends with the dark!” Then guess what! My words shouted back – only louder and growlier! I ran and ran with my puff hot in my throat. I had just enough puff to get to the end. It was the best feeling ever to be in the open, looking at the moon shining down. It was shining on the village of Borderlands Market.

      And that was how I got here. Just.

      Can’t keep awake. More tomorrow.

      Still Borderlands Market

      Beastshire

      Day 7

      Guess who woke me up this morning? I will give you a clue. He has got sharp eyes, a pointy face, red bristly fur and a smell like pepper.

      I was all curled up under a small cart near a street light in the market square – zzzz – fast asleep. All of a suddenly, I felt hot breath in my ear and this voice saying, “My boy!”

      I jumped up and banged my head. I tried to run but strong paws held me down and then I yelled, “Oo-er, a fox!”

      The fox said, “Mister Twister is my name. You are camping under my stall.” I said, “Whoops, sorry, Mister Twister.” he said, “Do not worry yourself, my boy. There will be no charge. For now. But then, something tells me that you are a keen young chappie who is eager to assist me with my work today.”

      I did not know how to say no to him. More later.

      Yours stuckly,

      Borderlands Market

      Day 8 – Morning

      Yesterday I did work in the market for Mister Twister. He sells dizgizzes (cannot spell it). My job was putting on false beards, masks, sheep’s clothing, etc. and walking up and down saying, “Hey, guess what I am?” It was quite good fun dressing up, and loads of people stopped to buy things.

      A small mouse came up to me and he said, “I am lonely. Can you sell me something to help me make friends?” I said, “Yes, I can. Here are some tieon wings. Wear these and stand on your head. Then loads of bats will come and play with you.” And guess what? He bought 2 pairs!

      And my best thing was finding something for a stoat to wear to a fancy dress ball. I sold him half a coconut and told him to shave all his fur off. Then he could go as a tortoise! He was so pleased he said I could keep the change.

      I like being a market worker.

      Yours richly,

      Day 8 – Afternoon

      Mister Twister said I was a good worker and would I stay? I wanted to but I told him I had to go to Cunning College and study for my BAD badge. “You amaze me!” he said, and his sharp eyes went wide, and his red fur went even more bristly. “Do you mean to tell me that you are going to Cunning College in Frettnin Forest?”

      I said, “Yes, do you know it?”

      He said, “My boy, I was a teacher in that school many a full moon ago! Your uncle and I used to be partners! Can you really be the nephew of that nasty mean bad horrid crook?”

      I said a proud “Yes”.

      The fox told me more. He and Uncle Bigbad met ages ago in Broken Tooth Caves when they were both hiding from the police. Uncle had the idea to stay out of sight in Frettnin Forest and start a school for bad beasts. He promised Mister Twister that if he worked hard, teaching the naughty pupils everything he knew, he would soon be rich.

      Mister Twister said, “My boy, it was dreadful. The pupils never gave me a moment’s peace! They were most awfully sly and squirmy, all those little skunks and stoats and rattlesnakes and cubs! How they got on my nerves, those spoilt little brutes! And what a fuss their horrid parents made, always wanting to know when their ghastly offspring would be getting their BAD badges! They quite wore me out. But when I asked your uncle for some money, just enough to allow me to take a short holiday, he threatened to eat me!”

      I said, “What did he say?”

      Mister Twister said, “He told me to get out and he said that if I ever put a paw in his school again, he would boil my bones and serve me up as soup.”

      I said, “Oo-er!”

      The fox said, “So you see, your uncle is a miser and a cheat. He has bags of money hidden away but he will not part with a penny of it. You would be unwise, my boy, to leave Borderlands Market. What is more, Frettnin Forest is a SHOCKING place, dismal, dark and lonely. Your Uncle Bigbad is dangerous. He has a terrible temper. In short, he is Mister Mean. My strong advice to you, my boy, is STAY AWAY FROM CUNNING COLLEGE!”

      I said, “Yikes, you have got a point!”

      Yours

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